The First Week of the Last Year

I am now in my fourth and last year of high school. This week was pretty stressful because of all the requirements and some assignments. I haven’t been posting on my Facebook pages or blogging here because I’m trying not to procrastinate much this year. This is my very last year of high school and I don’t want to screw it up. I really want to be awarded during recognition and graduation day. Graduation day!! Oh my gods, it’s like yesterday, I was this innocent girl crying because she misses her old school and friends. Now, well honestly speaking, I’m still me, just a bit more knowledgeable, more experienced, less innocent, and straighter hair. I haven’t really grown that much since first year, mostly because of lack of sleep.

But anyways, this week was alright. As of now, I like all my teachers. They seem sort of nice and they teach well. My classmates are okay, too. I have lunch with a few friends from my previous section or, sometimes, the section before that. My class schedule isn’t bad; It’s actually rather a good schedule. Basically, as people would say: 

Moving on to other things; I don’t think I’m over banana boy just yet. I really don’t know why. Whenever I see him, I just get this ridiculous adrenaline and rush away. Honestly, I’ve been trying to avoid him as much as possible because I can’t handle it. He’s been very nice and understanding about me having a crush on him last year, but he (let me rephrase this with “people who know a lot about him”) made it pretty clear that he likes (or maybe even loves) another girl and that he’s really really dedicated to her. In other words, in the end, I’m going to be the one to end up hurt if I don’t stop this right now. Maybe it’s because I just miss him and his familiarity to me? Maybe I just miss the sound of his voice when it breaks, his intelligence about history, and other stuff I liked about him. Okay, it’s over and I think the reason why I can’t say “hi” to him is that because we never actually did say “hi” to each other in a regular basis even before. I’m sure I’ll get over this sometime soon.

I’m also doing this “Weekend Bucketlist” thing where I list stuff I want to try during the weekends on the back of my notebook and try them. It’s mostly composed of music and movies this week. I’m hoping that it would make weekends more fun and less boring since I can try a lot of new stuff. 

The college exam is two months away. I need to continue studying during weekends and not screw up. I cannot screw this up. I. Just. Can’t. 

And, lastly, I watched “The Fault in Our Stars” movie today with my classmates last year and it was okay. As someone said to me, there isn’t any perfect adaptations, so given the circumstances, I think the movie was pretty close to the book. During the movie, I just kept remembering referenced to banana boy and ugh. I know we’re different. I know he likes someone else. Why do I still have this kind of feelings towards him? Nevermind. 

That pretty much sums up my week. See how many times I used the word “pretty”. I just don’t know what other adjective to use. 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

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Mixture

I really didn’t know what to call this post because I have so much to say and they’re not really from the same category, so this is a mixture of a bit of this and that.

I ❤ Music. I always have, but now I love it more. I am addicted to Les Miserables and Wicked (If you don’t know what these are, search them in youtube ASAP). I miss this girl from Canada that influenced me to love “Defying Gravity” and the great, Ms. Lea Salonga. I am also waiting for “The Script” concert here SOON ( I’m planning to win tickets from some radio show). And yes, I have been singing out of my head lately, even at school. I’m completely nuts about music.

“Without music, life would be a mistake.” 
― Friedrich NietzscheTwilight of the Idols

 

In terms of friends, I’m alright. I’ve learned the reality of friendship and how some would leave you when they find other friends, but I didn’t learn how to let go of them yet so I’ve been tagging along for quite some time. I really don’t know what to do with that. Is it worth saving or are they just another set of people that come to my life as lessons? Well, I’m glad I still have friends that aren’t in my section (Aww..) but are still there for me.  Friendship to me is an awfully important thing. You should choose your friends because if you make a mistake in choosing, it’s you who would get hurt in the end. 

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” 
― Albert Camus

 

I currently don’t have a crush (and am still convincing myself). I should totally not make this post all about crushes and that crap. So, that’s all for this topic. THE END. Well, I do want to say something about this, but not about me. I have this friend who’s crush is my not-so-close guy friend and something went wrong and well, she’s feeling that he’s being formal with her nowadays and she just wants to go back to how things were before the “incident” happened. I’m not really taking sides on this one. They’re both my friends and I don’t want to see them hurt. My advice? Talk. 

“I had to get over [him]. For months now, a stone had been sitting on my heart. I’d shed a lot of tears over [him], lost a lot of sleep, eaten a lot of cake batter. Somehow, I had to move on. [Life] would be hell if I didn’t shake loose from the grip he had on my heart. I most definitely didn’t want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair meant for two. Even if he’d felt like The One. Even if I’d always thought we’d end up together. Even if he still had a choke chain on my heart.” 
― Kristan HigginsAll I Ever Wanted

 

Books here! Books there! Books EVERYWHERE! I am trying to win this signed copy of “The Fault in Our Stars” and I really want to win it. I cannot buy a book soon because of reasons I don’t want to understand. I’ve just finished “Will Grayson, Will Grayson” and it was awesome, rude but still awesome. Planning to read something, but only pdf. 

“Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” 
― G.K. Chesterton

 

I joined this COMELEC thing in our school. I really thought I’d just be another person in the background, but shockingly, our student body president suggested me as “secretary”. I was really surprised that I won the grand position. It’s such an honor. But, I have to not mess up on this one. 

” With great power, comes great responsibility”

-Stan Lee/Uncle Ben

 

And after all this..

And…
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

-Anastasia “At The Beginning”