Me: So today marks the end of my 50-day trial of the year 2018.
Life: There’s no free trial. You were given 365 days this year and you’ve managed to live through 50 days already.
Me: What do you mean “There’s no free trial”????
Today is the 50th day of the year and I kind of want a redo of most of the 49 days I’ve already spent this year, but of course that’s not possible. Right now, I have two options: to see it as 49 days down the drain and my year is ruined OR to recognize that I still have 315 days and 13 hours to live this year to the fullest.
Of course I’m choosing the second option because I haven’t actually done anything that’s extreme enough to ruin this only 50-day old year (HEY IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!). It’s just that sometimes it gets really sad that I start to question my life choices. Not that I don’t question them on a regular basis, but it’s gotten a bit more frequent and I’m not really asking the same questions as before.
I guess I’m mostly sad about the fact that I’ve managed to destroy my “no sleeping in class” streak (of two weeks) with “OH MY GODS I SLEPT FOR MOST OF THE CLASS” streak (of three weeks), the anxiety I feel about that Engineering Economics exam I took about two weeks ago which hasn’t been returned yet, and some other problems I’d really rather not discuss or think about.
I have a debate tomorrow, an exam on Wednesday, an exam on Saturday, and an exam on Monday. I’ve gone through worse, but it’s kind of the fact that all of my exams will be the first I take for those classes and I’ve sort of slightly forgotten how to actually study for exams over the break, so yes I need to get my shit together more than I usually do to get through these next two weeks.
I’m alright and everything’s going to be fine and I hope you’re doing great, as well. Let’s get through all our problems (that we are able to solve right now) together! ❤
Also, to the guy who might be reading this (I say “might” but there’s a greater chance he’d never get to read this in this lifetime), thank you for continuously considering me as a friend and for being the nicest and most considerate crush I’ve ever had. It took me a while, but I think I finally fully understand what you said about effort. See you around!! 🙂
I better resume the little progress I’ve done in studying for my exams. If you’re looking for a sign to have a fresh start after 50 days into this year, this is it. Today is a new day, the sun is shining brightly, and it’s never too late to decide that this year is going to be your year.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE