Flash Post 017: Failures & Jenga

So it’s been a month and 12 days since school started and I’m still relatively okay. I’ve failed an exam already and I’m pretty sure I also failed the other exam I took on the same day, BUT I did pass one exam. I know 1 passed exam and 2 failed exams isn’t a particularly good start, but that’s exactly it! It’s only the start of the semester and I can still turn things around! I know I failed because I didn’t study enough, so I’ll make sure to study harder for the coming exams.

It’s my first time using my free internet, so I decided to post a flash post cos’ why not? I don’t really have anything to motivate you guys or to rant about, but I’m writing anyway because I love writing and there isn’t any reason why I shouldn’t write right now.

Well, probably statics, but I can study after I finish this haha.

Yesterday, I realized that Jenga isn’t just a game of stacking wooden blocks and taking pieces of it till’ the tower of blocks eventually crumble. No. It also tells something about love. See, the loser in Jenga is the one who causes the tower to fall down due to their move, while in love, for some people, the loser’s the one who falls first. And it’s a really scary thing to fall, well for me, at least, because you’re suddenly in this state of imbalance in all, or some, aspects of life wherein a single move can break you into pieces.

BUT the good thing about it is that when you fall, it’s not impossible for you to put yourself together again. You’ve got to learn from it and move on. It’s not an easy thing to do, I know, but it’s possible and if Jenga blocks can be stacked back together, so can we. It isn’t the best analogy, but it makes sense.. right?

Well, it’s a good thing I’ve never fallen for someone who does not and will never like me back HAHAHA.. *looks at past posts, especially the ones written by high school me*.. Umm… Well.. at least I’m good at constantly putting myself together again HA..

But seriously, I’ve never fallen THAT hard for someone and I hope that when I do, if I do, I’ll fall for a person that likes me back.

Besides the Jenga logic, I’d also like to give a shout out to all the people who help me get through life one day at a time. To those who help me understand the lessons, who make the class fun by being bubbly and energetic, who sit beside me and occasionally converse with me, who agree to me riding with them even though we’re not that close, to those who agreed to be partners with me (SERIOUS LIFESAVERS RIGHT HERE!!), to the one who I think is trying to reject me in a friendly way, and to everyone else who do seemingly little things that mean a lot to me — THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I should probably make a “Thank you!~” board or something because, really, without my family, friends, and these acquaintances (friends, really, but I don’t know how you feel about me) of mine, I don’t think I’d make it through a day. Seriously.

It might look like I’ve got loads of free time, but I don’t. And I should probably improve my time management skills ASAP. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post “My Favorite Things 00X” soon because I noticed I haven’t written one in a while.

Till’ next time~~~

ALSO, I haven’t slept in class for two days in a row and that’s a record for me already haha. I did have coffee today, but it still counts…

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LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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A Tablespoon of one big mess~

I’m failing at least one class this semester and all but two, at the most. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating about that and this is, for sure, my worst semester in college, regarding academics. I’d like to call this my rock bottom semester cause’ I seriously don’t think any semester could be as remotely bad as this one. This is the last wake up call semester I need for me to do more than get my shit together.

I don’t actually know what I’m gonna do after getting my grades for this semester. I actually don’t know what the consequences of the grades would be, so I don’t know what I can do about it either. But I’ve learned a lot of things this semester, realizing most of it by the end of it, so that’s what this post is going to be about.

1. “Time management is key.” AF

I remember saying that my resolution this year is to manage my time more wisely, but as you can probably infer, I failed horribly. I wasn’t able to manage my time and prioritize the things and ended up procrastinating and cramming everything in the last minute. This tip is probably a cliche for college students, like me, by now, but it’s easier said than done and I, personally, I need to be reminded of this every. single. minute. And more specifically, time management should consider EVERYTHING, such as spontaneous getaways and emergencies. Planning to finish the projects just by the nick of time or planning an all-nighter to finish studying for an exam falls under the poor time management category. Plan and schedule your time in a realistic way, considering, as I said, E V E R Y T H I N G.

2. Study. EVERYDAY FREAKING DAY. 

Okay, so this might sound unreasonable to some,  but I honestly need to study everyday. I sleep usually fall asleep during my classes, which is a terrible habit of mine I’ve had since preschool, so I need to catch up with my lessons by allotting more time in studying. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is I eat dinner while watching something, probably a movie or an episode of KDrama, then I end up finishing it and spending a bit more time relaxing. After a few hours, usually at 9 pm, I start studying, then falling asleep on my desk. HORRIBLE.

So, I really need to allot two to four hours of pure studying each day to catch up and to be able to understand the lesson and to get enough practice. And to not cram chapters worth of lessons in one night, or four hours before an exam.

3. Take GENUINE interest in what you’re learning.

I went to my classes. I tried not to sleep in my classes. I tried studying for my classes. But I honestly didn’t like my classes. If it weren’t required, I wouldn’t have taken the courses I enlisted for this semester. The only class I did like was Accounting and that’s because I’ve been hooked to business since third year high school. So, I think it’s also very important to make yourself interested and passionate about what you’re learning. I know that’s a rather challenging thing to do, especially when you’re pursuing a course that wasn’t your choice, but to make the semester a bit less painful, we’ve gotta try to like the classes we have to stick with for the duration of the semester.

4. Make time for you and your passions, too. 

While school, family, and social life are important, you’re well-being is as important as all of those things. And by making time to make sure you’re well-being is in good condition, I mean to check if your sanity’s still intact, if you’re eating properly and getting close to enough sleep, and if you’re still able to do what you actually are passionate about. Now, when you make time for you, consider the hours of sleep you’d want to have, depending on whether or not it’s a hell week, and squeezing your “relaxation” and leisure activities with the activities related to your passion into a fair amount of time. Because, as I said, I usually get a bit too relaxed and ending up spending more time relaxing than studying.

5. Take a daily dose of positivity! 

It might be hell week and/or things might not be going your way, always remember to keep a positive attitude and look at the brighter side of life. Most times, this is easier said than done, like most things, but it’s essential to get through the semester alive. You need to be happy with yourself, to be thankful for all the blessings you have, and to have a fighting spirit all throughout the semester.

6. Spend your money wisely. 

Although this isn’t school-related, it’s still a lesson I learned during this semester. I’m constantly saving up for something, which is alright, but I’ve got to be wise about how I spend my money. I went to a convention and spent more than a thousand, I bought a stuffed toy for a person I admire a lot, and now I’m saving up for shipping fees, but to me, who loves anime and likes that person, it’s worth it. Though, in the long run, spending my money on those things aren’t exactly wise. I’m working on it and I’m planning to allot a certain percentage of weekly allowance savings to put in the bank, so yay me.

There you have it, six of the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way this semester. I might not be as well put as I’d want to be and I have miles to go before becoming the woman I want to become in the future, but it’s a start and I’m a work in progress, so to the me who’s trying so hard to figure out what she’s gonna do in life, give your best and be passionate about everything you do today and God will reveal His plans to you at the right time.

I hope this post somehow helped you, too, or at the very least, realize that even though this my life’s kinda messy right now, if I’m getting through it with my head held high and I’m slowly trying to apply the lessons I’ve learned from yesterday’s mistakes, then so should you :). And always remember that you are God’s masterpiece. You are beautiful and you make this world brighter. Things might be shitty right now, but please don’t give up and know that I believe that you will get through whatever challenge it is you’re facing.

Till’ the next time~

With so much love, The Girl With The Pen

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

DAY THREE: Rocky Road

Like any other attempt to achieve goals, mine have obstacles and hardships. Really, I don’t think there’s an easier path for these kind of things, there is no shortcut. The fact is that there are a lot of factors that can hinder us from what we want, what we want to be, where we want to go, and the like. The question is whether or not we let those factors overpower us and completely stop us from reaching our dreams.

Today, I really failed to do anything progressive towards my summer plans, specifically the gym workout plan. See, the gym’s only open during the afternoon every Sunday and we had to go somewhere majority of the afternoon. Then, my mom tells me not to go anymore cause’ it was too late. Wow, I really suck a lot for this. I sound like a person making up reasons not to go. And it sickens me.

If a person really wants to achieve something, he’d find all the means possible to go closer to achieving it, not making up excuses cause’ he finds it too difficult to achieve due to a lot of problems along the way. It’s not that I’m saying people who give up are weak, but it’s for a fact that if you give up, you really won’t be able to reach your goal, at all.

It’s okay. It’s really okay to fail sometimes. It’s okay to feel sad about failing or committing a mistake. We’re human, after all. We’re all flawed in our own ways and have our own strengths and weaknesses. We feel emotions, like happiness, sadness, despair, and what not. It’s perfectly normal to fail at some things and feel very sad about it.

But, don’t ever give up on your dreams. Sure, there’ll be a lot of trials and we’ll commit a lot of mistakes and failures along the way, but that’s life. It’s not this wish-granting factory or anything, rather it’s a world where you have to give your everything and do your best to be able to achieve your goals in life. Make sure that when you fall, you’ll get the courage and knowledge from your failures to get back up.

Personally, I feel like a failure today for not being able to go to the gym, but that doesn’t mean I should just sulk about it and stop my progress for one day. No. I will continue going to the gym and I won’t let all this lack of motivation and depression get to me.

I hope you continue pursuing your dreams too, my dear readers, despite the rocky path you have to take to achieve it!!

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Delete Before Further Errors

Remember when I said I wouldn’t have a crush this third year? And remember when I said I broke that vow since the first day? Yeah? Well, it sucks.  Having a crush may seem usual and all for other people, but not for me. Oh, gods, not for me. I take crushing seriously. 

First, I don’t go telling people I have a crush on this guy, considering the consequences of probable humiliation and ignoring that might follow. Second, I usually have only one crush at a time. Although I think a lot of guys are cute, only one holds a tight grip to my eyes. Third, I don’t flirt. I am disgusted with the whole concept of flirting. I mean, we’re only high school students and you’re acting like a flirt or slut or whatever. Ew. 

So, this post is to forget everything before damaging long term plans. This happens EVERY YEAR. And you don’t make the same mistake thrice, the last two times were a decision, and I don’t want this year’s decision to lead to failure, AGAIN. 

How? By expressing things in this blog. What can I say? Um.. a letter:

Dear 116.

This is entirely not your fault. I don’t even know why I’m writing this but yeah, I want to forget your significance. You’re just so above-average cute. Like, really. Could you be more cuter? But, that’s it. You’re cute and that’s probably the only reason I like you. That’s all.. I guess.. hahahhaa.. good luck with that love thing.