I’ve been writing stories since I was elementary, but I’ve never finished a single one. At some point, I thought they were all just garbage, so I decided to delete all of it. Surely enough, I regretted that decision when I was in sixth grade, when one of my best friends also liked writing stories. I got back into writing stories because of her and our days of talking about the stories we had in mind. I haven’t seen her in a while and I miss her for a lot of reasons, but I guess things change and these memories are something I’ll cherish forever. I’ll still get to see her of course, so I look forward to those memories we’ll be making together in the future.
I wasn’t much of a poem or essay person, but during my first year in high school, we had to write a lot of them for our English class. I’d say that was the time I realized my fondness for writing. I already liked reading books and writing stories at the time, so I guess I just discovered that I found it easier to express my thoughts and feelings in writing rather than in speech. I was a quiet girl and, most of the time, I still am, so writing was my only medium of expressing myself, really.
Then I made this blog. It’s probably one of the best decisions in life I’ve made, so far. I’ve probably said this before, but my friend and I made our blogs because we were inspired to do so by an upperclassman. She’s really talented and successful and, honestly, she’s been one of my life pegs since high school. So she had a blog, well she has a blog, but she doesn’t write that often anymore, and my friend and I made our own blogs. My friend was really good at writing to the point where I sort of envied her, but it was all good since she was doing her thing and I was doing mine. She deleted it though, consequently leaving me alone in this blogging adventure we once shared. Well, it was more of a personal thing on her part and I don’t really feel deserted by her. Personally, I would’ve still wanted us to be as close as we were before, but it was my fault and that’s a completely different story.
Now, writing’s the only thing I can do, I think. Well, I’m not saying I’m a good writer, but it’s something I can do remotely well. I don’t write as often as I’d like to due to my circumstances and my frequent state of being uninspired, but I still love writing nonetheless.
Thinking about it, that’s actually something we need more of in this world: Love. I know I’ve written a lot about it, from my crushes to sharing love to complete strangers, and from loving yourself to God’s love. It’s a really broad and complex topic and I still think everyone has their own meaning of love.
But can I just say that it’s such an amazing thing to be a writer.. and in love..?
I’m not just talking about the romantic kind that Shakespeare wrote about in most of his works. I’m talking about love for God’s creations, such as life and nature. There are so many things to write about, but being in love with what you’re writing about is just.. wonderful, in the best sense of the word.
And what we write will live on for centuries, even after we die. Sure, it might not be as well-known as Shakespeare’s and Hemingway’s, but it’ll still be there and someday, it might even be read by future writers. That’d be nice, I think.
I think all writers leave pieces of themselves in everything they write, from those mandatory essays and reaction papers to their personal works. So, imagine living through these little pieces even after you’re gone – pretty much like how a horcrux works in the Harry Potter universe. Cool, right?
So, this me right now is writing this post and she might not be the girl I was in the past and I might not be her tomorrow, but she’s left pieces of herself in her writing and I will leave pieces of myself in mine.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
This post might be a bit messy, but this is probably the most well-written one I’ve posted in a while, so it’s okay. I started writing this because I felt frustrated that I’m not able to write a decent short story for my Wattpad account. I re-read my old ones and WHY DO THEY LOOK SO WELL-THOUGHT OF FOR ME???
So, yeah, I’m the girl with the pen who’s a writer in love.. with a lot of things- people, ideas, the world, life.. and I guess I’m in love with love, too. Or at least the idea of love.
Well isn’t this a fun post? HA. I have a quiz tomorrow and an exam on Saturday and what is life? And I’ve posted in two consecutive days! Wooh!
Also, I’d like to thank a lot of people, again. I might not be able to enumerate all the good things these people have done for me (even if they’re small and simple things) because there’s a lot of them, but thank you nonetheless for making these past few days brighter and for making me happier. So much love for you all~ ❤
Summer isn’t exactly going the way I planned. But then again, what does?
Summer term classes are alright. It’s a bit challenging for me because of the mindset that it’s supposed to be SUMMER. I end up spending more time watching Korean drama or movies, sleeping way to early, and waking up WAY to late. The bed seems more appealing than usual, even though I’m not all that tired. It’s not like I’ve cut class or anything, I was just almost late ONCE. But it’s still unusual because I usually wake up at least two hours before my first class. NOT 45 minutes.
Besides school, I’m still experiencing a terrible case of writer’s block. It’s been 19 days since I last posted an entry in this blog and I’m really inactive in my Wattpad account. And it’s just really sad. It’s summer and I love writing, so why can’t I write? I need to learn more about how to write better and to actually write.
I still haven’t loss any weight. Due to my schedule, I can’t go to the gym, so I need properly stick to my diet and to get more exercise. I don’t exactly know how to do that, yet. But I want to skate and to be able to do that right, I need to be healthier and more fit.
And it’s just a bit saddening to still be me while other people are evolving and doing great in life. Just a thought.
(Note: So summer’s kinda sad, right now, but it’s gonna be alright and I’m alright. I’ll make sure my next post is a lot more positive and decent than this haha.)
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
Have you ever just let yourself laze around with feeling only a slight tinge of guilt? Well that’s basically what I’ve been doing since last Thursday, right after I pass my final requirement for last semester. I’ve gotten my grades for all but one class, but I know my grade in that class, anyway. So, I’ve passed 6 out of my 8 classes last semester (well, 4/6 if you don’t count PE and community service) and, honestly, that’s better than the worst case scenario I had in mind. I’m sad that I didn’t pass all of them, but I really had a hard time this semester, especially with those two classes, so I’ve accepted it already and I’m just gonna have to take them again.
So, I’ve done nothing “productive”, in particular this past weekend. I’ve been trying to install a game that I’ve wanted to play for such a long time. But for some reason, it wouldn’t work, so I’ve given up on it. I’m a bit pissed cos I really wanted to play it, but life goes on and I need to work on mine. YES, I’m writing this post cause’ I can’t play the game. NO, I won’t be trying to install the game again. YES, my several failed attempts to install the game served as a wake up call for me to get my shit together, even though it’s technically summer.
What am I planning to do this summer? I don’t really know, yet. I guess I’d want to try going on a diet, again, to lose weight. Exercise a bit. Try becoming more of an adult cause’ I’m almost not a teenager. Write as much as I can, both in this blog and in my Wattpad account. Learn new skills, both practical and not-so-practical. Paint more and try digital art. And spend time with my family and friends.
Why am I writing all that down here? It’s my blog. It’s been my blog for five years and counting. And I just need to get my act together, so I’m writing it all down. Here.
So, I guess that’s that. Hopefully, I’ll be able to write again this week. I’m probably going to post “My Favorite Things 003” soon, so stay tuned. Or not. HAHAHA.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
(Note: The title of this post is “Puzzles” cos it’s better than my initial idea, “Sh*t Gathering”, and I just think that I need to put the myself back together again. NOT GOING THROUGH ANYTHING. JUST ONE HUGE MESS OF A HUMAN BEING. BUT EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT.)
Also, a sneak peek of my next post (aka what I’ve been doing with my summer, so far)
April 13, 2016: Four-ever and Ever!
“I’d like to say that I’ve changed a lot since starting this blog four years ago, but I haven’t or at least not in a grand dramatic scale. I’m still clumsy, poor at time management, pretty awkward, sleepy, overly-sensitive, and stubborn. It sucks because I’m TOO stubborn to learn from my mistakes the first time, or even the second and third time, it happens. But, I’m slowly, but surely, growing and hopefully, in the future, I become the kind of woman I want to be- strong, smart, independent, kind, and beautiful, above all other things. I’m in this constant state of fluctuating, up and down and up and down, but it’s a way of knowing that I’m trying and I’m changing.
I love this blog. It’s a place where I can pour my heart, thoughts, and feelings out. It’s always there for me- when I’m sad and lonely, when I’m happy and feeling incredible, and when I have the urge to write because of something I realized. I mean, sure, I have wonderful friends and a loving family, but sometimes, they’re not there or they can’t understand. Without this blog, I think I would’ve exploded because of my thoughts a long time ago. I love writing and I love this blog.
What happens from here on out? I don’t know and, although I have no way of knowing what happens in the future, the future I still have ahead of me, I want to keep writing for as long as I live, until my last breath, until my heart’s last beat.
This blog has been keeping me sane for four years and it will continue four-evermore!”
First of all, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my blog of 5 years and counting! Least to say, life has been a bit more challenging this past year. As an 18 year old, I’m already expected to act more like an adult- more mature, more understanding, more responsible, and the like. I don’t really know how to grow up yet, so it’s really been quite difficult.
I’ve only written 42 blog posts since my last blog anniversary post and that’s a lot lesser than my usual post count. Believe it or not, I wrote 44 blog posts last October 2012. 44 posts within that month. And now I’ve only posted 42 within a year.
I know I don’t write as often as I used to. I don’t write as much as I’d like to either. College has been really hard for me mostly because of my terrible sleeping habit and my horrible time management skills. I never learn from my previous mistakes and I’m still stubborn af.
It’s really hard to admit that little has changed since I made this blog. I thought by this time, I’d have most of my life figured out. I am blessed with so many things- a loving and supportive family, amazing friends, a roof above my head, and a lot more privileges other people could only dream of having. Not to mention that I’m living the dream– studying in my dream university and taking up a major I chose. So why am I still lost?
I miss having the time and inspiration to write. I miss being passionate about writing. I miss being able to do my best in everything I do. I really really miss the girl who’s this blog used to belong to. I don’t know how to get her back yet. I don’t even know if I’d ever get her back.
What I am proud of this past year is being able to serve God by being a lector in our church and being able to serve the community by teaching elementary students as part of my NSTP requirement. It’s not much, but I’m glad that even by a bit, I’m able to make a positive impact and I’m proud of that. I’m improving, even by just a notch, and that’s a good enough start.
So, yes, maybe I’m not the same Girl With the Pen that I was before and I might never be her again, but I’m still a work-in-progress- still learning and growing up. I believe that by this time next year, I’d be able to give a better report.
As usual, this post is kinda messy and I’m still kinda messy, but I’m working on it. I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank all my followers and readers. I know my posts aren’t always uplifting or inspirational, so I thank you for taking the time to read them anyway. I hope some of my posts are able to help you with what you’re going through somehow. Also, check out my book and anime recommendations in the Interests page. I could at least help you through that.
Hopefully, I’ll be able to post more and grow up more this year. I hope all of you are having a great day and, if not, always remember that there’s always something good in every day. Enjoy life and don’t give up, no matter what.
Love, The Girl With The Pen
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
(Note: Such a messy post huhu. I’m really lost rn with life, but I love life, in general. I’m positive that I can figure things out and get my shit together. It’s Holy Week, so this blog’s birthday is a lot less hectic than last year’s haha. Wishing ya’ll the best!)
I’ve lost myself somehow. I don’t know how, or when, but the person typing this out is definitely not the owner of this blog. The Girl With The Pen was someone passionate about writing and everything else she did, who loved the idea of love, and who never once thought of giving up. Where she is now? I wonder.
I over think a lot more than I should, which causes me to enjoy life a lot less. I feel inferior compared to the people around me. I feel trapped inside a box I built for myself. I feel like I’m doing a lot of things halfheartedly. And, really, it’s like I’m just trying to survive. Heck, I can’t even write properly about love and that in itself is a tragedy.
And it’s not how I want to get through life. I want to live life and enjoy it. I want to reciprocate the love I feel from the amazing people in my life and I want to share love to those people who need more of it. I want to laugh at jokes, no matter how corny or ridiculous they may be. I want to be passionate about something and chase my dreams head on. I want to go ahead and do everything I can to live a life with no regrets.
I miss her. I miss the girl who I used to be.
So I’ve decided to stop and take a good look at my life. Is this the way I want things to be? Is this how I want to remember college? Is this how I want to live?
And as I said, it’s not. So I’m going to change it. I know it can’t be that easy, but this is NOT what I want and I can’t afford to not live the only life I have the way I want to live it.
I’m gonna get myself back.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
I’ve almost gone a month without posting anything here and what is happening?? I’ve been so busy with college and recently, I’ve been eating out more with friends. These past few weeks have been really stressful (Engineering Drawing, Math, and Physics please huhu) but it’s also been quite fun, mostly during the times when I’m not cramming anything. Still, I haven’t written anything in weeks and that’s not good.
I just finished my Physics exam today and though I’m not really confident with it, IT’S FINALLY OVER! For the next exam, I have got to remember not to cram everything in (less than) one night. Horrible, I tell you.
So just a little update with what’s up. Not that I need to update you. Just for when I look back at this post, I guess haha. I’m done with the 3rd exam in Math, 2nd exam in Engineering Drawing, 2nd exam in Physics, and I’ve gone to a military camp! This week we celebrated my friend’s birthday at a board games place and it’s the FOURTH time I’ve been there! Not that I’m tired of it. The place is really awesome and being with friends makes every time more amazing!
I guess this is it for now. I feel like updating my story in wattpad with another oneshot chapter, so you guys should check it out! Thanks!
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE