Make it or break it

I’m down to my last month (more or less) of second year and I’m really gonna need to get my shit together to finish this semester without failing any classes. I really can’t mess up after two failed exams in both Math and Engineering Methods in Mathematics, a failed exam in Engineering Drawing (BUT HEY, ON AVERAGE, I’M STILL PASSING!), and two horrible horrible academic essays in College English. I’d admit that this was a really challenging semester, surprisingly even more challenging than the past two semesters. But with hard work, perseverance, determination, dedication, patience, … , and, most especially, God’s help, I know I can still save my grades this semester.

They say that the first step in overcoming a weakness is awareness and acceptance. With that said, let me just say that I cheated on my diet again this week and I feel horrible. How the first sentence is related to the second? They’re probably not (HAHA), but the point is that I’m aware and I accept that I’m overweight and that I need to lose a lot of pounds to attain the “normal” weight range for my age and height. To do so, I need to strictly follow a diet and to regularly exercise. It’s hard af cos of the stress due to schoolworks and also cos of the lack of time for exercise. I tried yesterday, I failed today, and I’ll try again tomorrow. I know and accept that I sleep in class more often than I’d admit and that causes me to lag behind lessons. So that fact, along with my poor time management, is the root cause of my dilemmas. I need to be more attentive in class and to fix my priorities to catch up with my classes. It’s really difficult to do for a person like me for a lot of reasons, such as being distracted easily and terrible sleeping habits. I failed yesterday, I succeeded today, and I’ll try again tomorrow.

I guess life’s just really like that, full of fluctuations and ups and downs. The important part is to never give up because once you’ve considered giving up or settling for less than the goals that you’ve been aiming for, then you’d be stuck with that mindset. I admit that I’m stubborn and I forget this a lot, but I just can’t give up on this semester. I can’t let my parents and myself down. I can’t afford to fail any classes, again.

So, I’m still overweight, sleepy, awkward, poor in time management, stubborn, forgetful, too easy on myself, and the like. But I’m also a work in progress and, despite all the negative stuff about me, I’d say there’s some good points, too. I believe in myself that I can overcome the challenges I’m facing with God’s help and I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that He has a plan for me. Without Him, I am nothing, and with Him, nothing is impossible.

I hope you’re having a great day and if you’re troubled with your own challenges, trust in God and do your best! Never give up! And don’t forget to share the love! ❤

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

(Note: This is the most decent and inspiring post I’ve written in a very long time and I’m so happy cos of it. This month would be a challenging one, especially with me trying to save my grades and my sanity, but I’ll fight a good fight and do my best. 🙂

Also, if you have a different religion with different beliefs, please know that I respect those beliefs and I’m just stating what believe in. I’m not pushing anything on you, so please respect my religion and beliefs as well. Have a nice day~)

 

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Love Isn’t All About Love

Heart_35

Okay, so to be honest, I’m sort of heartbroken right now. It’s probably nothing serious, but I really feel that I fell hard this time and now, having gone through all of that, I don’t know. Let’s just say I’m done with whatever this is right now, and I want to write something inspirational from all of this. And just to let you know, everything I’m experiencing now is completely my fault. No one can blame him for liking someone else, considering that he’s just an ordinary human being. It’s my fault that I went astray from the sidewalk that was my comfort zone and did something terribly insane and desperate. But I have no regrets, and it’s time to move on.

There are different kinds of love, just to be clear, I’m talking about two kinds of love: the teenage love and all the the other types of love. Am I making any sense? Well, during the period that you undergo puberty and adolescence and the difficult life of being a teenager, you feel this sort of attraction to a person or group of people. You feel this admiration, or even lust, towards them. It would most likely be some kind of infatuation. I’m here to tell you that, LOVE ISN’T ALL ABOUT THAT. You could be single, in a relationship, or the “It’s complicated” status in high school, but that doesn’t really matter much. I mean, from my point of view, you’re life doesn’t have to revolve around that. Peer pressure and seeing people around you coupling up might make you want to have someone to hold hands with yourself. But, don’t push it too hard. There’s a right time and place for everything, and if you think you found “the one” (which isn’t very likely) then good for you, just make sure that you don’t lose yourself in that relationship. But if you think that you just want someone to date because other people are dating someone and dating is cool, try to really think about it first. Hey, there’s no rush.Put you’re studies first because it’s the thing that would greatly affect you’re future. Just make sure you’re not making a mistake and that when you look back, you won’t have any regrets.

I don’t know. Maybe that’s why I liked him so much. Maybe this is all the workings of my teenage hormones and that I’m just infatuated with him. Either way, he doesn’t like me back, and for now, it hurts. Another thing I’d like to talk about is the fact that there’s a whole other world of the other types of love. There’s the family love which you really should check on. I mean, for me, this is one of the most important types of love. You’ve got to show that you love your family as much as they love you, since they won’t be there forever. I personally take every opportunity to tell them that I love them. And yes, I can sometimes be a real pain in the ass to my parents and siblings but I love them for understanding me and fully supporting me at whatever I want to do. I’m really happy with my family, even though we’re flawed and imperfect. I wouldn’t change a thing.

And then, there’s the friend type of love which is the third most important to me. I love my friends cause’ they’re the few people that know about my crazy/depressed/insanely insane/sensitive/optimistic/pessimistic side and they accept me for who I am. I mean, there are these occasional fights that we sometimes have due to misunderstandings and due to the fact that we’re only human, but we get over it and settle our differences. I can really be sentimental and quite clingy when it comes to friends, and can sometimes overreact and be depressed when they leave me for someone else, but I’m used to it. Besides, I have friends that don’t leave me behind when they meet other people, and I love them for that. Friendship is really better than those temporary relationships and commitments that, sooner or later, end horribly. I believe that, before a couple becomes a couple, they should first become really good friends.

Honestly, I’m not much of a Godly person. I mean, I believe in God, but sometimes I have these doubts and stuff. I think it’s pretty normal. But for what it’s worth, I trust God with my life. I believe that he has good things planned for me. i believe that in times of darkness and despair, I can turn to him no matter what. So, yes, sometimes I forget about God and not put him in the center of my life, but everything I do is for his glory and that doing God’s works and spreading God’s works is the real definition of being Catholic and putting Faith into your life.

Speaking of God’s works, the other type of love I want to discuss is our love for our neighbor. It really sounds like I’m preaching to a group of people, but I am serious when I say that you should love everyone around you, because you have no idea what they’re going through and you should help them in any way you can. You could do simple random acts of kindness like giving your extra money to church, giving your extra food to the poor, doing charity work, and the like. This world shouldn’t be defined by money, rather it should be built in the stable foundation that is love. So, I encourage you to share your blessings with those less fortunate people and watch your life become brighter.

I am really surprised with how this post is going. I should really be leaving, because I still have to study for our finals, but I had to release all that pain and hurt somehow. I have to focus on what’s really important in life and let go of those stuff that just bothers me to death. I have to do something really worthwhile and worth remembering in my life. So, I’m going to mend my heart and slice it to a million and one pieces and give it to those who really deserve it. I’ve got to forget about love life and all that crap for now and focus on my studies and think of ways to show my love to God, to my family, to my friends, and to my neighbors, even my enemies. And I’m still believing that one day, somewhere, somehow, someone’s going to love me for me.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway

It’s Christmas time! I absolutely cannot wait any longer for Christmas break. A break is what I really need right now and all I need it to survive two more days of school. Ah, I can hear it now, the bells, the choirs of angels singing heavenly songs of hope and faith. I can smell the roasted turkey and see houses shining brightly at night. Just a little while now till’ I get the break I so dearly want. 

But, for now, this weekend shall be the time for me to catch up on some World History homework while watching Doctor Who, yet again. I love Doctor Who. I love David Tennant being the doctor. I love Billie Piper as Rose Tyler. Honestly, I love everything about the show, except that it breaks my feelings every time I watch it. 

And this is another blog post to keep my future self updated on what my life is like in this time in the past. I love thinking about the future and wondering how everything will turn up. I know I’m going to die, but that’s never the point. The point is to do something remarkable in the life given to me my God. I don’t care if I die, as long as I have done something worth remembering before I do pass away. 

I’m not that inspirational, I know that, but that’s because I’m trying to figure things out for myself as well. I’m not that type of people who are looked upon by other people. No. I’m just another ordinary human being trying to do something extraordinary. I laugh. I cry. I get hurt. I die. That’s the truth and the truth hurts, most times, but it’s still the truth. I really want to figure out how people around me tick and just help them get through. But how can I do that when i myself cannot understand how I tick. I understand that’s just because I’m continuing to grow and finding myself during this period.

No one can be perfect, really. Every single one of us have our own kinds of flaws. I’d like to think that even the most honorary and majestic human beings are still just human beings, with scars and imperfections and everything. I’m not as pretty as those models who pose for the magazines. I’m not as smart as that kid who aced his BAR exam. I’m not as sexy as that woman in the billboards. My face is of the ordinary, with pimples and acne. I’m not as popular as that man with tons of friends. I’m not as rich as that guy with a billion dollars. But I can tell you this, I am me, and that’s a good enough reason to keep being me. Of course, I have envied people who are better than me at stuff, but I can probably say that I’m better than them at other stuff. 

I usually belittle myself in my other posts because I don’t find anything worth anything in me, except my ability to put my thoughts into writing. That, I’m proud of. But, other than that, I feel that I am nothing, that I’m just a passerby in this busy world that no one but a few people I call friends and family would remember. And even that’s just temporary. As time will pass by, so shall the memory of my existence disappear. That’s partly the reason why this blog is important to me, it would preserve my existence until wordpress will be no more (if that would ever happen, God forbid). But this time, I don’t want to pity myself. This time I want to think of myself as an independent individual, capable of much much more that what she has now. 

I know I can do better, and so can you, dear reader. You and me, both, need to discover beautiful skills and exceptional talents within us, and not just those flaws and imperfections that just hold us back. Set aside those negative and pessimistic thoughts and focus on those optimistic thoughts, because those kind of thoughts are going to guide you and make you determined to reach those goals you have  for the future. This may be a really badly formed post, with all the moodswings in the paragraphs, but I am happy I wrote it. I am happy with it. And hopefully, I’ve inspired someone other than myself. 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Who Am I

I am but an ordinary human being,

A little taller than some people in the world,

Dark hair, brown eyes, thicker than most girls, you may say,

But that’s just who I am, something I cannot hide.

 

Most of you would judge me, some even laugh at me, 

But you laugh all you want, I don’t give a damn, really,

If you don’t like me, fine, I don’t want your comment,

Because you don’t know me, who this girl really is.

 

I might be just some girl, you see, walking around, 

Or some person you ride the bus with, going home,

Or that nerd standing when the teacher asks something, 

Or that fatty reading, or writing, a story.

 

 

Point is, I’m that girl with a pessimistic brain and an optimistic heart. I can feel really insecure at times when other people would laugh at me or when I’m alone on the front seat of the bus. I hate feeling that way. I hate hating on my body, on my face, and on myself. I hate being alone so much just because other people have more friends than I do. I hate the idea of this world revolving around money. I hate the government for misusing the money of the people. I hate the world and my life for being so messed up.

 

But then, there are those moments when I stop and smile and appreciate what I have. I have a family that I can go home to and support me. I have friends that are really great. I have the opportunity to study and finish college. I have a computer to use for multiple reasons. I have a house I live in. I have this blog to write on. I have more than a lot of people in this world. And that’s for a reason, so that I’d be able to help them, to share what I do have with them. 

A lot of people, nowadays, tend to harm themselves because they hate themselves and the people around them. They think that feeling pain would make their depression go away. I don’t judge them, really. But, I just think their wasting themselves and their lives. We’re all here for a reason and life can be a really pain in the ass, but it can also be an awesome ride. Don’t let sadness get to you, and just live life well. Everything passes, and so would that problems of yours. Don’t end your life because of your problem,rather, find a solution to that, with the help of the people close to you, and continue living your life, without the pain. 

I don’t know if this is really a cause against self-harm, which I was hoping it would be. But, I really wish you get the gist of this rather long post.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

 

We Haven’t Seen Each Other in A Week, When You Said You Needed Space.. WHAT!?

The caption is because I have not posted in this blog for like a week, so welcome back, me.

I’ve been a little too not over youu.. jk 😛 I’ve been quite busy this week. We just had this thing called “Carol Fest” at my school today. It’s like this class choir singing a Christmas carol and competing with other sections. And the other days were full of home works and the usual.

The Carol Fest thing was pretty awesome. I wasn’t that into it at first, but later on, I just went with the flow (not to mention I stayed until 7 pm just to practice for it yesterday). My section has been pretty awesome. I love them all. It might not be –insert first year section here– but it’s cool. It was a good fight and I think the reason why we were all happy when it was done was that we knew we gave it our all and because IT’S DONE! Yes, there were some quarrels and misunderstandings that went on while we were practicing for it, but, after all that, we came through. Too bad we didn’t get into the Finals though, but as I said, good fight.

Imagine an amazing and inspirational student being mayor for a whole week. Well, yeah.. better governing for a WEEK (not that I don’t like our city mayor). This dude is like the crush of my close friend in –insert 2nd year section here– and he’s completely awesome. He’s like super smart, super nice and super cute (c’mon, everyone thinks this). Congratulations, Mr. –insert name here–, you deserve it :D.

I love quotes (I am 50% sure that you know that) and this dude has been posting these super inspirational quotes since.. FOREVER. He’s like my idol when it comes to life. He makes it seem so easy and fun. He’s like perfect and saint-like (because he’s hole-y.. hahaha Harry Potter ROCKS!). So, yeah. I’d just like to give some credit to the guy by writing him a simple letter here. So, here it goes: 

Dear, –insert name here–

thanks for posting super awesome quotes in your facebook profile. You are an awesome person. I’d like to know how you deal with shit that’s like harder than the shit I deal with. Could you write a blog and I’d follow you? Hahaha.

-Sincerely The Girl with the Pen

So, there. Um.. I’m not sure if I’d feel like posting other stuff this weekend so, for now, so  long..

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE