Flash Post 26: A Really Messy Post

(I’m turning 20 years old next year… I kinda don’t want to.)

It’s 9 am and I’m here writing at my dormitory. Good thing I don’t have an 8:30 class anymore. I would’ve been late for that if I did.

I didn’t do so well on my exam yesterday. I studied more than I  did the past exams, but I should’ve practiced more by answering more exercises.

“There comes a point in a person’s life” wherein they know they’re screwed, mid-exam.

But my mom says I shouldn’t give up yet, since there’s still finals and she didn’t raise a quitter. And, well, “Mother knows best”.

So, I have 2 exams tomorrow, an exam on Saturday, 2 exams next Monday, an exam next Tuesday, an exam next Friday, and finally, an exam next Saturday.

A grand total of 8 more exams left for this semester.

In less than 2 weeks…

I’ve survived a lot worse.. And hey! I’m exempted from taking the finals for one majors class.



There are a lot of things that could’ve gone better if only I had done something differently. I could’ve avoided a lot of arguments with my mom/parents if  I had a different tone or if I had said something different. I could’ve done better at school if only I wasn’t sleepy, lazy, and stubborn. I could’ve had more friends if I wasn’t so damn awkward.

There’s a million things I could’ve done, but I didn’t.

And this post is getting sad, but that’s kinda how I feel right now. Because of the previous line though, I thought of something that could turn this sad frown upside down!

“There’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait.”

Which is a line from the spectacularly amazing musical Hamilton: An American Musical.

(I spelled the word “musical” correctly, but it’s underlined in red and it looks weird, when you really look at it.. Hmmm…)

MY POINT is that I’m only 19 years old and there’s still so much I could do.

Life isn’t over yet and, while I’m going to have to face a lot of challenges..

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I really didn’t mean for it to become a post full of bible verses, but I’m glad it turned out this way.

If you aren’t a Christian, I still completely respect you and your beliefs. I ask you to do the same for me.

This post is kinda messy and I still don’t like the idea of wearing a skirt to school today.

Oh well…

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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Flash Post 023: n+1 (where n is any real number)

About a year ago. I thought of myself as a person who does most things halfheartedly – intentionally settling for mediocrity because, for reasons, I wasn’t willing to give any extra effort to the things I was doing. I don’t know when I turned from being a sincere person who does her best in everything.. to that. I’d say I lost sight of my dreams and who I wanted to be. I didn’t see the value of what I was doing and how my choices would affect my future. I gave myself too much slack, only worsening my already awful time management skills.

This year, I’ve realized that I’m surrounded by extremely passionate people who work together to achieve common goals that would not only make them proud of their hard work and efforts, but also inspire and motivate other people to become as passionate and committed as they are. I’ve conversed with people who are in love with what they’re doing, making them enjoy it rather than seeing it as work. In short, these people have inspired me to passionately immerse myself into the things that I do and to run after my dreams again, to some degree.

I say all that, but I don’t really understand what I’m passionate about, at the moment. I mean, of course I should be passionate about my course and writing, and all that, but how do you continue to fuel your passion to the point where it actually pushes you to do more?

To be honest, I’m studying for an exam, but a friend of mine told me how wonderful it would be if we can share the word of God to the people with a certain feeling of being so filled with it that we have no other choice but to share it with other people. She compared it with how I couldn’t help sharing with them the stuff that happens with the guy I like. AND HONESTLY THAT MADE ME UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO CONVEY BECAUSE I HONESTLY CAN’T DO ANYTHING BUT TALK ABOUT OR WRITE ABOUT HIM 24/7.

I like him a lot and maybe, in a while, I can express it properly through words. He’s constantly running through my mind. While I’m sort of sad that I can’t think, talk about, and write about anything else but him… Actually, at this point, it’s just really sad how it’s come to this and this is all going to be over soon. There’s no consolation in liking someone THIS MUCH and knowing that, after this, all you’ll have is the memories.

WELL THIS POST TOOK A ROUGH TURN. Basically, my point is that it would be really great if I can be as passionate about something ACTUALLY FULFILLING as I am about him. Not that this isn’t worthwhile, it just sort of hurts now and there’s nothing else to do but let it out through writing and eventually move on.

HOPEFULLY, in my next post, I’ll be able to write about something other than him because I need to prove to myself that I can do it, so I will.

141/272

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

A Writer in Love

I’ve been writing stories since I was elementary, but I’ve never finished a single one. At some point, I thought they were all just garbage, so I decided to delete all of it. Surely enough, I regretted that decision when I was in sixth grade, when one of my best friends also liked writing stories. I got back into writing stories because of her and our days of talking about the stories we had in mind. I haven’t seen her in a while and I miss her for a lot of reasons, but I guess things change and these memories are something I’ll cherish forever. I’ll still get to see her of course, so I look forward to those memories we’ll be making together in the future.

I wasn’t much of a poem or essay person, but during my first year in high school, we had to write a lot of them for our English class. I’d say that was the time I realized my fondness for writing. I already liked reading books and writing stories at the time, so I guess I just discovered that I found it easier to express my thoughts and feelings in writing rather than in speech. I was a quiet girl and, most of the time, I still am, so writing was my only medium of expressing myself, really.

Then I made this blog. It’s probably one of the best decisions in life I’ve made, so far. I’ve probably said this before, but my friend and I made our blogs because we were inspired to do so by an upperclassman. She’s really talented and successful and, honestly, she’s been one of my life pegs since high school. So she had a blog, well she has a blog, but she doesn’t write that often anymore, and my friend and I made our own blogs. My friend was really good at writing to the point where I sort of envied her, but it was all good since she was doing her thing and I was doing mine. She deleted it though, consequently leaving me alone in this blogging adventure we once shared. Well, it was more of a personal thing on her part and I don’t really feel deserted by her. Personally, I would’ve still wanted us to be as close as we were before, but it was my fault and that’s a completely different story.

Now, writing’s the only thing I can do, I think. Well, I’m not saying I’m a good writer, but it’s something I can do remotely well. I don’t write as often as I’d like to due to my circumstances and my frequent state of being uninspired, but I still love writing nonetheless.

Thinking about it, that’s actually something we need more of in this world: Love. I know I’ve written a lot about it, from my crushes to sharing love to complete strangers, and from loving yourself to God’s love. It’s a really broad and complex topic and I still think everyone has their own meaning of love.

But can I just say that it’s such an amazing thing to be a writer.. and in love..?

I’m not just talking about the romantic kind that Shakespeare wrote about in most of his works. I’m talking about love for God’s creations, such as life and nature. There are so many things to write about, but being in love with what you’re writing about is just.. wonderful, in the best sense of the word.

And what we write will live on for centuries, even after we die. Sure, it might not be as well-known as Shakespeare’s and Hemingway’s, but it’ll still be there and someday, it might even be read by future writers. That’d be nice, I think.

I think all writers leave pieces of themselves in everything they write, from those mandatory essays and reaction papers to their personal works. So, imagine living through these little pieces even after you’re gone – pretty much like how a horcrux works in the Harry Potter universe. Cool, right?

So, this me right now is writing this post and she might not be the girl I was in the past and I might not be her tomorrow, but she’s left pieces of herself in her writing and I will leave pieces of myself in mine.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



This post might be a bit messy, but this is probably the most well-written one I’ve posted in a while, so it’s okay. I started writing this because I felt frustrated that I’m not able to write a decent short story for my Wattpad account. I re-read my old ones and WHY DO THEY LOOK SO WELL-THOUGHT OF FOR ME???

So, yeah, I’m the girl with the pen who’s a writer in love.. with a lot of things- people, ideas, the world, life.. and I guess I’m in love with love, too. Or at least the idea of love.

Well isn’t this a fun post? HA. I have a quiz tomorrow and an exam on Saturday and what is life? And I’ve posted in two consecutive days! Wooh!

Also, I’d like to thank a lot of people, again. I might not be able to enumerate all the good things these people have done for me (even if they’re small and simple things) because there’s a lot of them, but thank you nonetheless for making these past few days brighter and for making me happier. So much love for you all~ ❤

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Flash Post 019: MCM

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in life and I’m gonna make loads more mistakes, but supporting a fellow Filipino on his journey of pursuing his passion in figure skating is not one of them. Sure, it’s highly unlikely that I’d ever buy stuff and ship them internationally for someone I don’t personally know, but I have little to no regrets in doing so for him.

I have to make this shorter than all my other flash posts (cos’ of my statics exam later DX), but this post is dedicated to no other than Michael Christian Martinez. He became famous for being the FIRST skater in the Winter Olympics to come from Southeast Asia and the ONLY Filipino athlete to compete in said competition back in 2014. It’s been a lot of years since then and yet he’s still chasing after his dreams in figure skating –  constantly pushing himself to exceed his limits and achieve his goals.

Sadly, he wasn’t able to qualify for next year’s Winter Olympics. Only 6 slots were left after the Worlds 2017, which skaters fought for in the recent Nebelhorn Trophy 2017. He got 8th place out of 26 competitors which isn’t bad, but it didn’t earn him a slot in the Winter Olympics either.

A lot of people are hating on him for focusing more on his appearance than his actual skating and for spending too much time vlogging, and admittedly, I sometimes do think that he needs to focus more on skating than anything else. But we don’t see everything that goes on in his life. I’m sure he works hard both on and off the ice, but he also deserves to live his life like everyone else. Sure, he’s a skater and a really good one, at that, but he’s also a 20-year old human being trying to live his life the way he wants to do so.

Now, I’ve watched his performances and, personally, I think they’re two of the best he’s done in a while. Forgive me for not being that acquainted with specific figure skating terms and for my lack of skills to actually describe performances properly. All I can say that I saw him give his all in both of the programs and it warms my heart to see him that happy on ice – doing what he loves doing – especially after his short program. And his Biellmann spin was magnificent, as always.

So yes, he didn’t get in, but as they say “When one door closes, two doors open.” He didn’t get this one, but God has a lot in store for him, like he has for you and me, so I hope Michael would just keep trusting God and working hard towards his passion.

Michael, if ever you’re reading this (which I highly doubt because you’re too busy doing your thing haha), I’m proud of you and I’m sure a lot of people, especially Filipinos, are proud of you, too. Don’t let the hate get you down cos’ you’re better than that. Just keep chasing your dreams because you’re inspiring a lot of people, myself included. I’m glad to see you enjoy giving it your all out there and I’m sure there’s a lot more to come for you. Good luck in all your endeavors and we’re just gonna be here to support you all the way. May God bless you always~! ❤

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



Also, if you haven’t seen his performances yet, here they are:

Short Program:

Free Skate:

 

(Well, I gotta go back to studying cos’ I have an exam later. There are times when it’s harder for me to study for a class because I failed the first exam TERRIBLY.. This is one of those times.. But I’ll live, I guess.. Till’ next time~)

Today is The Day~

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” —Mark Twain.

Life is a lot of things and it’s different for each and every one of us. Some live a life of fame and fortune while others live a simple yet wonderful life. But there are two things about our lives that we all have in common:

  1. Life is short and uncertain, and
  2. We all have a purpose in life, whether or not we know it already.

These two things make our lives valuable and, once we realize and accept these, it would be a mistake to take anything for granted. And, upon this realization, I hope that you understand how special you are. You were put in this Earth for a purpose – for something only you can do. You might not see it now, but you will someday. For now, be patient and trust God with your life for he knows what is in store for you. There is a time for everything and, surely, your time will come.

I know it’s not easy to wait for the day you realize why you were born. There are days when we’re faced with a challenge that seems too big for us to handle and when we’re so lost, lonely, and tired that we think we’ve already had enough of life. But I tell you, life is composed of both sunny and rainy days and that, as the quote goes: “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in everyday”. You might be having trouble understanding who you are, what you want in life, and why these things are happening to you. But, though it sounds cliche and overused, there is a reason for everything. You might never find out, but God has a way of putting us back to the track wherein we experience life in the best way possible if you’d only put your trust in Him and live life with accordance to His word.

Also, life shouldn’t just be about waiting. I mean, there’s that, but it’s also about living life and enjoying what you have now! Don’t wait for the weekends, for summer and winter breaks, and for the challenges in your life to end because there isn’t one. What you have is only today and, cherish it wisely- today is enough.  Life is too short for regretting the things you don’t do, given that what you want to do is relatively safe (for your health and well-being). Make mistakes and learn from them! Be you and not care what anyone else thinks! Love the people you are blessed with in life, share this amazing love with others, and let go of those people who only bring you pain and sadness. You deserve more than that and you are worth more than you think.

I hope my message has reached you, but if not, here’s the gist:

You are an AMAZING human being and I know a lot of people love and care for you. You might not notice them, but they know how special you are and they do their best to make you realize that, too. I’m sure they’re doing their best, but understand that they are humans, too, and they can only do so much. I urge you to cherish these people because they won’t always be there and I don’t want you to end up regretting what you could’ve done differently.

If you think you’ve done too many mistakes, don’t let it ruin any more of your life. You’re only human and humans make mistakes. As long as you’re alive, you can change the way you live your life. Sure, you can’t change the past- what’s done is done. But you can learn from your mistakes and turn these into something that make you a better person. I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself, too.

It’s never too late to chase after your dreams! Let your passions run wild and free! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself or make you feel that you can’t achieve anything in life, because that’s just bulls**t and screw them! This is your life and you only live it once! Live it in such a way that you’d have no regrets when it’s about to come to an end.

I wish you nothing but the great and best things in life, but if I were to choose two most important ones, I wish you a life full of happiness and love.



I just finished The Flash season three and I need the fourth season ASAP. It might not be that obvious as to why finishing the season made me write this post, but if you’ve watched it, you’d understand. So much love for that show and I can’t wait till’ the next one.

Also, I cried  A LOT during the finale, so if you’re planning to watch it or if you’re currently watching it, I hope you know that it isn’t just an action-packed show. You’re gonna need tissues and, if you’re not comfortable crying in front of other people, it would be best to watch it in private. Trust me on this one.

Lastly, this post includes a few sentences about God, so if we’re of a different religion, please apply it in the context of your own religion’s belief. I don’t mean to offend anyone and please believe that I have the utmost respect for you and your religion, so I hope you give the same respect to me and mine. Let’s all live happily in peace and share the love! ❤

P.S. Regarding my last post “To The Boy I Liked Once Upon a Time”… It wasn’t just a poem I found in some old notebook. It’s something I wrote just recently and I’m happily infatuated for someone at the moment. I hope I don’t mess it up, but in any case, he’s one of my silver linings during the week.

Ja ne~

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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W02Y03

Two weeks into the semester of my third year in college and I’m alright. I still have my sanity intact and I haven’t fucked up, last time I checked. I don’t really intend to fuck up this semester, or any semester (past and future) for that matter. Sometimes, I just do. But I’ll try my hardest not to this semester onward… Well, rather I’ll try my best this semester onward haha.

I’ve just recently realized that binge watching The Flash during weekdays (AND weekends) isn’t such a good idea. It basically just replaced KDrama and anime as my “Ah lemme give myself some slack during dinner” bad habit. I love the series and I love the characters and I love the plot (well, I’m kinda if-y about it rn), but I have to study and practice more, especially since I’m taking the subject that I dropped last semester and re-taking a class that I failed last semester, too. I’m already in season three tho so I might binge watch it this long weekend HAHAHA… after studying ;).

Lately, I’ve been feeling more “out of place” at a certain place. Hmm well I’ve never really felt “in place” at that certain place, but I think I’ve forgotten how it felt like ’till now. I mean, there are times when I feel like I belong there and I love being part of something as great as that group, but during regular days, it’s just a bit depressing. A friend of mine asked me if I’d join the same group if I had a choice (time travel or something) and when I first thought about it, I couldn’t imagine not joining that group because of how long I’ve been part of it. It’s not an “no”, but it’s not a definite answer either. But now my answer would be a “yes”, but I would probably change most of the stuff I did wrong and didn’t do in the past. I’m not asking for an out, just a redo. But that isn’t possible now either. I guess all I can do now is to adapt (which is a REALLY hard thing to do) and to improve myself. How I feel about that place isn’t their fault AT ALL, it’s just me and I need to do something about it.

Also, for this post, I wanted to appreciate all the people in my life. First of all, I’d like to thank my family. Yes, we fight A LOT (we’ve been fighting more recently), but no matter how intense and hurtful and hurt we can get, I love them so much and I can’t imagine a life without them. (I tried not crying while writing that, but I failed.)

Secondly, I’d like to also thank my best friends, especially my best guy friend and my best friend who stays with me even though she knows that there is never a moment where I’m “calm, cool, collected” (there’s just messy and really f*cking messy), for keeping me relatively sane. Although I don’t get to see most of them often, I make the time to chat with them and invite them to hang out cos I’m clingy af.

