Flash Post 033: 50-Day Free Trial

Me: So today marks the end of my 50-day trial of the year 2018.

Life: There’s no free trial. You were given 365 days this year and you’ve managed to live through 50 days already. 

Me: What do you mean “There’s no free trial”????



Today is the 50th day of the year and I kind of want a redo of most of the 49 days I’ve already spent this year, but of course that’s not possible. Right now, I have two options: to see it as 49 days down the drain and my year is ruined OR to recognize that I still have 315 days and 13 hours to live this year to the fullest.

Of course I’m choosing the second option because I haven’t actually done anything that’s extreme enough to ruin this only 50-day old year (HEY IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!). It’s just that sometimes it gets really sad that I start to question my life choices. Not that I don’t question them on a regular basis, but it’s gotten a bit more frequent and I’m not really asking the same questions as before.

I guess I’m mostly sad about the fact that I’ve managed to destroy my “no sleeping in class” streak (of two weeks) with “OH MY GODS I SLEPT FOR MOST OF THE CLASS” streak (of three weeks), the anxiety I feel about that Engineering Economics exam I took about two weeks ago which hasn’t been returned yet, and some other problems I’d really rather not discuss or think about.

I have a debate tomorrow, an exam on Wednesday, an exam on Saturday, and an exam on Monday. I’ve gone through worse, but it’s kind of the fact that all of my exams will be the first I take for those classes and I’ve sort of slightly forgotten how to actually study for exams over the break, so yes  I need to get my shit together more than I usually do to get through these next two weeks.

I’m alright and everything’s going to be fine and I hope you’re doing great, as well. Let’s get through all our problems (that we are able to solve right now) together! ❤

Also, to the guy who might be reading this (I say “might” but there’s a greater chance he’d never get to read this in this lifetime), thank you for continuously considering me as a friend and for being the nicest and most considerate crush  I’ve ever had. It took me a while, but I think I finally fully understand what you said about effort. See you around!! 🙂

I better resume the little progress I’ve done in studying for my exams. If you’re looking for a sign to have a fresh start after 50 days into this year, this is it. Today is a new day, the sun is shining brightly, and it’s never too late to decide that this year is going to be your year.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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W02Y03

Two weeks into the semester of my third year in college and I’m alright. I still have my sanity intact and I haven’t fucked up, last time I checked. I don’t really intend to fuck up this semester, or any semester (past and future) for that matter. Sometimes, I just do. But I’ll try my hardest not to this semester onward… Well, rather I’ll try my best this semester onward haha.

I’ve just recently realized that binge watching The Flash during weekdays (AND weekends) isn’t such a good idea. It basically just replaced KDrama and anime as my “Ah lemme give myself some slack during dinner” bad habit. I love the series and I love the characters and I love the plot (well, I’m kinda if-y about it rn), but I have to study and practice more, especially since I’m taking the subject that I dropped last semester and re-taking a class that I failed last semester, too. I’m already in season three tho so I might binge watch it this long weekend HAHAHA… after studying ;).

Lately, I’ve been feeling more “out of place” at a certain place. Hmm well I’ve never really felt “in place” at that certain place, but I think I’ve forgotten how it felt like ’till now. I mean, there are times when I feel like I belong there and I love being part of something as great as that group, but during regular days, it’s just a bit depressing. A friend of mine asked me if I’d join the same group if I had a choice (time travel or something) and when I first thought about it, I couldn’t imagine not joining that group because of how long I’ve been part of it. It’s not an “no”, but it’s not a definite answer either. But now my answer would be a “yes”, but I would probably change most of the stuff I did wrong and didn’t do in the past. I’m not asking for an out, just a redo. But that isn’t possible now either. I guess all I can do now is to adapt (which is a REALLY hard thing to do) and to improve myself. How I feel about that place isn’t their fault AT ALL, it’s just me and I need to do something about it.

Also, for this post, I wanted to appreciate all the people in my life. First of all, I’d like to thank my family. Yes, we fight A LOT (we’ve been fighting more recently), but no matter how intense and hurtful and hurt we can get, I love them so much and I can’t imagine a life without them. (I tried not crying while writing that, but I failed.)

Secondly, I’d like to also thank my best friends, especially my best guy friend and my best friend who stays with me even though she knows that there is never a moment where I’m “calm, cool, collected” (there’s just messy and really f*cking messy), for keeping me relatively sane. Although I don’t get to see most of them often, I make the time to chat with them and invite them to hang out cos I’m clingy af.

Thirdly, a big “thank you” to the people I’m not that close with (See, I’d consider them all friends, but I don’t know if they feel the same way) but who make everyday more enjoyable. Thank you for letting me ride with you to places, for letting me drag you to spontaneous dinners, for helping me with school works, for having delightful conversations with me, and for making the walk to class less tiring and actually fun.

I’m very grateful to these people and extremely thankful for having been blessed with such amazing people in my life. So for the last (but certainly not the least) thank you, I’d like to thank God for these people and for guiding and protecting and blessing me every single day. I commit sins and make mistakes, but I am a child of God and I believe in His word. Things might seem difficult, right now, but God has a bright future planned for me and I’m going to trust Him.

So there you have it! My supposed flash post that became the basic summary of how my life rn is going. I know I swore a lot, then ended with a very religious paragraph. See, I haven’t sworn off swearing completely, but verbally, I’m swearing a bit less haha.

Before I end this post, let me just include some gifs cos I love how I can include gifs in my posts now XD.

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I hope you have a great day and amazing life cos you deserve it!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



Note: I guess I’m addicted to gifs now HAHAHA. *Insert stuff I can’t include here.. here”. And, if you’re still reading, I made the title “W02Y03” cos it’s the second week of my third year and I’ve been binge watching flash XD.

Also, if you’re not Christian, I completely respect your religious views and I hope you do the same for mine. LET’S SHARE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE!!!