Flash Post 017: Failures & Jenga

So it’s been a month and 12 days since school started and I’m still relatively okay. I’ve failed an exam already and I’m pretty sure I also failed the other exam I took on the same day, BUT I did pass one exam. I know 1 passed exam and 2 failed exams isn’t a particularly good start, but that’s exactly it! It’s only the start of the semester and I can still turn things around! I know I failed because I didn’t study enough, so I’ll make sure to study harder for the coming exams.

It’s my first time using my free internet, so I decided to post a flash post cos’ why not? I don’t really have anything to motivate you guys or to rant about, but I’m writing anyway because I love writing and there isn’t any reason why I shouldn’t write right now.

Well, probably statics, but I can study after I finish this haha.

Yesterday, I realized that Jenga isn’t just a game of stacking wooden blocks and taking pieces of it till’ the tower of blocks eventually crumble. No. It also tells something about love. See, the loser in Jenga is the one who causes the tower to fall down due to their move, while in love, for some people, the loser’s the one who falls first. And it’s a really scary thing to fall, well for me, at least, because you’re suddenly in this state of imbalance in all, or some, aspects of life wherein a single move can break you into pieces.

BUT the good thing about it is that when you fall, it’s not impossible for you to put yourself together again. You’ve got to learn from it and move on. It’s not an easy thing to do, I know, but it’s possible and if Jenga blocks can be stacked back together, so can we. It isn’t the best analogy, but it makes sense.. right?

Well, it’s a good thing I’ve never fallen for someone who does not and will never like me back HAHAHA.. *looks at past posts, especially the ones written by high school me*.. Umm… Well.. at least I’m good at constantly putting myself together again HA..

But seriously, I’ve never fallen THAT hard for someone and I hope that when I do, if I do, I’ll fall for a person that likes me back.

Besides the Jenga logic, I’d also like to give a shout out to all the people who help me get through life one day at a time. To those who help me understand the lessons, who make the class fun by being bubbly and energetic, who sit beside me and occasionally converse with me, who agree to me riding with them even though we’re not that close, to those who agreed to be partners with me (SERIOUS LIFESAVERS RIGHT HERE!!), to the one who I think is trying to reject me in a friendly way, and to everyone else who do seemingly little things that mean a lot to me — THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I should probably make a “Thank you!~” board or something because, really, without my family, friends, and these acquaintances (friends, really, but I don’t know how you feel about me) of mine, I don’t think I’d make it through a day. Seriously.

It might look like I’ve got loads of free time, but I don’t. And I should probably improve my time management skills ASAP. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post “My Favorite Things 00X” soon because I noticed I haven’t written one in a while.

Till’ next time~~~

ALSO, I haven’t slept in class for two days in a row and that’s a record for me already haha. I did have coffee today, but it still counts…

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LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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(Not So Short) Flash Post 016: Never

I just noticed that, before this post, the last flash post (Flash Post 015: Summer Rant) was written a bit more than 2 months ago! Well, I wasn’t able to post anything last July so…

Anyways, I’ve learned an important thing about life recently due to a rather terrible event. I’ve learned that we shouldn’t take time for granted because the time that has already passed is time lost- you can never get it back. Our time here on Earth is very short and uncertain, so be careful how you choose to spend it. It’s an awful feeling to want to go back in time to change things when you can’t.

I’m really no good with time management and prioritizing. I’m easily distracted, forgetful, stubborn, and a bit lazy, to be honest, so basically I’m the worst at time management haha. But I’m working on it (sort of) and I hope what happened yesterday won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.

How do you know if you’re wasting time? Well, for starters, I can tell if I’m wasting time when I know I have something more important to do (usually school-related), but I choose to do something else. You might say that you’re doing something important, as well, BUT let me tell you that cramming lessons for an exam the night before (or even hours before) and cramming a paper MINUTES before the online submission IS NEVER NOT HORRIBLE!! Yes, I’m talking from experience cos’ I’ve done both and I still regret doing so till’ this day (and probably for as long as I live).

So, if you know you’re procrastinating (even if you’re procrastinating by doing something that’s productive, but it isn’t what you’re supposed to be doing), I suggest you stop and face your exam or project HEAD ON. I know it’s easier said than done, like most things, but it’ll be worth doing it. Trust me, you’ll save yourself from utter insanity if you do it earlier than the deadline. Been there, done that… TOO MANY TIMES!!

How to spend time wisely? Write everything down! I’m no good with planners, but I usually keep track of important dates (exams, birthdays, family stuff, etc.) by using the calendar on my phone. Occasionally, I write down a “to-do list” on paper or on a sticky note in my computer, which I should probably do more often. Listing it down makes you aware of everything that has to be done, so I think it’s very helpful, well at least in my case.

My second tip would be to prioritize, like legit prioritizing, and stick to it. I know school stuff isn’t fun to do and you’d rather just binge watch a television series or read a good book BUT you’ve got to put it somewhere on the top of your list to avoid previously warned “utter insanity”. It’s also important to spend time with family and friends, so allot time for that, too. Make sure you’re well-being is also intact- you’re eating healthy, you’ve got your “me” time, you’re okay in all aspects (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, etc.), and you’re happy (WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT). Also, joining an organization, trying new things, and rendering service to your community are very fulfilling activities, so when you’ve got the time, I suggest you engage in such activities, as well.

Lastly, for you to know that you’ve spent your time wisely, I think you should do the things you want to do, given that it doesn’t evade the first two tips. I just think not being able to do so is a waste of your little time here on Earth. Whether it’s choosing the college degree you really want (even if your parents want something else for you) or travelling outside your country and exploring the world. It’s not a waste  if you love what you’re doing (again, given that you’re not evading the first two tips). If you love writing, like me, make the time to write even during your busy schedules. It’s not easy, but I’ve seen people have social lives, pursue their passions, and keep their sanity (most of the time), ALL THE WHILE excelling in school-related stuff. If they can do it, so can we.

You trip and fall down a lot of times in life, but you can learn from these mistakes and become an improved version of yourself. I believe you can. So should you.

ALSO if you’re still thinking of procrastinating and cramming something, even after reading all that I’ve written in this post.. I crammed studying for TWO EXAMS hours before the exams and, trust me, you don’t want to go there. I still don’t know what I got, but I hope you never have to experience such helplessness.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

P.S. I hope you’re not reading this while procrastinating, but if you are, I hope you’ve come to the realization that you should start getting shit done. Now.



Well, I took my statics and statistics exams yesterday and, though I did get to answer some items, I didn’t finish the exam and I don’t know anymore. What I do know is that I should never do that again. Nope. Never again.

I didn’t have classes today, so I ate out with friends and got a haircut. I was thinking of getting a haircut for quite some time now, actually, but this haircut is for the two exams I didn’t properly study for yesterday.

Actually, I think I’d have to cut off all of my hair to represent that one, but this’ll have to do. I’m not heartbroken nor am I going through anything.. I just didn’t study for those exams.

Till’ next time 🙂

Me (The Flash) trying to run faster than my acads (Zoom)

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(Spoiler Alert: The Flash beats Zoom by making a time remnant and if he can beat acads, so can we! ❤ )

 

A Tablespoon of one big mess~

I’m failing at least one class this semester and all but two, at the most. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating about that and this is, for sure, my worst semester in college, regarding academics. I’d like to call this my rock bottom semester cause’ I seriously don’t think any semester could be as remotely bad as this one. This is the last wake up call semester I need for me to do more than get my shit together.

I don’t actually know what I’m gonna do after getting my grades for this semester. I actually don’t know what the consequences of the grades would be, so I don’t know what I can do about it either. But I’ve learned a lot of things this semester, realizing most of it by the end of it, so that’s what this post is going to be about.

1. “Time management is key.” AF

I remember saying that my resolution this year is to manage my time more wisely, but as you can probably infer, I failed horribly. I wasn’t able to manage my time and prioritize the things and ended up procrastinating and cramming everything in the last minute. This tip is probably a cliche for college students, like me, by now, but it’s easier said than done and I, personally, I need to be reminded of this every. single. minute. And more specifically, time management should consider EVERYTHING, such as spontaneous getaways and emergencies. Planning to finish the projects just by the nick of time or planning an all-nighter to finish studying for an exam falls under the poor time management category. Plan and schedule your time in a realistic way, considering, as I said, E V E R Y T H I N G.

2. Study. EVERYDAY FREAKING DAY. 

Okay, so this might sound unreasonable to some,  but I honestly need to study everyday. I sleep usually fall asleep during my classes, which is a terrible habit of mine I’ve had since preschool, so I need to catch up with my lessons by allotting more time in studying. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is I eat dinner while watching something, probably a movie or an episode of KDrama, then I end up finishing it and spending a bit more time relaxing. After a few hours, usually at 9 pm, I start studying, then falling asleep on my desk. HORRIBLE.

So, I really need to allot two to four hours of pure studying each day to catch up and to be able to understand the lesson and to get enough practice. And to not cram chapters worth of lessons in one night, or four hours before an exam.

3. Take GENUINE interest in what you’re learning.

I went to my classes. I tried not to sleep in my classes. I tried studying for my classes. But I honestly didn’t like my classes. If it weren’t required, I wouldn’t have taken the courses I enlisted for this semester. The only class I did like was Accounting and that’s because I’ve been hooked to business since third year high school. So, I think it’s also very important to make yourself interested and passionate about what you’re learning. I know that’s a rather challenging thing to do, especially when you’re pursuing a course that wasn’t your choice, but to make the semester a bit less painful, we’ve gotta try to like the classes we have to stick with for the duration of the semester.

4. Make time for you and your passions, too. 

While school, family, and social life are important, you’re well-being is as important as all of those things. And by making time to make sure you’re well-being is in good condition, I mean to check if your sanity’s still intact, if you’re eating properly and getting close to enough sleep, and if you’re still able to do what you actually are passionate about. Now, when you make time for you, consider the hours of sleep you’d want to have, depending on whether or not it’s a hell week, and squeezing your “relaxation” and leisure activities with the activities related to your passion into a fair amount of time. Because, as I said, I usually get a bit too relaxed and ending up spending more time relaxing than studying.

5. Take a daily dose of positivity! 

It might be hell week and/or things might not be going your way, always remember to keep a positive attitude and look at the brighter side of life. Most times, this is easier said than done, like most things, but it’s essential to get through the semester alive. You need to be happy with yourself, to be thankful for all the blessings you have, and to have a fighting spirit all throughout the semester.

6. Spend your money wisely. 

Although this isn’t school-related, it’s still a lesson I learned during this semester. I’m constantly saving up for something, which is alright, but I’ve got to be wise about how I spend my money. I went to a convention and spent more than a thousand, I bought a stuffed toy for a person I admire a lot, and now I’m saving up for shipping fees, but to me, who loves anime and likes that person, it’s worth it. Though, in the long run, spending my money on those things aren’t exactly wise. I’m working on it and I’m planning to allot a certain percentage of weekly allowance savings to put in the bank, so yay me.

There you have it, six of the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way this semester. I might not be as well put as I’d want to be and I have miles to go before becoming the woman I want to become in the future, but it’s a start and I’m a work in progress, so to the me who’s trying so hard to figure out what she’s gonna do in life, give your best and be passionate about everything you do today and God will reveal His plans to you at the right time.

I hope this post somehow helped you, too, or at the very least, realize that even though this my life’s kinda messy right now, if I’m getting through it with my head held high and I’m slowly trying to apply the lessons I’ve learned from yesterday’s mistakes, then so should you :). And always remember that you are God’s masterpiece. You are beautiful and you make this world brighter. Things might be shitty right now, but please don’t give up and know that I believe that you will get through whatever challenge it is you’re facing.

Till’ the next time~

With so much love, The Girl With The Pen

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

Dancing on a Rainy Day

I’m in my second year of college and I need to get my shit together. Honestly, I’m not doing as well as I had hoped at school this semester. I’ve failed four exams in total, so far (three exams in Math and an exam in Engineering Drawing). I just took my third Engineering Drawing Exam yesterday and I seriously need to pass that in order to pass the class. I have my last long exams in Physics and Math next week, then there’s finals. At this point, I don’t really know anymore.

But what I do know is that I need to put myself back together somehow, at least enough to manage to get through life right now. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not doing what I actually want to do. I’ve been pondering upon my life choices- from why I caved into my sleepiness the night before to why I chose engineering and my university in the first place. I’m at a very confusing point in my life, really. But I can’t back out now because that would be considered quitting and I am no quitter. Besides, it’s the practical thing to do. No one forced me to take up my course or to go to the university I’m attending, but I really didn’t know what I was in for and now there’s expectations that come with it.

Anyways! The reason why this post it titled “Dancing on a Rainy Day” is because I planned to make this an optimistic post! A post-ivity! (HAHAHA) since I haven’t been posting very much recently and my previous posts are a bunch of rants like how I started this post. I’ve just been going through a lot and writing it in this blog somehow makes me feel better so yay!

When I failed my fourth exam in Math (I failed 3/4 exams I’ve taken in the course), my professor asked me if I was nervous during the exam. Of course I said yes because who wouldn’t be scared during an exam? So then he told me that that was the main reason why students don’t do well- fear. I thought it was just usual, but apparently, you could actually not feel fear during exams. I still don’t know how, but I took his words to heart. I started going to the lecture and discussion classes with a positive attitude towards Math. It’s not easy, at all, but I’m faking it till’ I make it- till’ I make myself believe that I understand the lessons and that I can do it. It’s actually working because instead of giving up completely at the sight of limits and natural logarithms, I treat it as a challenge and hype myself up by accepting it.

I’ve forgotten how my attitude towards things have a huge impact in my life- to my future. I’m really stubborn and forgetful, so it’s difficult for me to learn from my mistakes. It’s hard to change. I can’t explain it very well, but I guess we all have some aspects of ourselves that we want to improve, so I guess you get my point. But as the quote goes, “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done”. Aside from faking it, taking the first step to becoming a better version of yourself is another thing you should do to be able to change for the better.

I admit that I wasn’t able to do my best this semester. I gave myself too many breaks because I thought I deserved it after a tiring day. During some trials, I thought I couldn’t do it so I let myself give up. And that’s not right. The past me, both elementary and high school would be disappointed with how I am now. And this is not how I want myself to be. I’ve always dreamed to become a very successful, smart, strong, and independent woman in the future. I really need to get my shit together.

So yes, I need to learn how to dance in the rain- to be positive amidst life’s challenges. I have to figure out how to prioritize things and manage my time more wisely. I need to venture through the different opportunities of how I can follow my passion in writing and how to grow as a writer, despite the several things I see as nuisances and hindrances to it. In rainy days like this, pessimism isn’t going to help, so might as well be this positive idiot than be down about it.

Till’ next time~

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Some People Just Aren’t Worth It

It’s summer. I haven’t seen you in 7 months. I miss you.

But you blow me off, yet again. By this time, I should be used to it.

It’s my mistake. It’s my fault for wanting to hang out with you.

I’m better of making an effort for those who actually deserve it.

Because you obviously don’t.

And you’re not even worth writing a decent post about.

 

(note: i admit i can be really clingy, sentimental, and annoying (to some degree), but i’m done apologizing for that. i’m just a bit hurt, but as i said, it’s all my fault, not yours. thanks for making me realize that what i’m doing is a waste of time. now i know. thank you.)

Someday we’ll know…

As an avid reader of romantic novels and shoujo manga, I’ve grown to love the idea of “love”, referring to romantic relationships. I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I read a very sweet line or when something good happens to the main characters. I can’t stop reading until I’m finished with it. And even after that, I re-read about a dozen times, only going back to the favorite parts though. I think about how nice it must be to be in a relationship with someone you love and loves you back- waiting for each other, going on dates, giving each other presents, and the like.

And as an avid reader, I also know that with all those wonderful things come with pain, sacrifice, and the risk of getting heartbroken. I think loving someone means giving them all of you and you accepting all of that person (yes, I love the song, okay?). That’s a lot to ask for from people. And being in a relationship requires time, effort, commitment, and loads of other stuff.

What’s my point? Well, I don’t think people shouldn’t rush in falling in love. It’s really difficult to give all of yourself when you’re not ready yet. Before you fall in love with another person, you’ve got to have already established a strong love for yourself and I don’t mean in a narcissistic way, rather in a way where no matter who leaves you and who hurts you, you won’t lose yourself and be strong enough to continue living, even if you’re alone.

And timing is also very important. You can fall in love with the right one at the wrong time and it won’t work out. You’ve got to make at least enough time and effort for that special person, or else you might drift apart. If what you two have is really love, I believe that both of you can wait for one another. If you truly love each other, you’re going to grow together and when the right time comes, when both of you are mature enough to make the right decisions for yourselves, it’s going to be magical.

Personally, I think it’s a hassle to date while being students. It could just be me, but I’ll put it out here all the same. A relationship just asks for so much of a person and I don’t think I can comply. But, to those couples who make it work, even if they’re just students, I truly salute you. I salute the way you guys balance acads, love, family, social life, sleep, family, and all those other stuff. I believe that as long as you love each other and make the time and effort, you will get through it. I think that way, you get to know your partner more, actually, cause’ you get to do academic-related stuff together, stress through hell weeks together,and what not.

I’m a hopeless romantic and an optimistic and as long as it’s really love, I believe in it.

 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

(I JUST FINISHED HEROINE SHIKKAKU AND I HAVE A CHEM EXAM TOMORROW! HA HA HA.. IN OTHER NEWS, THE CROWN WILL BE RELEASED ON TUESDAY!! AHHH!!

Oh, and I have 0 experience in being in a relationship, so I don’t know what really goes on. I just read a lot of novels and manga to know enough, I think. Enough to not want to be in a relationship while I’m still in college. Hassle. AND IT’S NOT LIKE ANYONE WOULD COURT ME ANYWAYS, RIGHT? I FIND IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANY GUY TO COURT ME AS I AM NOW. Makes me curious as to how I’ll actually find a guy who loves me when I’m older HAHAHA.

AND IF EVER I OFFENDED ANYONE, I’M TRULY TRULY SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL IN YOUR LIVES.)

 

 

How am I supposed to do this?

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Ever since I was in sixth grade, I’ve known exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve known where I wanted to attend college, what kind of job I wanted to have, how I wanted my own house to look like, so on and so forth. Up to this day, I’d say that those dreams of my twelve year old self helped me to reach my goals and to be where I am right now- attending my dream university.

I never really got my copy of the life manual, so up until now, I’ve just been doing things how I thought I should do them. I’m stubborn. I sleep late. I don’t follow my own advice. And right now, I’m just really scared that because of how I live my life right now, my future might not be as bright as I’ve always wanted it to be. Like, what if I die even before my life begins because I’ve been sleeping too late and I’ve been too careless with my health? How is that going to work out for me?

I know I’m being really pessimistic right now and my parents would totally scold me if they read this, but it’s still a possibility, isn’t it? How am I supposed to live my life doing everything I want to do while also doing everything I need to do? How can I enjoy my life, even during weekdays, when all I can manage to do right now is to catch up with school-related stuff? I want to have fun as much as I can during the weekends, but doing everything that isn’t fun last minute just makes it less fun. Where am I supposed to live in this?

Am I making any sense? Well, the point is that I am horrible, to say the least, at time management. It’s just hard to keep myself from doing the things I really like doing, so that I can do the things that I need to be doing. I guess I’m not the only one suffering from this, since I’m pretty sure most people my age struggle with the same thing, but I am the one who has a blog and who over thinks almost everything, so yeah.

See, I just don’t want to sleep without knowing I made the most out of the day. I don’t want to die without knowing I made the most out of my life. I really don’t know how to do either of that, really, but I just don’t want to end up missing the weekends when I get back to school, to the dorm, and I don’t want to end up not leaving a positive impact in this world. I’m selfish. I want to be remembered and missed by many.

How am I supposed to do this?

(Note: Am I going to die soon? My hair is falling out. My memory loss is getting worse. I think I might have short-term memory loss and my attention span is horrible. I’m still very much awkward, although I’d say that I have somehow managed to improve a bit. I’m not assertive enough and I can’t stand up, much less speak up, for myself very often. HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON I WANT TO BE IN THE FUTURE?!? I feel lost, really.

Oh, and the featured image aka the image above this post isn’t mine. I just found it in Google. Credits to the rightful owner 🙂 )

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE