A Tablespoon of one big mess~

I’m failing at least one class this semester and all but two, at the most. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating about that and this is, for sure, my worst semester in college, regarding academics. I’d like to call this my rock bottom semester cause’ I seriously don’t think any semester could be as remotely bad as this one. This is the last wake up call semester I need for me to do more than get my shit together.

I don’t actually know what I’m gonna do after getting my grades for this semester. I actually don’t know what the consequences of the grades would be, so I don’t know what I can do about it either. But I’ve learned a lot of things this semester, realizing most of it by the end of it, so that’s what this post is going to be about.

1. “Time management is key.” AF

I remember saying that my resolution this year is to manage my time more wisely, but as you can probably infer, I failed horribly. I wasn’t able to manage my time and prioritize the things and ended up procrastinating and cramming everything in the last minute. This tip is probably a cliche for college students, like me, by now, but it’s easier said than done and I, personally, I need to be reminded of this every. single. minute. And more specifically, time management should consider EVERYTHING, such as spontaneous getaways and emergencies. Planning to finish the projects just by the nick of time or planning an all-nighter to finish studying for an exam falls under the poor time management category. Plan and schedule your time in a realistic way, considering, as I said, E V E R Y T H I N G.

2. Study. EVERYDAY FREAKING DAY. 

Okay, so this might sound unreasonable to some,  but I honestly need to study everyday. I sleep usually fall asleep during my classes, which is a terrible habit of mine I’ve had since preschool, so I need to catch up with my lessons by allotting more time in studying. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is I eat dinner while watching something, probably a movie or an episode of KDrama, then I end up finishing it and spending a bit more time relaxing. After a few hours, usually at 9 pm, I start studying, then falling asleep on my desk. HORRIBLE.

So, I really need to allot two to four hours of pure studying each day to catch up and to be able to understand the lesson and to get enough practice. And to not cram chapters worth of lessons in one night, or four hours before an exam.

3. Take GENUINE interest in what you’re learning.

I went to my classes. I tried not to sleep in my classes. I tried studying for my classes. But I honestly didn’t like my classes. If it weren’t required, I wouldn’t have taken the courses I enlisted for this semester. The only class I did like was Accounting and that’s because I’ve been hooked to business since third year high school. So, I think it’s also very important to make yourself interested and passionate about what you’re learning. I know that’s a rather challenging thing to do, especially when you’re pursuing a course that wasn’t your choice, but to make the semester a bit less painful, we’ve gotta try to like the classes we have to stick with for the duration of the semester.

4. Make time for you and your passions, too. 

While school, family, and social life are important, you’re well-being is as important as all of those things. And by making time to make sure you’re well-being is in good condition, I mean to check if your sanity’s still intact, if you’re eating properly and getting close to enough sleep, and if you’re still able to do what you actually are passionate about. Now, when you make time for you, consider the hours of sleep you’d want to have, depending on whether or not it’s a hell week, and squeezing your “relaxation” and leisure activities with the activities related to your passion into a fair amount of time. Because, as I said, I usually get a bit too relaxed and ending up spending more time relaxing than studying.

5. Take a daily dose of positivity! 

It might be hell week and/or things might not be going your way, always remember to keep a positive attitude and look at the brighter side of life. Most times, this is easier said than done, like most things, but it’s essential to get through the semester alive. You need to be happy with yourself, to be thankful for all the blessings you have, and to have a fighting spirit all throughout the semester.

6. Spend your money wisely. 

Although this isn’t school-related, it’s still a lesson I learned during this semester. I’m constantly saving up for something, which is alright, but I’ve got to be wise about how I spend my money. I went to a convention and spent more than a thousand, I bought a stuffed toy for a person I admire a lot, and now I’m saving up for shipping fees, but to me, who loves anime and likes that person, it’s worth it. Though, in the long run, spending my money on those things aren’t exactly wise. I’m working on it and I’m planning to allot a certain percentage of weekly allowance savings to put in the bank, so yay me.

There you have it, six of the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way this semester. I might not be as well put as I’d want to be and I have miles to go before becoming the woman I want to become in the future, but it’s a start and I’m a work in progress, so to the me who’s trying so hard to figure out what she’s gonna do in life, give your best and be passionate about everything you do today and God will reveal His plans to you at the right time.

I hope this post somehow helped you, too, or at the very least, realize that even though this my life’s kinda messy right now, if I’m getting through it with my head held high and I’m slowly trying to apply the lessons I’ve learned from yesterday’s mistakes, then so should you :). And always remember that you are God’s masterpiece. You are beautiful and you make this world brighter. Things might be shitty right now, but please don’t give up and know that I believe that you will get through whatever challenge it is you’re facing.

Till’ the next time~

With so much love, The Girl With The Pen

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Flash Post 008: How?

Haven’t written here in a while, mainly because of my hectic schedule and my lack of inspiration (basically, the usual). It’s only been a month and four days into my second year of college and it’s already quite the struggle. It really shouldn’t be and for most people it isn’t, but it is for me because

  1. I’m horrible at time management and prioritizing.
  2. I fall asleep almost all the time (during classes and while I’m studying).
  3. I’m a really slow learner and I forget things easily.

And those are only few of the many reasons why my life right now is worse than it really should be. It’s really frustrating, to be honest. Because of my shortcomings, I’ve been constantly asking people to assist me and/or tutor me with most of the stuff. They’re the best and I’m really grateful for all their help. But sometimes it depresses me to think that I’m frequently depending on them and I feel kind of inferior and indebted to them. Like I’m always asking for their help, but what can offer them? I’m not sure whether you understand, but it’s like wanting to give back for all that they’ve given you, but not knowing how to exactly do that.

It’s sad. It’s sad, but I don’t actually know how to fix it. How do I fix my problem with prioritizing things? How do I avoid sleeping in class? How can I make it through the week with doing everything right while also having time for myself to avoid exploding? Theoretically, I know what needs to be done, but how do I fix me?

 

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I’m Falling to Pieces

(Warning: This particular blog post is a complete rant post and I doubt that I’ll be able to write any inspirational shit, even towards the end, so I suggest you read some other post of mine. If you want to read a shitty rant about an university student’s confusion, be my guest.)

So, it’s only been a month and two days into my second semester attending college and I’m an absolute wreck. I honestly don’t know how to proceed with life anymore. I have a Chemistry exam on Monday, a Physics exam next next Monday, and a Math exam next next Wednesday, above everything else. Not to mention that I’m so far behind on my lessons because I’m a student who’s a slow learner and a poor time manager. It’s the worse combination, trust me.

I don’t even know where to begin, at this point in time. I’m stuck in this vortex of hopelessness, stuck between wanting to do the things I want to do and knowing that I have to do the things I need to do. I hope I’m making sense, but who cares.

I know that it’s not the end yet, heck it’s only the beginning, but I don’t know how. I don’t know how to balance it all out. I’ve been settling for what I think I could manage to do every day, but by doing just that won’t get me to the future that I want to be in- a future where I’m an independent strong reliable woman who knows and loves what she does. WITH WHO I AM NOW, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO TO ACHIEVE THAT, HUH?

And, of course, I know the answer to that: I have to work my lazy ass off studying my lessons every day, so that I know what’s up and not struggle to catch up. I need to manage my time more efficiently to be able to do both the things I want to do and the things I need to do. I need to prioritize my to-do list, so I’d know which ones to do first. I have to actually follow my to-do list, so I won’t have to end up cramming everything at the last minute. I have to listen to my mother (because I’ve realized that the cliche saying is actually true- mother knows best, I swear it’s 100% proven, well at least to my mom).

I have to get my shit together because nothing good is going to come out of me not doing my best. Settling isn’t enough. I have to push myself to be able to achieve the goals that I’ve set for myself. It’s my fucking life and I need to get my act straight. If I continue things as it is, I won’t be a better person, I won’t be able to make a positive impact in the world, I won’t have the future that I’ve always dreamed and worked hard for, and everything else that I won’t be able to do and I won’t have JUST because I was unable to fix my life. I’m shattered and I need to somehow get all the pieces of myself back together.

(Note: HAHAHA.. this post is basically a shitty rant, so there’s no need for a note, really. It’s just depressing. I’m a very forgetful person, I forget how shitty I felt and how shitty I feel and end up continuing the shitty feeling. And it’s even worse cause’ it’s 2 AM and I’m still fucking awake. Goodbye for now.)

 

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Hickory Dickory Dock

Personally, nowadays it feels like there’s never enough time. My weekdays are taken over by assignments, readings, and exams. Aside from that, although I don’t have that much extra-curricular stuff going on, I still have a few and that’s another thing to allot time for. Weekends are my pit stops or my momentary break, before repeating the cycle, that prevents me from exploding due to everything. But, of course, I can only squeeze so much time for family, myself, and recreation over the weekends because, despite it being the weekends, I still have a bunch of work to do. Sure, it may sound like I’m complaining and ranting and I know I don’t really have the right to do that since a lot of people have it a lot worse, but this isn’t my actual point in this post.

I believe that time is more valuable than money. Why? Well, because, unlike money, you can’t earn time. You can never get back the time you’ve already lost. Also, we, humans, only have a limited amount of time in this world. The worst part of that is that we don’t know the limit until we’ve reached it, otherwise known as death. It could range from a minute to fifty years from now! We can take the time we have right now for granted, not knowing when our last breath would be. Once you’re dead, you’re dead.

But death isn’t the point either. Death is inevitable. Eventually, everyone will die and everything will be swallowed into oblivion. What matters most is what you do with that short amount of time that has been granted to you. It’s that hyphen between the dates of our birth and death where we lived our lives the way we did. It’s what we do during that time that defines who we were.

Now, let me ask you, what are the most important people/things to you? What are your dreams and passions? These aren’t questions that could be answered quickly, so just contemplate upon them for a bit.

As I said, it feels as though there’s not enough time, and there might never be, so don’t panic or fear the lack of time. It’s probably always going to be that way. What you should really think about is how you spend the time you have and you can do that by knowing what has to be done and prioritizing them according to how important they are to you.

School and work wrecks this seemingly ideal system, don’t they? But, instead of thinking of them as stuff that you’re required to do in order to pass or earn money, think of them as stepping stones. I know it might sound funny, but when I was in my first year of high school, I had this chain thing where it said something like “homework – quiz – final exam – grade – *insert dream university here*”. For me, back then, it was a chain of events that eventually leads to the effect of whether or not I get into my dream university. I now know that it kinda commits a slippery slope fallacy, but it still has a point- that everything you do right now affects your future. So, yeah, you might think that a lot of other stuff are important than school and work and you’d rather do them instead, but wouldn’t it be better investing your time into your future?

But, of course, I’m not saying that everything else isn’t important. I just wanted to explain first that school and work aren’t just consuming your time for nothing, rather it’s an investment. Now, moving on to the other stuff.

Family Time. I can only write about this from my perspective because I don’t know how anyone else feels about their family, so if you don’t agree with what I write, feel free to skip ahead or read my other posts. So, this kind of time is something really important to me. Now that I’m attending college, I don’t get to spend as much time with my family as I used to. And I’m that type of person that doesn’t want to miss out on chances to play with my siblings, have real talk with my parents, and the like. I won’t live forever and neither will they. They are the most important people in my life and, though I forget and I act immature sometimes, I don’t want to regret not saying “I love you” enough, to regret not hugging or kissing them enough, and to regret not spending enough time with them to make us all feel loved.

Friends. Besides family, these are the people that you love the most. They are the ones that you share happy and crazy moments with and also, of course, sad and ugly moments, too. So it’s important to make time for these people to be able to satisfy your social needs and sanity.

“Me” Time. Of course you also need time for yourself. A time to reflect upon your words, actions, and other deep philosophical thoughts. This is the time wherein you can enjoy doing what you love (aka passions). This time could be while you’re walking alone to class or when you have actual free time to write, paint, dance, or whatever your passion is.

Recreational Time. I think this is different from “me” time because this is mostly the time where you do your hobbies, rather than your passions. Personally, this is my time for anime, reading, watching movies, so on and so forth.

And that’s basically it. There’s loads more of things that you need to make time for, but those are the only things I can think of, at the moment. Hopefully, I’ve made my point and have successfully conveyed it to you. I l also hope I’ve helped you somehow with life and time management. Personally, I still currently such at it, myself, but I try (hahaha). In fact, I still have to study for an exam in Math and prepare for a debate. Ugh. Well, don’t be like me and prioritize your time better, okay? Until next time!

P.S. The featured image is “The Persistence of Memory” by Salvador Dali

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