MERRY (ALMOST) CHRISTMAS!!!

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IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF THE TWELFTH MONTH OF MY 19TH YEAR ON EARTH AND OH MY GOSH CAN YOU FEEL THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?!?!

No? Well, I can, despite having about 15 days of school left. I haven’t really felt Christmas-y in a while (since I entered college, I think) so I’d say it’s a good thing to feel all warm and happy this time of the year.

Hmmm.. not as warm and as happy as I’d like to be, but the sun’s still shining and life is still (and will always be) beautiful.

Like me. HA. 

I just passed my extra homework a few minutes ago and I’m happily writing away inside our school library. It’s nice being able to write after finishing what has to be finished.. even though I wasn’t able to get all of the items. I should really do this more often.

I felt like writing a blog post the day before yesterday, but the title included the phrase “This is NOT a Decent Post” and I started ranting about a lot of things that make me sad, so I decided to stop and just go home.

I still have a class later and a lot of exams during the next two weeks, but for now, I can write and that’s good enough for me.



Happy December, everyone! I hope you’re having a wonderful day to start the month! If you’re not having such a good day, always remember that “Everyday might not be a good day, but there’s always something good in every day” and that you (YES YOU!) are a beautiful human being to whom God has given the gift of life for a special purpose. You might not know it yet (HECK I DON’T EVEN KNOW IT YET.. I THINK), but there is such a reason and you’re future will be amazing.

Personally, I have a lot to be thankful for and happy about! I’m studying in my dream university, taking up a course that I kinda like, surrounded by really awesome people, and having two (literal) places to call home (both with delicious food and sufficient WiFi!). So, this December, I’d like to focus on the positive things in my life and deal with the not-so positive stuff in a positive way!

Hopefully, I’d be able to post my new “My Favorite Things” board soon (probably a bit after the end of this semester). I’d also like to post something like an appreciation post for everyone who make my day better than okay (YAY!), a post reminiscing all the memorable moments this 2017, and a new year’s post posted a few minutes before 2018. HEY! THIS BLOG WILL HAVE SO MUCH STUFF GOING ON THIS DECEMBER! WOOH!

Honestly, 2017 has been a messy mix of good things and bad things, as most years should be, I think. It’s not easy being a year older than 18 cause’ it makes me a year shy of being 20 years and old and that’s just a bit too much to take in right now.

I still have a long way to go in the road of being the woman I’d like to become in the future. And sometimes, the stuff that my mom says, when we fight, get to me, to the point of me actually believing that it’s true, so that’s kinda sad. But I’m a work-in-progress and if I can’t believe it and my mom can’t believe it either, then what hope do I have?

I suddenly just thought of another post idea! I should probably write something for myself as a reminder of a lot of things.. because.. as I said.. I’M FORGETFUL AND STUBBORN AF.. aside from other things.



So there you have it! A kind of messy, but really happy, post to start this December! I’m pretty sure I’ll be busy these next two weeks, so I might not be able to post here, but always remember to…

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. ❤

 

P.S. Y A Y

P.P.S. IT’S SNOWING!!!

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A Tablespoon of one big mess~

I’m failing at least one class this semester and all but two, at the most. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating about that and this is, for sure, my worst semester in college, regarding academics. I’d like to call this my rock bottom semester cause’ I seriously don’t think any semester could be as remotely bad as this one. This is the last wake up call semester I need for me to do more than get my shit together.

I don’t actually know what I’m gonna do after getting my grades for this semester. I actually don’t know what the consequences of the grades would be, so I don’t know what I can do about it either. But I’ve learned a lot of things this semester, realizing most of it by the end of it, so that’s what this post is going to be about.

1. “Time management is key.” AF

I remember saying that my resolution this year is to manage my time more wisely, but as you can probably infer, I failed horribly. I wasn’t able to manage my time and prioritize the things and ended up procrastinating and cramming everything in the last minute. This tip is probably a cliche for college students, like me, by now, but it’s easier said than done and I, personally, I need to be reminded of this every. single. minute. And more specifically, time management should consider EVERYTHING, such as spontaneous getaways and emergencies. Planning to finish the projects just by the nick of time or planning an all-nighter to finish studying for an exam falls under the poor time management category. Plan and schedule your time in a realistic way, considering, as I said, E V E R Y T H I N G.

2. Study. EVERYDAY FREAKING DAY. 

Okay, so this might sound unreasonable to some,  but I honestly need to study everyday. I sleep usually fall asleep during my classes, which is a terrible habit of mine I’ve had since preschool, so I need to catch up with my lessons by allotting more time in studying. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is I eat dinner while watching something, probably a movie or an episode of KDrama, then I end up finishing it and spending a bit more time relaxing. After a few hours, usually at 9 pm, I start studying, then falling asleep on my desk. HORRIBLE.

So, I really need to allot two to four hours of pure studying each day to catch up and to be able to understand the lesson and to get enough practice. And to not cram chapters worth of lessons in one night, or four hours before an exam.

3. Take GENUINE interest in what you’re learning.

I went to my classes. I tried not to sleep in my classes. I tried studying for my classes. But I honestly didn’t like my classes. If it weren’t required, I wouldn’t have taken the courses I enlisted for this semester. The only class I did like was Accounting and that’s because I’ve been hooked to business since third year high school. So, I think it’s also very important to make yourself interested and passionate about what you’re learning. I know that’s a rather challenging thing to do, especially when you’re pursuing a course that wasn’t your choice, but to make the semester a bit less painful, we’ve gotta try to like the classes we have to stick with for the duration of the semester.

4. Make time for you and your passions, too. 

While school, family, and social life are important, you’re well-being is as important as all of those things. And by making time to make sure you’re well-being is in good condition, I mean to check if your sanity’s still intact, if you’re eating properly and getting close to enough sleep, and if you’re still able to do what you actually are passionate about. Now, when you make time for you, consider the hours of sleep you’d want to have, depending on whether or not it’s a hell week, and squeezing your “relaxation” and leisure activities with the activities related to your passion into a fair amount of time. Because, as I said, I usually get a bit too relaxed and ending up spending more time relaxing than studying.

5. Take a daily dose of positivity! 

It might be hell week and/or things might not be going your way, always remember to keep a positive attitude and look at the brighter side of life. Most times, this is easier said than done, like most things, but it’s essential to get through the semester alive. You need to be happy with yourself, to be thankful for all the blessings you have, and to have a fighting spirit all throughout the semester.

6. Spend your money wisely. 

Although this isn’t school-related, it’s still a lesson I learned during this semester. I’m constantly saving up for something, which is alright, but I’ve got to be wise about how I spend my money. I went to a convention and spent more than a thousand, I bought a stuffed toy for a person I admire a lot, and now I’m saving up for shipping fees, but to me, who loves anime and likes that person, it’s worth it. Though, in the long run, spending my money on those things aren’t exactly wise. I’m working on it and I’m planning to allot a certain percentage of weekly allowance savings to put in the bank, so yay me.

There you have it, six of the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way this semester. I might not be as well put as I’d want to be and I have miles to go before becoming the woman I want to become in the future, but it’s a start and I’m a work in progress, so to the me who’s trying so hard to figure out what she’s gonna do in life, give your best and be passionate about everything you do today and God will reveal His plans to you at the right time.

I hope this post somehow helped you, too, or at the very least, realize that even though this my life’s kinda messy right now, if I’m getting through it with my head held high and I’m slowly trying to apply the lessons I’ve learned from yesterday’s mistakes, then so should you :). And always remember that you are God’s masterpiece. You are beautiful and you make this world brighter. Things might be shitty right now, but please don’t give up and know that I believe that you will get through whatever challenge it is you’re facing.

Till’ the next time~

With so much love, The Girl With The Pen

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

Dancing on a Rainy Day

I’m in my second year of college and I need to get my shit together. Honestly, I’m not doing as well as I had hoped at school this semester. I’ve failed four exams in total, so far (three exams in Math and an exam in Engineering Drawing). I just took my third Engineering Drawing Exam yesterday and I seriously need to pass that in order to pass the class. I have my last long exams in Physics and Math next week, then there’s finals. At this point, I don’t really know anymore.

But what I do know is that I need to put myself back together somehow, at least enough to manage to get through life right now. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not doing what I actually want to do. I’ve been pondering upon my life choices- from why I caved into my sleepiness the night before to why I chose engineering and my university in the first place. I’m at a very confusing point in my life, really. But I can’t back out now because that would be considered quitting and I am no quitter. Besides, it’s the practical thing to do. No one forced me to take up my course or to go to the university I’m attending, but I really didn’t know what I was in for and now there’s expectations that come with it.

Anyways! The reason why this post it titled “Dancing on a Rainy Day” is because I planned to make this an optimistic post! A post-ivity! (HAHAHA) since I haven’t been posting very much recently and my previous posts are a bunch of rants like how I started this post. I’ve just been going through a lot and writing it in this blog somehow makes me feel better so yay!

When I failed my fourth exam in Math (I failed 3/4 exams I’ve taken in the course), my professor asked me if I was nervous during the exam. Of course I said yes because who wouldn’t be scared during an exam? So then he told me that that was the main reason why students don’t do well- fear. I thought it was just usual, but apparently, you could actually not feel fear during exams. I still don’t know how, but I took his words to heart. I started going to the lecture and discussion classes with a positive attitude towards Math. It’s not easy, at all, but I’m faking it till’ I make it- till’ I make myself believe that I understand the lessons and that I can do it. It’s actually working because instead of giving up completely at the sight of limits and natural logarithms, I treat it as a challenge and hype myself up by accepting it.

I’ve forgotten how my attitude towards things have a huge impact in my life- to my future. I’m really stubborn and forgetful, so it’s difficult for me to learn from my mistakes. It’s hard to change. I can’t explain it very well, but I guess we all have some aspects of ourselves that we want to improve, so I guess you get my point. But as the quote goes, “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done”. Aside from faking it, taking the first step to becoming a better version of yourself is another thing you should do to be able to change for the better.

I admit that I wasn’t able to do my best this semester. I gave myself too many breaks because I thought I deserved it after a tiring day. During some trials, I thought I couldn’t do it so I let myself give up. And that’s not right. The past me, both elementary and high school would be disappointed with how I am now. And this is not how I want myself to be. I’ve always dreamed to become a very successful, smart, strong, and independent woman in the future. I really need to get my shit together.

So yes, I need to learn how to dance in the rain- to be positive amidst life’s challenges. I have to figure out how to prioritize things and manage my time more wisely. I need to venture through the different opportunities of how I can follow my passion in writing and how to grow as a writer, despite the several things I see as nuisances and hindrances to it. In rainy days like this, pessimism isn’t going to help, so might as well be this positive idiot than be down about it.

Till’ next time~

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Live

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My life right now is basically me trying to survive the week and waiting for the weekends and for exciting future events, such as birthdays and breaks, to happen. Weekdays have become such a negative connotation to me. I feel so depressed during Monday evenings knowing that I have to go back there again and start a whole new week at school. I don’t even remember when I started thinking this way. It’s probably because I treat my life there and my life here as two separate entities. And I view my life here, comfortably at home, as the better life compared to the former. But, that’s just plain wrong.

I am desperately trying to figure out how I’m going to deal with this. Trust me, when you’re battling with yourself on how you’re going to go about life, it’s really frustrating. Everything’s easier said than done! Honestly, I’m a stubborn and lazy idiot. But, the least that I could do is try, right? No good would come out from giving up on yourself.

So, I’ve sort of found a way to at least accept how life is and that’s by choosing to be happy and to live life no matter how hard the circumstances might seem. Happiness isn’t found somewhere or someday. It isn’t limited to weekends, to romantic relationships, to physical beauty, or WHATEVER! It’s a choice that you have to make- the choice to be happy even though life isn’t going your way, even though you’re down on your luck, even though you’re all alone and everything seems so wrong. It definitely isn’t an easy choice, heck it’s a fucking hard one, but you’re so much better off making it.

Don’t wait for those “happy days” where life is perfect because it is never going to happen. There’s still those possibilities that you’ll be disappointed and heartbroken because those plans don’t push through. And it’s like you’ve limited your happiness to those days. It shouldn’t be like that. You shouldn’t be stuck with wanting to live those moments forever (even when it’s already past) and with waiting for more of those days. You deserve so much more than that! You deserve to live your life! You deserve to be happy.

Make the best out of what life throws at you. Staying at a dorm or apartment away from home? Make stuff that would make it a bit more home-y for you, make friends with your roommates by eating out and studying for exams together, and remember why you’re there in the first place (I’d assume it’s for school or work which, in either way, is to pursue greater heights, right?). Studying for exams? Remember why you’re trying so hard, why you even started. Feeling tired and uninspired, to the point where you feel like exploding? It’s okay to take a break every now and then, you know? Do stuff that relax you, such as going for a run, watching 1-2 episodes of your favorite show/anime, sleeping, listening to music, and the like. And, being a Roman Catholic, I believe that I can relax and continue with life by trusting my life to God and knowing he has plans for me, that he would never leave me nor forsake me, and that he wouldn’t give me anything that he knows I can’t take.

Hold on to happiness and never let it go, even when life seems too rough. Please. My wish for you is to be happy because you deserve to be and isn’t it the best feeling in the world? Happiness brings love to oneself and to others. Love brings peace and peace is exactly what we need now. Be happy. Share the love. Bring peace.

(Note: Although I’ve already finished a semester (aka 5 months), I’m still having some trouble getting used to college life. I look too forward to weekends that I just barely survive the weekdays. And it feels awful. I can’t imagine myself continuing this life for at least 4 more years if I keep thinking like this. I hope I can re-read these posts and change my way of thinking from a negative to a positive one. I need to.

I hope this post somehow helped you, too. Feel free to comment whatever you want. I like talking to people, though I really don’t look like it. Well, good luck! ‘Till next time! 🙂 )

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

 

To the person who is reading this right now..

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Everything is always a choice. No one could make these choices for you because they won’t be the one to suffer the consequences that might go with it, you’d be the one. Happiness doesn’t just come to people, it is a choice people must make. It’s like choosing between being content with what you have and who you are or filling yourself up with sadness and insecurity by comparing yourself with others.

Wouldn’t it be sad if you’d just kept thinking about what other people think of you? While simply walking in front of a group of people, you’d feel sick and insecure. Your confidence level would be in an all time low and your self-esteem wouldn’t be that high. 

Why do that to yourself? As I said, everything is a damn choice and no one could control you. You can do whatever you want to do, as long as it’s legal. Don’t expect people to put you up because most of them are too busy putting their own selves up. Be you, that unique person that God made. 

Love yourself for who you are and what you can do. In the future, you could use your talents for something amazing. No talents? Impossible. You might not know it but there is always something. 

And for contentment? Stop looking and comparing yourself and what you have to other people and what they have. Everyone has flaws, even those who seem to be perfect. Love those who love you back and be thankful for what you have, because a lot of people might not have the pleasure and honor of having it.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE