Flash Post 036: 11 Hours

It’s 3:22 am and I’m currently studying for an exam I have today which will start at 12:30 pm. I’ve already finished two exams this week and this is my last exam for the week, so I’m pretty happy that I’m still relatively alive and sane right now.

Might as well write that I’ve (sort of) given up on this class since before the second long exam WHICH isn’t something ANYONE should do. At that point in time, I still had two long exams and a final exam that could really still boost my grades up. After that, I decided to invest my effort on the classes which I still might have a chance at getting a high grade by the end  of the semester. Long story short, I’ve decided that the class was a lost cause and my performance in that class continued to go downhill from there.

UNTIL last Thursday when my professor told me that I might still have a chance at at least passing the class. I’m not really sure why he’s that optimistic (yes, at least passing is a VERY optimistic thought for someone who’s given up), but I might as well give it a chance and, as my mom would always say, it’s not over till’ it’s over.

How am I cramming WEEKS worth of knowledge and understanding into approximately NINE hours before the exam, well I’m trying to really understand the processes since my professor told me it’s pretty mechanical. Youtube videos of the lessons are very helpful and HOPEFULLY I could give it my best effort, or at least the best effort I could manage at this point in time.

You might be wondering (or not) why I still have the time (and nerve) to write a blog post if I’m super busy studying for the exam, it’s because I need to keep myself awake for the next nine hours (well, 11 hours.. counting the exam.. because I shouldn’t fall asleep.. DURING THE EXAM!) and writing is helping me not only by keeping me awake, but it’s also very enjoyable to be able to express my raw (unprocessed..?) thoughts here again after so long.

And, after all that’s happened, I think I’m back to square five (aka 20% progress). I just don’t see the point of having to make an effort to move on when, after a few clarifications about things, there’s no real reason to do so. It’s true that I’m still (a bit) awkward, that we’re most likely going to be nothing but good friends (hopefully, great friends) in the near (and a bit far) future, and that I still like him, but THAT’S okay and whatever will be will be, I guess. THANKFULLY, it’s still not awkward, in general, and I hope it never does. If you’re reading this (not likely, but still possible), thank you.

It’s 3:52 am and it took me approximately 25 minutes to write this whole thing. Subtracting it from the time I have left to study for my exam, I still have A LOT OF TIME to study!

(Let’s try to be as optimistic as my professor! Yay!!)

Image result for keep moving forward gif

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

 

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A Tablespoon of one big mess~

I’m failing at least one class this semester and all but two, at the most. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating about that and this is, for sure, my worst semester in college, regarding academics. I’d like to call this my rock bottom semester cause’ I seriously don’t think any semester could be as remotely bad as this one. This is the last wake up call semester I need for me to do more than get my shit together.

I don’t actually know what I’m gonna do after getting my grades for this semester. I actually don’t know what the consequences of the grades would be, so I don’t know what I can do about it either. But I’ve learned a lot of things this semester, realizing most of it by the end of it, so that’s what this post is going to be about.

1. “Time management is key.” AF

I remember saying that my resolution this year is to manage my time more wisely, but as you can probably infer, I failed horribly. I wasn’t able to manage my time and prioritize the things and ended up procrastinating and cramming everything in the last minute. This tip is probably a cliche for college students, like me, by now, but it’s easier said than done and I, personally, I need to be reminded of this every. single. minute. And more specifically, time management should consider EVERYTHING, such as spontaneous getaways and emergencies. Planning to finish the projects just by the nick of time or planning an all-nighter to finish studying for an exam falls under the poor time management category. Plan and schedule your time in a realistic way, considering, as I said, E V E R Y T H I N G.

2. Study. EVERYDAY FREAKING DAY. 

Okay, so this might sound unreasonable to some,  but I honestly need to study everyday. I sleep usually fall asleep during my classes, which is a terrible habit of mine I’ve had since preschool, so I need to catch up with my lessons by allotting more time in studying. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is I eat dinner while watching something, probably a movie or an episode of KDrama, then I end up finishing it and spending a bit more time relaxing. After a few hours, usually at 9 pm, I start studying, then falling asleep on my desk. HORRIBLE.

So, I really need to allot two to four hours of pure studying each day to catch up and to be able to understand the lesson and to get enough practice. And to not cram chapters worth of lessons in one night, or four hours before an exam.

3. Take GENUINE interest in what you’re learning.

I went to my classes. I tried not to sleep in my classes. I tried studying for my classes. But I honestly didn’t like my classes. If it weren’t required, I wouldn’t have taken the courses I enlisted for this semester. The only class I did like was Accounting and that’s because I’ve been hooked to business since third year high school. So, I think it’s also very important to make yourself interested and passionate about what you’re learning. I know that’s a rather challenging thing to do, especially when you’re pursuing a course that wasn’t your choice, but to make the semester a bit less painful, we’ve gotta try to like the classes we have to stick with for the duration of the semester.

4. Make time for you and your passions, too. 

While school, family, and social life are important, you’re well-being is as important as all of those things. And by making time to make sure you’re well-being is in good condition, I mean to check if your sanity’s still intact, if you’re eating properly and getting close to enough sleep, and if you’re still able to do what you actually are passionate about. Now, when you make time for you, consider the hours of sleep you’d want to have, depending on whether or not it’s a hell week, and squeezing your “relaxation” and leisure activities with the activities related to your passion into a fair amount of time. Because, as I said, I usually get a bit too relaxed and ending up spending more time relaxing than studying.

5. Take a daily dose of positivity! 

It might be hell week and/or things might not be going your way, always remember to keep a positive attitude and look at the brighter side of life. Most times, this is easier said than done, like most things, but it’s essential to get through the semester alive. You need to be happy with yourself, to be thankful for all the blessings you have, and to have a fighting spirit all throughout the semester.

6. Spend your money wisely. 

Although this isn’t school-related, it’s still a lesson I learned during this semester. I’m constantly saving up for something, which is alright, but I’ve got to be wise about how I spend my money. I went to a convention and spent more than a thousand, I bought a stuffed toy for a person I admire a lot, and now I’m saving up for shipping fees, but to me, who loves anime and likes that person, it’s worth it. Though, in the long run, spending my money on those things aren’t exactly wise. I’m working on it and I’m planning to allot a certain percentage of weekly allowance savings to put in the bank, so yay me.

There you have it, six of the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way this semester. I might not be as well put as I’d want to be and I have miles to go before becoming the woman I want to become in the future, but it’s a start and I’m a work in progress, so to the me who’s trying so hard to figure out what she’s gonna do in life, give your best and be passionate about everything you do today and God will reveal His plans to you at the right time.

I hope this post somehow helped you, too, or at the very least, realize that even though this my life’s kinda messy right now, if I’m getting through it with my head held high and I’m slowly trying to apply the lessons I’ve learned from yesterday’s mistakes, then so should you :). And always remember that you are God’s masterpiece. You are beautiful and you make this world brighter. Things might be shitty right now, but please don’t give up and know that I believe that you will get through whatever challenge it is you’re facing.

Till’ the next time~

With so much love, The Girl With The Pen

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

Make it or break it

I’m down to my last month (more or less) of second year and I’m really gonna need to get my shit together to finish this semester without failing any classes. I really can’t mess up after two failed exams in both Math and Engineering Methods in Mathematics, a failed exam in Engineering Drawing (BUT HEY, ON AVERAGE, I’M STILL PASSING!), and two horrible horrible academic essays in College English. I’d admit that this was a really challenging semester, surprisingly even more challenging than the past two semesters. But with hard work, perseverance, determination, dedication, patience, … , and, most especially, God’s help, I know I can still save my grades this semester.

They say that the first step in overcoming a weakness is awareness and acceptance. With that said, let me just say that I cheated on my diet again this week and I feel horrible. How the first sentence is related to the second? They’re probably not (HAHA), but the point is that I’m aware and I accept that I’m overweight and that I need to lose a lot of pounds to attain the “normal” weight range for my age and height. To do so, I need to strictly follow a diet and to regularly exercise. It’s hard af cos of the stress due to schoolworks and also cos of the lack of time for exercise. I tried yesterday, I failed today, and I’ll try again tomorrow. I know and accept that I sleep in class more often than I’d admit and that causes me to lag behind lessons. So that fact, along with my poor time management, is the root cause of my dilemmas. I need to be more attentive in class and to fix my priorities to catch up with my classes. It’s really difficult to do for a person like me for a lot of reasons, such as being distracted easily and terrible sleeping habits. I failed yesterday, I succeeded today, and I’ll try again tomorrow.

I guess life’s just really like that, full of fluctuations and ups and downs. The important part is to never give up because once you’ve considered giving up or settling for less than the goals that you’ve been aiming for, then you’d be stuck with that mindset. I admit that I’m stubborn and I forget this a lot, but I just can’t give up on this semester. I can’t let my parents and myself down. I can’t afford to fail any classes, again.

So, I’m still overweight, sleepy, awkward, poor in time management, stubborn, forgetful, too easy on myself, and the like. But I’m also a work in progress and, despite all the negative stuff about me, I’d say there’s some good points, too. I believe in myself that I can overcome the challenges I’m facing with God’s help and I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that He has a plan for me. Without Him, I am nothing, and with Him, nothing is impossible.

I hope you’re having a great day and if you’re troubled with your own challenges, trust in God and do your best! Never give up! And don’t forget to share the love! ❤

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

(Note: This is the most decent and inspiring post I’ve written in a very long time and I’m so happy cos of it. This month would be a challenging one, especially with me trying to save my grades and my sanity, but I’ll fight a good fight and do my best. 🙂

Also, if you have a different religion with different beliefs, please know that I respect those beliefs and I’m just stating what believe in. I’m not pushing anything on you, so please respect my religion and beliefs as well. Have a nice day~)