Thirdly, a big “thank you” to the people I’m not that close with (See, I’d consider them all friends, but I don’t know if they feel the same way) but who make everyday more enjoyable. Thank you for letting me ride with you to places, for letting me drag you to spontaneous dinners, for helping me with school works, for having delightful conversations with me, and for making the walk to class less tiring and actually fun.

I’m very grateful to these people and extremely thankful for having been blessed with such amazing people in my life. So for the last (but certainly not the least) thank you, I’d like to thank God for these people and for guiding and protecting and blessing me every single day. I commit sins and make mistakes, but I am a child of God and I believe in His word. Things might seem difficult, right now, but God has a bright future planned for me and I’m going to trust Him.

So there you have it! My supposed flash post that became the basic summary of how my life rn is going. I know I swore a lot, then ended with a very religious paragraph. See, I haven’t sworn off swearing completely, but verbally, I’m swearing a bit less haha.

Before I end this post, let me just include some gifs cos I love how I can include gifs in my posts now XD.

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I hope you have a great day and amazing life cos you deserve it!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



Note: I guess I’m addicted to gifs now HAHAHA. *Insert stuff I can’t include here.. here”. And, if you’re still reading, I made the title “W02Y03” cos it’s the second week of my third year and I’ve been binge watching flash XD.

Also, if you’re not Christian, I completely respect your religious views and I hope you do the same for mine. LET’S SHARE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE!!!

 

Make it or break it

I’m down to my last month (more or less) of second year and I’m really gonna need to get my shit together to finish this semester without failing any classes. I really can’t mess up after two failed exams in both Math and Engineering Methods in Mathematics, a failed exam in Engineering Drawing (BUT HEY, ON AVERAGE, I’M STILL PASSING!), and two horrible horrible academic essays in College English. I’d admit that this was a really challenging semester, surprisingly even more challenging than the past two semesters. But with hard work, perseverance, determination, dedication, patience, … , and, most especially, God’s help, I know I can still save my grades this semester.

They say that the first step in overcoming a weakness is awareness and acceptance. With that said, let me just say that I cheated on my diet again this week and I feel horrible. How the first sentence is related to the second? They’re probably not (HAHA), but the point is that I’m aware and I accept that I’m overweight and that I need to lose a lot of pounds to attain the “normal” weight range for my age and height. To do so, I need to strictly follow a diet and to regularly exercise. It’s hard af cos of the stress due to schoolworks and also cos of the lack of time for exercise. I tried yesterday, I failed today, and I’ll try again tomorrow. I know and accept that I sleep in class more often than I’d admit and that causes me to lag behind lessons. So that fact, along with my poor time management, is the root cause of my dilemmas. I need to be more attentive in class and to fix my priorities to catch up with my classes. It’s really difficult to do for a person like me for a lot of reasons, such as being distracted easily and terrible sleeping habits. I failed yesterday, I succeeded today, and I’ll try again tomorrow.

I guess life’s just really like that, full of fluctuations and ups and downs. The important part is to never give up because once you’ve considered giving up or settling for less than the goals that you’ve been aiming for, then you’d be stuck with that mindset. I admit that I’m stubborn and I forget this a lot, but I just can’t give up on this semester. I can’t let my parents and myself down. I can’t afford to fail any classes, again.

So, I’m still overweight, sleepy, awkward, poor in time management, stubborn, forgetful, too easy on myself, and the like. But I’m also a work in progress and, despite all the negative stuff about me, I’d say there’s some good points, too. I believe in myself that I can overcome the challenges I’m facing with God’s help and I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that He has a plan for me. Without Him, I am nothing, and with Him, nothing is impossible.

I hope you’re having a great day and if you’re troubled with your own challenges, trust in God and do your best! Never give up! And don’t forget to share the love! ❤

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

(Note: This is the most decent and inspiring post I’ve written in a very long time and I’m so happy cos of it. This month would be a challenging one, especially with me trying to save my grades and my sanity, but I’ll fight a good fight and do my best. 🙂

Also, if you have a different religion with different beliefs, please know that I respect those beliefs and I’m just stating what believe in. I’m not pushing anything on you, so please respect my religion and beliefs as well. Have a nice day~)