Flash Post 015: Summer Rant

Summer isn’t exactly going the way I planned. But then again, what does?

Summer term classes are alright. It’s a bit challenging for me because of the mindset that it’s supposed to be SUMMER. I end up spending more time watching Korean drama or movies,  sleeping way to early, and waking up WAY to late. The bed seems more appealing than usual, even though I’m not all that tired. It’s not like I’ve cut class or anything, I was just almost late ONCE. But it’s still unusual because I usually wake up at least two hours before my first class. NOT 45 minutes.

Besides school, I’m still experiencing a terrible case of writer’s block. It’s been 19 days since I last posted an entry in this blog and I’m really inactive in my Wattpad account. And it’s just really sad. It’s summer and I love writing, so why can’t I write? I need to learn more about how to write better and to actually write.

I still haven’t loss any weight. Due to my schedule, I can’t go to the gym, so I need properly stick to my diet and to get more exercise. I don’t exactly know how to do that, yet. But I want to skate and to be able to do that right, I need to be healthier and more fit.

And it’s just a bit saddening to still be me while other people are evolving and doing great in life. Just a thought.

(Note: So summer’s kinda sad, right now, but it’s gonna be alright and I’m alright. I’ll make sure my next post is a lot more positive and decent than this haha.)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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Puzzles

Have you ever just let yourself laze around with feeling only a slight tinge of guilt? Well that’s basically what I’ve been doing since last Thursday, right after I pass my final requirement for last semester. I’ve gotten my grades for all but one class, but I know my grade in that class, anyway. So, I’ve passed 6 out of my 8 classes last semester (well, 4/6 if you don’t count PE and community service) and, honestly, that’s better than the worst case scenario I had in mind. I’m sad that I didn’t pass all of them, but I really had a hard time this semester, especially with those two classes, so I’ve accepted it already and I’m just gonna have to take them again.

So, I’ve done nothing “productive”, in particular this past weekend. I’ve been trying to install a game that I’ve wanted to play for such a long time. But for some reason, it wouldn’t work, so I’ve given up on it. I’m a bit pissed cos I really wanted to play it, but life goes on and I need to work on mine. YES, I’m writing this post cause’ I can’t play the game. NO, I won’t be trying to install the game again. YES, my several failed attempts to install the game served as a wake up call for me to get my shit together, even though it’s technically summer.

What am I planning to do this summer? I don’t really know, yet. I guess I’d want to try going on a diet, again, to lose weight. Exercise a bit. Try becoming more of an adult cause’ I’m almost not a teenager. Write as much as I can, both in this blog and in my Wattpad account. Learn new skills, both practical and not-so-practical. Paint more and try digital art. And spend time with my family and friends.

Why am I writing all that down here? It’s my blog. It’s been my blog for five years and counting. And I just need to get my act together, so I’m writing it all down. Here.

So, I guess that’s that. Hopefully, I’ll be able to write again this week. I’m probably going to post “My Favorite Things 003” soon, so stay tuned. Or not. HAHAHA.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

(Note: The title of this post is “Puzzles” cos it’s better than my initial idea, “Sh*t Gathering”, and I just think that I need to put the myself back together again. NOT GOING THROUGH ANYTHING. JUST ONE HUGE MESS OF A HUMAN BEING. BUT EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT.)

Also, a sneak peek of my next post (aka what I’ve been doing with my summer, so far)

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DAY ONE: Realistic

Realistically speaking, I don’t know shit about anything related to going to the gym, healthy diets, and to losing a heck load of weight within a month or so. I was supposed to start going to gym today, but due to the circumstances, I won’t be able to start today, rather tomorrow. So now,  I’ve been browsing and printing stuff about effective workouts and diets, but it really is like a foreign language to me.

During the previous times that I’ve attempted to go to the gym, I didn’t follow any concrete routine or anything. I just went there, used cardio machines for about an hour, tried lifting some weights, then headed to the sauna. That’s it. I found out that I should be progressing my workout routine every day or every week, but, ugh, I really don’t know.

No one’s pushing me to do all of this though. My parents are content with me just using the machines and going to the sauna, but I really want to see some improvement in my body size, weight, and activeness in doing stuff. Honestly, I’ve been lying around all day, so far, this summer. It’s sickening, really.

I think I badly need a professional trainer or shit, but I don’t think I’m comfortable with the ones in my gym, and it costs a lot of money. Going to the gym alone requires a lot of money, much more with a personal trainer. If only I’d understand the terms and actually have the guts and energy to perform all those shit in the gym, I can do it alone. I can and I will.

I guess I’m going to spend this day planning out the things I will do this summer and fix my room. I need to practice sleeping all by myself, too, since UNIVERSITY.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

I Should Really Lose Weight

This is really embarrassing to write about but I would have to admit that I have a problem in order to solve it. I’m fat and overweight. Whenever I look at myself in an full size mirror, I can’t help but criticize myself for having such a huge and ugly body and the huge possibility that I might never have a husband or kids because I’m unattractive and crap. It’s such a sad thought, I know, but it’s realistic enough to be acceptable in this society. 

I look at those slightly chubby or skinny girls and envy them for having such great bodies. Yeah, I know envy is one of the mortal sins but, has anyone in this freakin’ world never feel envy for even a moment? I don’t think so. And whenever I see those pictures in facebook of girls in bikinis or normal clothes saying how fat they are when they really aren’t. I’d like to murder them at times (kidding). 

So, I’m positive that I still have a chance to change things. Well, I believe everyone has the power to change their lives, in general, by doing something other than their usual routine. I mean, how do you expect change when you won’t bother to change something? It all starts when you realize what’s wrong and decide to do something about it. 

I’m probably going to the gym again this summer. Haven’t eaten rice and drunk soda for almost a year, so YAY ME! I really hope I would get thin this summer because prom is just a block away and I don’t want to be one of those girls that are too fat for their gorgeous outfit. I want to buy a dress rather than renting it cause’ it would be mine.

Oh, before I forget, I’ve been reading an awesome novel in wattpad ( http://www.wattpad.com/11542849-chubby-ako ) It’s really relatable, except that Janella (main character) is too lucky, you’ll see why when you read it.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE