Flash Post 015: Summer Rant

Summer isn’t exactly going the way I planned. But then again, what does?

Summer term classes are alright. It’s a bit challenging for me because of the mindset that it’s supposed to be SUMMER. I end up spending more time watching Korean drama or movies,  sleeping way to early, and waking up WAY to late. The bed seems more appealing than usual, even though I’m not all that tired. It’s not like I’ve cut class or anything, I was just almost late ONCE. But it’s still unusual because I usually wake up at least two hours before my first class. NOT 45 minutes.

Besides school, I’m still experiencing a terrible case of writer’s block. It’s been 19 days since I last posted an entry in this blog and I’m really inactive in my Wattpad account. And it’s just really sad. It’s summer and I love writing, so why can’t I write? I need to learn more about how to write better and to actually write.

I still haven’t loss any weight. Due to my schedule, I can’t go to the gym, so I need properly stick to my diet and to get more exercise. I don’t exactly know how to do that, yet. But I want to skate and to be able to do that right, I need to be healthier and more fit.

And it’s just a bit saddening to still be me while other people are evolving and doing great in life. Just a thought.

(Note: So summer’s kinda sad, right now, but it’s gonna be alright and I’m alright. I’ll make sure my next post is a lot more positive and decent than this haha.)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Puzzles

Have you ever just let yourself laze around with feeling only a slight tinge of guilt? Well that’s basically what I’ve been doing since last Thursday, right after I pass my final requirement for last semester. I’ve gotten my grades for all but one class, but I know my grade in that class, anyway. So, I’ve passed 6 out of my 8 classes last semester (well, 4/6 if you don’t count PE and community service) and, honestly, that’s better than the worst case scenario I had in mind. I’m sad that I didn’t pass all of them, but I really had a hard time this semester, especially with those two classes, so I’ve accepted it already and I’m just gonna have to take them again.

So, I’ve done nothing “productive”, in particular this past weekend. I’ve been trying to install a game that I’ve wanted to play for such a long time. But for some reason, it wouldn’t work, so I’ve given up on it. I’m a bit pissed cos I really wanted to play it, but life goes on and I need to work on mine. YES, I’m writing this post cause’ I can’t play the game. NO, I won’t be trying to install the game again. YES, my several failed attempts to install the game served as a wake up call for me to get my shit together, even though it’s technically summer.

What am I planning to do this summer? I don’t really know, yet. I guess I’d want to try going on a diet, again, to lose weight. Exercise a bit. Try becoming more of an adult cause’ I’m almost not a teenager. Write as much as I can, both in this blog and in my Wattpad account. Learn new skills, both practical and not-so-practical. Paint more and try digital art. And spend time with my family and friends.

Why am I writing all that down here? It’s my blog. It’s been my blog for five years and counting. And I just need to get my act together, so I’m writing it all down. Here.

So, I guess that’s that. Hopefully, I’ll be able to write again this week. I’m probably going to post “My Favorite Things 003” soon, so stay tuned. Or not. HAHAHA.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

(Note: The title of this post is “Puzzles” cos it’s better than my initial idea, “Sh*t Gathering”, and I just think that I need to put the myself back together again. NOT GOING THROUGH ANYTHING. JUST ONE HUGE MESS OF A HUMAN BEING. BUT EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT.)

Also, a sneak peek of my next post (aka what I’ve been doing with my summer, so far)

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DAY FOUR: Countdown

I am annoyed by how little progress I’ve made, so far, this summer. And I don’t even know why I’m doing this daily post thing cause’ I’d obviously run out of interesting things to say and just stop this whole thing, but, I guess I did it to make myself more determined to do shit. And I think that’s a fair enough reason to continue this.

So, today at gym, it was really aggravating. I usually cover the part that shows how long you’ve been using the machine cause’ I don’t want to know that I’ve only been working out for five minutes, and yet, so tired already. But oh gods, the thirty minutes I spent on the treadmill felt endless. Physically, my feet were tired of walking fast (6.5 was the speed I was using) and, emotionally, I tried not thinking too much, cause’ over thinking doesn’t lead to anything good.

I could not wait for the 30 minutes to be over. I don’t know why but it felt more draining today, than the first. Although I kept a rather positive way of thinking throughout the whole workout, I really had to push myself into being progressive. I needed to push myself from taking a break every five minutes cause’ that would just make me less used to it and feel like giving up. It really sucks.

Other than gym, I really haven’t started anything this summer. I didn’t get to pick out recipes for me to cook. I haven’t written the concept paper for the tutorial I’m planning to do. I haven’t even watched the anime that I was planning to watch. Gods. I need to start things and I need to start them quickly.

Oh, and for motivational purposes in the future, at the moment, I am 170 pounds. I don’t know my ideal weight though, but I’m aiming a weight loss of at least 20 pounds this whole four months of summer. I sure hope that’s enough and that I could reach that goal weight.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

DAY TWO: Progress

Well, starting gym wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Despite my lack of an actual weight loss workout, I’d say I did pretty okay. I don’t want to think about my remaining days though, since the thought alone drags me down the hills of depression and utter laziness. I’m going to take this one day at a time.

Honestly, going to gym and doing productive stuff really isn’t some movie montage where it progresses all so quickly. Expectations like that will only make it harder for you to continue. To achieve your goals and make good and worthwhile things happen, you really have to work hard for it. It’s alright to take these kind of things slow, since it is hard to adjust to the situation, but make sure that you’re progressing towards your goal, not stationary. I love the quote “If you want something you’ve never had, you need to do something you’ve never done” simply because it’s true.

As for the cooking thing, I’m still browsing for inexpensive and healthy meals that I can cook. Though I still want to focus on the cuisine’s of different countries, I have to watch out for my diet. I am trying to lose weight, after all.

I’m still pretty much a mess, but I’m really glad I took the first step with starting gym, again. I’ll just have to fix everything else at an accelerating pace from now on.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

DAY ONE: Realistic

Realistically speaking, I don’t know shit about anything related to going to the gym, healthy diets, and to losing a heck load of weight within a month or so. I was supposed to start going to gym today, but due to the circumstances, I won’t be able to start today, rather tomorrow. So now,  I’ve been browsing and printing stuff about effective workouts and diets, but it really is like a foreign language to me.

During the previous times that I’ve attempted to go to the gym, I didn’t follow any concrete routine or anything. I just went there, used cardio machines for about an hour, tried lifting some weights, then headed to the sauna. That’s it. I found out that I should be progressing my workout routine every day or every week, but, ugh, I really don’t know.

No one’s pushing me to do all of this though. My parents are content with me just using the machines and going to the sauna, but I really want to see some improvement in my body size, weight, and activeness in doing stuff. Honestly, I’ve been lying around all day, so far, this summer. It’s sickening, really.

I think I badly need a professional trainer or shit, but I don’t think I’m comfortable with the ones in my gym, and it costs a lot of money. Going to the gym alone requires a lot of money, much more with a personal trainer. If only I’d understand the terms and actually have the guts and energy to perform all those shit in the gym, I can do it alone. I can and I will.

I guess I’m going to spend this day planning out the things I will do this summer and fix my room. I need to practice sleeping all by myself, too, since UNIVERSITY.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE