A Writer in Love

I’ve been writing stories since I was elementary, but I’ve never finished a single one. At some point, I thought they were all just garbage, so I decided to delete all of it. Surely enough, I regretted that decision when I was in sixth grade, when one of my best friends also liked writing stories. I got back into writing stories because of her and our days of talking about the stories we had in mind. I haven’t seen her in a while and I miss her for a lot of reasons, but I guess things change and these memories are something I’ll cherish forever. I’ll still get to see her of course, so I look forward to those memories we’ll be making together in the future.

I wasn’t much of a poem or essay person, but during my first year in high school, we had to write a lot of them for our English class. I’d say that was the time I realized my fondness for writing. I already liked reading books and writing stories at the time, so I guess I just discovered that I found it easier to express my thoughts and feelings in writing rather than in speech. I was a quiet girl and, most of the time, I still am, so writing was my only medium of expressing myself, really.

Then I made this blog. It’s probably one of the best decisions in life I’ve made, so far. I’ve probably said this before, but my friend and I made our blogs because we were inspired to do so by an upperclassman. She’s really talented and successful and, honestly, she’s been one of my life pegs since high school. So she had a blog, well she has a blog, but she doesn’t write that often anymore, and my friend and I made our own blogs. My friend was really good at writing to the point where I sort of envied her, but it was all good since she was doing her thing and I was doing mine. She deleted it though, consequently leaving me alone in this blogging adventure we once shared. Well, it was more of a personal thing on her part and I don’t really feel deserted by her. Personally, I would’ve still wanted us to be as close as we were before, but it was my fault and that’s a completely different story.

Now, writing’s the only thing I can do, I think. Well, I’m not saying I’m a good writer, but it’s something I can do remotely well. I don’t write as often as I’d like to due to my circumstances and my frequent state of being uninspired, but I still love writing nonetheless.

Thinking about it, that’s actually something we need more of in this world: Love. I know I’ve written a lot about it, from my crushes to sharing love to complete strangers, and from loving yourself to God’s love. It’s a really broad and complex topic and I still think everyone has their own meaning of love.

But can I just say that it’s such an amazing thing to be a writer.. and in love..?

I’m not just talking about the romantic kind that Shakespeare wrote about in most of his works. I’m talking about love for God’s creations, such as life and nature. There are so many things to write about, but being in love with what you’re writing about is just.. wonderful, in the best sense of the word.

And what we write will live on for centuries, even after we die. Sure, it might not be as well-known as Shakespeare’s and Hemingway’s, but it’ll still be there and someday, it might even be read by future writers. That’d be nice, I think.

I think all writers leave pieces of themselves in everything they write, from those mandatory essays and reaction papers to their personal works. So, imagine living through these little pieces even after you’re gone – pretty much like how a horcrux works in the Harry Potter universe. Cool, right?

So, this me right now is writing this post and she might not be the girl I was in the past and I might not be her tomorrow, but she’s left pieces of herself in her writing and I will leave pieces of myself in mine.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



This post might be a bit messy, but this is probably the most well-written one I’ve posted in a while, so it’s okay. I started writing this because I felt frustrated that I’m not able to write a decent short story for my Wattpad account. I re-read my old ones and WHY DO THEY LOOK SO WELL-THOUGHT OF FOR ME???

So, yeah, I’m the girl with the pen who’s a writer in love.. with a lot of things- people, ideas, the world, life.. and I guess I’m in love with love, too. Or at least the idea of love.

Well isn’t this a fun post? HA. I have a quiz tomorrow and an exam on Saturday and what is life? And I’ve posted in two consecutive days! Wooh!

Also, I’d like to thank a lot of people, again. I might not be able to enumerate all the good things these people have done for me (even if they’re small and simple things) because there’s a lot of them, but thank you nonetheless for making these past few days brighter and for making me happier. So much love for you all~ ❤

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Flash Post 019: MCM

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in life and I’m gonna make loads more mistakes, but supporting a fellow Filipino on his journey of pursuing his passion in figure skating is not one of them. Sure, it’s highly unlikely that I’d ever buy stuff and ship them internationally for someone I don’t personally know, but I have little to no regrets in doing so for him.

I have to make this shorter than all my other flash posts (cos’ of my statics exam later DX), but this post is dedicated to no other than Michael Christian Martinez. He became famous for being the FIRST skater in the Winter Olympics to come from Southeast Asia and the ONLY Filipino athlete to compete in said competition back in 2014. It’s been a lot of years since then and yet he’s still chasing after his dreams in figure skating –  constantly pushing himself to exceed his limits and achieve his goals.

Sadly, he wasn’t able to qualify for next year’s Winter Olympics. Only 6 slots were left after the Worlds 2017, which skaters fought for in the recent Nebelhorn Trophy 2017. He got 8th place out of 26 competitors which isn’t bad, but it didn’t earn him a slot in the Winter Olympics either.

A lot of people are hating on him for focusing more on his appearance than his actual skating and for spending too much time vlogging, and admittedly, I sometimes do think that he needs to focus more on skating than anything else. But we don’t see everything that goes on in his life. I’m sure he works hard both on and off the ice, but he also deserves to live his life like everyone else. Sure, he’s a skater and a really good one, at that, but he’s also a 20-year old human being trying to live his life the way he wants to do so.

Now, I’ve watched his performances and, personally, I think they’re two of the best he’s done in a while. Forgive me for not being that acquainted with specific figure skating terms and for my lack of skills to actually describe performances properly. All I can say that I saw him give his all in both of the programs and it warms my heart to see him that happy on ice – doing what he loves doing – especially after his short program. And his Biellmann spin was magnificent, as always.

So yes, he didn’t get in, but as they say “When one door closes, two doors open.” He didn’t get this one, but God has a lot in store for him, like he has for you and me, so I hope Michael would just keep trusting God and working hard towards his passion.

Michael, if ever you’re reading this (which I highly doubt because you’re too busy doing your thing haha), I’m proud of you and I’m sure a lot of people, especially Filipinos, are proud of you, too. Don’t let the hate get you down cos’ you’re better than that. Just keep chasing your dreams because you’re inspiring a lot of people, myself included. I’m glad to see you enjoy giving it your all out there and I’m sure there’s a lot more to come for you. Good luck in all your endeavors and we’re just gonna be here to support you all the way. May God bless you always~! ❤

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



Also, if you haven’t seen his performances yet, here they are:

Short Program:

Free Skate:

 

(Well, I gotta go back to studying cos’ I have an exam later. There are times when it’s harder for me to study for a class because I failed the first exam TERRIBLY.. This is one of those times.. But I’ll live, I guess.. Till’ next time~)

Flash Post 017: Failures & Jenga

So it’s been a month and 12 days since school started and I’m still relatively okay. I’ve failed an exam already and I’m pretty sure I also failed the other exam I took on the same day, BUT I did pass one exam. I know 1 passed exam and 2 failed exams isn’t a particularly good start, but that’s exactly it! It’s only the start of the semester and I can still turn things around! I know I failed because I didn’t study enough, so I’ll make sure to study harder for the coming exams.

It’s my first time using my free internet, so I decided to post a flash post cos’ why not? I don’t really have anything to motivate you guys or to rant about, but I’m writing anyway because I love writing and there isn’t any reason why I shouldn’t write right now.

Well, probably statics, but I can study after I finish this haha.

Yesterday, I realized that Jenga isn’t just a game of stacking wooden blocks and taking pieces of it till’ the tower of blocks eventually crumble. No. It also tells something about love. See, the loser in Jenga is the one who causes the tower to fall down due to their move, while in love, for some people, the loser’s the one who falls first. And it’s a really scary thing to fall, well for me, at least, because you’re suddenly in this state of imbalance in all, or some, aspects of life wherein a single move can break you into pieces.

BUT the good thing about it is that when you fall, it’s not impossible for you to put yourself together again. You’ve got to learn from it and move on. It’s not an easy thing to do, I know, but it’s possible and if Jenga blocks can be stacked back together, so can we. It isn’t the best analogy, but it makes sense.. right?

Well, it’s a good thing I’ve never fallen for someone who does not and will never like me back HAHAHA.. *looks at past posts, especially the ones written by high school me*.. Umm… Well.. at least I’m good at constantly putting myself together again HA..

But seriously, I’ve never fallen THAT hard for someone and I hope that when I do, if I do, I’ll fall for a person that likes me back.

Besides the Jenga logic, I’d also like to give a shout out to all the people who help me get through life one day at a time. To those who help me understand the lessons, who make the class fun by being bubbly and energetic, who sit beside me and occasionally converse with me, who agree to me riding with them even though we’re not that close, to those who agreed to be partners with me (SERIOUS LIFESAVERS RIGHT HERE!!), to the one who I think is trying to reject me in a friendly way, and to everyone else who do seemingly little things that mean a lot to me — THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I should probably make a “Thank you!~” board or something because, really, without my family, friends, and these acquaintances (friends, really, but I don’t know how you feel about me) of mine, I don’t think I’d make it through a day. Seriously.

It might look like I’ve got loads of free time, but I don’t. And I should probably improve my time management skills ASAP. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post “My Favorite Things 00X” soon because I noticed I haven’t written one in a while.

Till’ next time~~~

ALSO, I haven’t slept in class for two days in a row and that’s a record for me already haha. I did have coffee today, but it still counts…

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LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Today is The Day~

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” —Mark Twain.

Life is a lot of things and it’s different for each and every one of us. Some live a life of fame and fortune while others live a simple yet wonderful life. But there are two things about our lives that we all have in common:

  1. Life is short and uncertain, and
  2. We all have a purpose in life, whether or not we know it already.

These two things make our lives valuable and, once we realize and accept these, it would be a mistake to take anything for granted. And, upon this realization, I hope that you understand how special you are. You were put in this Earth for a purpose – for something only you can do. You might not see it now, but you will someday. For now, be patient and trust God with your life for he knows what is in store for you. There is a time for everything and, surely, your time will come.

I know it’s not easy to wait for the day you realize why you were born. There are days when we’re faced with a challenge that seems too big for us to handle and when we’re so lost, lonely, and tired that we think we’ve already had enough of life. But I tell you, life is composed of both sunny and rainy days and that, as the quote goes: “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in everyday”. You might be having trouble understanding who you are, what you want in life, and why these things are happening to you. But, though it sounds cliche and overused, there is a reason for everything. You might never find out, but God has a way of putting us back to the track wherein we experience life in the best way possible if you’d only put your trust in Him and live life with accordance to His word.

Also, life shouldn’t just be about waiting. I mean, there’s that, but it’s also about living life and enjoying what you have now! Don’t wait for the weekends, for summer and winter breaks, and for the challenges in your life to end because there isn’t one. What you have is only today and, cherish it wisely- today is enough.  Life is too short for regretting the things you don’t do, given that what you want to do is relatively safe (for your health and well-being). Make mistakes and learn from them! Be you and not care what anyone else thinks! Love the people you are blessed with in life, share this amazing love with others, and let go of those people who only bring you pain and sadness. You deserve more than that and you are worth more than you think.

I hope my message has reached you, but if not, here’s the gist:

You are an AMAZING human being and I know a lot of people love and care for you. You might not notice them, but they know how special you are and they do their best to make you realize that, too. I’m sure they’re doing their best, but understand that they are humans, too, and they can only do so much. I urge you to cherish these people because they won’t always be there and I don’t want you to end up regretting what you could’ve done differently.

If you think you’ve done too many mistakes, don’t let it ruin any more of your life. You’re only human and humans make mistakes. As long as you’re alive, you can change the way you live your life. Sure, you can’t change the past- what’s done is done. But you can learn from your mistakes and turn these into something that make you a better person. I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself, too.

It’s never too late to chase after your dreams! Let your passions run wild and free! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself or make you feel that you can’t achieve anything in life, because that’s just bulls**t and screw them! This is your life and you only live it once! Live it in such a way that you’d have no regrets when it’s about to come to an end.

I wish you nothing but the great and best things in life, but if I were to choose two most important ones, I wish you a life full of happiness and love.



I just finished The Flash season three and I need the fourth season ASAP. It might not be that obvious as to why finishing the season made me write this post, but if you’ve watched it, you’d understand. So much love for that show and I can’t wait till’ the next one.

Also, I cried  A LOT during the finale, so if you’re planning to watch it or if you’re currently watching it, I hope you know that it isn’t just an action-packed show. You’re gonna need tissues and, if you’re not comfortable crying in front of other people, it would be best to watch it in private. Trust me on this one.

Lastly, this post includes a few sentences about God, so if we’re of a different religion, please apply it in the context of your own religion’s belief. I don’t mean to offend anyone and please believe that I have the utmost respect for you and your religion, so I hope you give the same respect to me and mine. Let’s all live happily in peace and share the love! ❤

P.S. Regarding my last post “To The Boy I Liked Once Upon a Time”… It wasn’t just a poem I found in some old notebook. It’s something I wrote just recently and I’m happily infatuated for someone at the moment. I hope I don’t mess it up, but in any case, he’s one of my silver linings during the week.

Ja ne~

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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W02Y03

Two weeks into the semester of my third year in college and I’m alright. I still have my sanity intact and I haven’t fucked up, last time I checked. I don’t really intend to fuck up this semester, or any semester (past and future) for that matter. Sometimes, I just do. But I’ll try my hardest not to this semester onward… Well, rather I’ll try my best this semester onward haha.

I’ve just recently realized that binge watching The Flash during weekdays (AND weekends) isn’t such a good idea. It basically just replaced KDrama and anime as my “Ah lemme give myself some slack during dinner” bad habit. I love the series and I love the characters and I love the plot (well, I’m kinda if-y about it rn), but I have to study and practice more, especially since I’m taking the subject that I dropped last semester and re-taking a class that I failed last semester, too. I’m already in season three tho so I might binge watch it this long weekend HAHAHA… after studying ;).

Lately, I’ve been feeling more “out of place” at a certain place. Hmm well I’ve never really felt “in place” at that certain place, but I think I’ve forgotten how it felt like ’till now. I mean, there are times when I feel like I belong there and I love being part of something as great as that group, but during regular days, it’s just a bit depressing. A friend of mine asked me if I’d join the same group if I had a choice (time travel or something) and when I first thought about it, I couldn’t imagine not joining that group because of how long I’ve been part of it. It’s not an “no”, but it’s not a definite answer either. But now my answer would be a “yes”, but I would probably change most of the stuff I did wrong and didn’t do in the past. I’m not asking for an out, just a redo. But that isn’t possible now either. I guess all I can do now is to adapt (which is a REALLY hard thing to do) and to improve myself. How I feel about that place isn’t their fault AT ALL, it’s just me and I need to do something about it.

Also, for this post, I wanted to appreciate all the people in my life. First of all, I’d like to thank my family. Yes, we fight A LOT (we’ve been fighting more recently), but no matter how intense and hurtful and hurt we can get, I love them so much and I can’t imagine a life without them. (I tried not crying while writing that, but I failed.)

Secondly, I’d like to also thank my best friends, especially my best guy friend and my best friend who stays with me even though she knows that there is never a moment where I’m “calm, cool, collected” (there’s just messy and really f*cking messy), for keeping me relatively sane. Although I don’t get to see most of them often, I make the time to chat with them and invite them to hang out cos I’m clingy af.

Thirdly, a big “thank you” to the people I’m not that close with (See, I’d consider them all friends, but I don’t know if they feel the same way) but who make everyday more enjoyable. Thank you for letting me ride with you to places, for letting me drag you to spontaneous dinners, for helping me with school works, for having delightful conversations with me, and for making the walk to class less tiring and actually fun.

I’m very grateful to these people and extremely thankful for having been blessed with such amazing people in my life. So for the last (but certainly not the least) thank you, I’d like to thank God for these people and for guiding and protecting and blessing me every single day. I commit sins and make mistakes, but I am a child of God and I believe in His word. Things might seem difficult, right now, but God has a bright future planned for me and I’m going to trust Him.

So there you have it! My supposed flash post that became the basic summary of how my life rn is going. I know I swore a lot, then ended with a very religious paragraph. See, I haven’t sworn off swearing completely, but verbally, I’m swearing a bit less haha.

Before I end this post, let me just include some gifs cos I love how I can include gifs in my posts now XD.

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I hope you have a great day and amazing life cos you deserve it!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



Note: I guess I’m addicted to gifs now HAHAHA. *Insert stuff I can’t include here.. here”. And, if you’re still reading, I made the title “W02Y03” cos it’s the second week of my third year and I’ve been binge watching flash XD.

Also, if you’re not Christian, I completely respect your religious views and I hope you do the same for mine. LET’S SHARE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE!!!

 

Puzzles

Have you ever just let yourself laze around with feeling only a slight tinge of guilt? Well that’s basically what I’ve been doing since last Thursday, right after I pass my final requirement for last semester. I’ve gotten my grades for all but one class, but I know my grade in that class, anyway. So, I’ve passed 6 out of my 8 classes last semester (well, 4/6 if you don’t count PE and community service) and, honestly, that’s better than the worst case scenario I had in mind. I’m sad that I didn’t pass all of them, but I really had a hard time this semester, especially with those two classes, so I’ve accepted it already and I’m just gonna have to take them again.

So, I’ve done nothing “productive”, in particular this past weekend. I’ve been trying to install a game that I’ve wanted to play for such a long time. But for some reason, it wouldn’t work, so I’ve given up on it. I’m a bit pissed cos I really wanted to play it, but life goes on and I need to work on mine. YES, I’m writing this post cause’ I can’t play the game. NO, I won’t be trying to install the game again. YES, my several failed attempts to install the game served as a wake up call for me to get my shit together, even though it’s technically summer.

What am I planning to do this summer? I don’t really know, yet. I guess I’d want to try going on a diet, again, to lose weight. Exercise a bit. Try becoming more of an adult cause’ I’m almost not a teenager. Write as much as I can, both in this blog and in my Wattpad account. Learn new skills, both practical and not-so-practical. Paint more and try digital art. And spend time with my family and friends.

Why am I writing all that down here? It’s my blog. It’s been my blog for five years and counting. And I just need to get my act together, so I’m writing it all down. Here.

So, I guess that’s that. Hopefully, I’ll be able to write again this week. I’m probably going to post “My Favorite Things 003” soon, so stay tuned. Or not. HAHAHA.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

(Note: The title of this post is “Puzzles” cos it’s better than my initial idea, “Sh*t Gathering”, and I just think that I need to put the myself back together again. NOT GOING THROUGH ANYTHING. JUST ONE HUGE MESS OF A HUMAN BEING. BUT EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT.)

Also, a sneak peek of my next post (aka what I’ve been doing with my summer, so far)

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A Tablespoon of one big mess~

I’m failing at least one class this semester and all but two, at the most. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating about that and this is, for sure, my worst semester in college, regarding academics. I’d like to call this my rock bottom semester cause’ I seriously don’t think any semester could be as remotely bad as this one. This is the last wake up call semester I need for me to do more than get my shit together.

I don’t actually know what I’m gonna do after getting my grades for this semester. I actually don’t know what the consequences of the grades would be, so I don’t know what I can do about it either. But I’ve learned a lot of things this semester, realizing most of it by the end of it, so that’s what this post is going to be about.

1. “Time management is key.” AF

I remember saying that my resolution this year is to manage my time more wisely, but as you can probably infer, I failed horribly. I wasn’t able to manage my time and prioritize the things and ended up procrastinating and cramming everything in the last minute. This tip is probably a cliche for college students, like me, by now, but it’s easier said than done and I, personally, I need to be reminded of this every. single. minute. And more specifically, time management should consider EVERYTHING, such as spontaneous getaways and emergencies. Planning to finish the projects just by the nick of time or planning an all-nighter to finish studying for an exam falls under the poor time management category. Plan and schedule your time in a realistic way, considering, as I said, E V E R Y T H I N G.

2. Study. EVERYDAY FREAKING DAY. 

Okay, so this might sound unreasonable to some,  but I honestly need to study everyday. I sleep usually fall asleep during my classes, which is a terrible habit of mine I’ve had since preschool, so I need to catch up with my lessons by allotting more time in studying. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is I eat dinner while watching something, probably a movie or an episode of KDrama, then I end up finishing it and spending a bit more time relaxing. After a few hours, usually at 9 pm, I start studying, then falling asleep on my desk. HORRIBLE.

So, I really need to allot two to four hours of pure studying each day to catch up and to be able to understand the lesson and to get enough practice. And to not cram chapters worth of lessons in one night, or four hours before an exam.

3. Take GENUINE interest in what you’re learning.

I went to my classes. I tried not to sleep in my classes. I tried studying for my classes. But I honestly didn’t like my classes. If it weren’t required, I wouldn’t have taken the courses I enlisted for this semester. The only class I did like was Accounting and that’s because I’ve been hooked to business since third year high school. So, I think it’s also very important to make yourself interested and passionate about what you’re learning. I know that’s a rather challenging thing to do, especially when you’re pursuing a course that wasn’t your choice, but to make the semester a bit less painful, we’ve gotta try to like the classes we have to stick with for the duration of the semester.

4. Make time for you and your passions, too. 

While school, family, and social life are important, you’re well-being is as important as all of those things. And by making time to make sure you’re well-being is in good condition, I mean to check if your sanity’s still intact, if you’re eating properly and getting close to enough sleep, and if you’re still able to do what you actually are passionate about. Now, when you make time for you, consider the hours of sleep you’d want to have, depending on whether or not it’s a hell week, and squeezing your “relaxation” and leisure activities with the activities related to your passion into a fair amount of time. Because, as I said, I usually get a bit too relaxed and ending up spending more time relaxing than studying.

5. Take a daily dose of positivity! 

It might be hell week and/or things might not be going your way, always remember to keep a positive attitude and look at the brighter side of life. Most times, this is easier said than done, like most things, but it’s essential to get through the semester alive. You need to be happy with yourself, to be thankful for all the blessings you have, and to have a fighting spirit all throughout the semester.

6. Spend your money wisely. 

Although this isn’t school-related, it’s still a lesson I learned during this semester. I’m constantly saving up for something, which is alright, but I’ve got to be wise about how I spend my money. I went to a convention and spent more than a thousand, I bought a stuffed toy for a person I admire a lot, and now I’m saving up for shipping fees, but to me, who loves anime and likes that person, it’s worth it. Though, in the long run, spending my money on those things aren’t exactly wise. I’m working on it and I’m planning to allot a certain percentage of weekly allowance savings to put in the bank, so yay me.

There you have it, six of the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way this semester. I might not be as well put as I’d want to be and I have miles to go before becoming the woman I want to become in the future, but it’s a start and I’m a work in progress, so to the me who’s trying so hard to figure out what she’s gonna do in life, give your best and be passionate about everything you do today and God will reveal His plans to you at the right time.

I hope this post somehow helped you, too, or at the very least, realize that even though this my life’s kinda messy right now, if I’m getting through it with my head held high and I’m slowly trying to apply the lessons I’ve learned from yesterday’s mistakes, then so should you :). And always remember that you are God’s masterpiece. You are beautiful and you make this world brighter. Things might be shitty right now, but please don’t give up and know that I believe that you will get through whatever challenge it is you’re facing.

Till’ the next time~

With so much love, The Girl With The Pen

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE