What have I done with my life, so far?
I can’t help but question myself whenever I see people, that I know, travelling, chasing after their dreams, doing something for the betterment of others, and what not. I am in awe of them because they’re off doing amazing things. They’re wonderful, really, and I want to be like that, too- wonderful.
How can I actually improve myself?
Awareness and acceptance is the first step to self-improvement, I think. I also need a very legit reason to do so, something I can hold onto when things get difficult. See, it’s not only physical appearance I’m talking about, but also my attitude towards people and things, such as academics.
What comes after that? The hard part- the execution. It’s really not easy to change oneself, especially when you’re as stubborn, indecisive, and forgetful as me. I’m awful, really. And sometimes, I think of myself as a hypocrite- how can I be writing about big things while I’m still a work in progress? I’ll just leave that unanswered because I don’t know how to.
I’m going to have to face a lot of obstacles on my way to improving myself, most of which will be the obstacles that I myself have set before me- self-doubt, insecurity, selfishness, and the like. But somehow, hopefully, I’ll get by.
Why would I go to such measures just to improve myself?
Why? Well, simply because I’m not satisfied with who I am right now. I dislike who I am as a person and how I’m living my life. I want to do better. I know I can.
I want to get out of my comfort zone. I want to make new friends. I want to help other people. I want to explore new places. I want to try new things (legal, of course). I want to make a difference. I want to be passionate about something. I want to publish books. I want to spend time with my family and friends. AND SO MUCH MORE!
And I feel that the me right now won’t be able to do all those things.
(Note: I HAVE A CHEMISTRY (DISCUSSION) EXAM NEXT MONDAY, A MATH EXAM NEXT NEXT FRIDAY, AND A CHEMISTRY (LAB EXAM) AND A PHYSICS EXAM NEXT NEXT NEXT MONDAY!! NOT TO MENTION THAT IT’S FINALS WEEK NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT WEEK!!
Gods, I just want this semester to end. Please. I don’t know how I’m going to survive and I don’t know how I can make my grades survive with me, but I need to manage to do that somehow.
And this post looks like I’m talking to myself or whatever. I hope at least one of you readers could relate and I hope this post helped you somehow cos it really looks like I’m talking to myself and that’s just sad, really.)
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE