Flash Post 046: Sunny Days & Rainy Nights

It’s been really sunny lately. Well, sunny during daytime, but it’d rain really hard during the night. I’ve been doing better these past couple of weeks. September came by really fast and it’s the second week of October already.

I’m happy to announce that I passed most of the first exams I’ve taken so far. The psychology exam I took last last Friday hasn’t been returned and I have yet to take my midterm in my accounting class. Although the scores I got aren’t really that high, I’m very much content with them.

I took two second long exams last week and, through God’s graces and mercy, I really hope I pass both of them. I’ve only successfully crammed weeks worth of knowledge into one night and did exceptionally well in the exam a few times and, honestly, I don’t remember anything about that class anymore and it’s only been a year. Sadly, I don’t think I retained any of the information enough to last a month.

That being said, it is NEVER a good idea to cram that much knowledge into ONE NIGHT. I know it’s difficult and, often times, we’d rather binge watch or hang out with friends during our “chill weeks”, but it’s ALWAYS better to study gradually everyday. I haven’t actually done it yet, but I’d imagine it’d make our “hell weeks” less hectic.

I have a quiz tomorrow, a long exam the day after tomorrow, and a midterm exam next Sunday. I haven’t actually studied for any of them yet, but there’s still time and as long as I don’t procrastinate this week, including today, I’ll be fine.

I really really hope that I get my life together, at least enough to pass all my classes this semester. I’m a work-in-progress and, as long as I keep trying, doing my best, and trusting God, I know I can do it.

On that note, I’d like to share one of my favorite worship songs. Honestly, there were times during this semester when I felt helpless and really lost, but each day is a testament of God’s love for me. I’m very thankful for everything and everyone He has blessed me with.

(I don’t really know why I felt like writing and maybe this wasn’t really value-adding to you, as readers, but I just needed to write and remind myself not to cram everything in one night.

And I hope I can share God’s love and word with others with enthusiasm and passion. Also, let’s all hope I can write a post a bit more decent than this one haha.)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Resulta ng larawan para sa today is the day the lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it

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Flash Post 037: The Beginning of The End (of My Third Year in College)

It’s almost finals week!! Well, it’s practically finals week already, but technically, it starts this Friday. I have an approximately 3 exams this week, a paper due tomorrow, and a presentation on Thursday. Basically, it’s almost no different from any other hell week I’ve experienced this semester EXCEPT I actually need to legit more than survive this one because IT’S FINALS AND I NEED TO PASS ALL BUT ONE (I’M SO SORRY! I STILL FEEL SUPER BAD ABOUT THIS BUT I NEED TO PRIORITIZE THE CLASSES THAT I ACTUALLY STILL HAVE A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE AT PASSING) OF MY CLASSES!!!

But first, let me just share the first paragraph of a post I’d written almost (10 days short) 2 years ago:

“Okay, so it’s my finals week this week and I’ve only been reviewing for the exams the night before th actual exams!! I’m so horrible!” -Me, Flash Post 001: My First College All-Nighter

If reviewing for exams the night before the actual exams is so horrible, then I’ve been doing an incredibly horrible job at studying this WHOLE semester, especially during the times when I’d cram weeks-worth of knowledge into one night. Like what I’m doing tonight. HA.

I was supposed to have an exam a while ago, but it was moved on Thursday so YAY FOR ME. Except I kind of put off studying for my exam tomorrow because of said supposed exam a while ago, so there’s that. But it’ll be alright. I just need to not mess up studying tonight.

I’m posting a blog post now because I might not be able to post until after finals week (unless I really feel the urge to do so). I really really really hope (and NEED) to pass all of my classes this semester and figure out how to enlist the major I’m about to fail this semester in my university’s other unit. Lord, please help me!!

And since it’s already the end of this flash post, might as well write that I kind of sort of miss him a bit already even though it’s only been around a month since I got the chance to properly hang out with him again (psssh..). I’ve already sort of kind of accepted that the next time we’d get to properly hang out would be during the next academic year (like how I accepted that I’m gonna fail that one major hahaha sahd), but it’d be nice to see him every now and then this week and the next.

I’m still not (and probably won’t be in the near future) over him. But I’m fine and we’re fine. It’s alright.

FINALS WEEK IS COMING AND MY THIRD YEAR IN COLLEGE IS ALMOST ENDING!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Image result for finals week cute gif

 

Flash Post 036: 11 Hours

It’s 3:22 am and I’m currently studying for an exam I have today which will start at 12:30 pm. I’ve already finished two exams this week and this is my last exam for the week, so I’m pretty happy that I’m still relatively alive and sane right now.

Might as well write that I’ve (sort of) given up on this class since before the second long exam WHICH isn’t something ANYONE should do. At that point in time, I still had two long exams and a final exam that could really still boost my grades up. After that, I decided to invest my effort on the classes which I still might have a chance at getting a high grade by the end  of the semester. Long story short, I’ve decided that the class was a lost cause and my performance in that class continued to go downhill from there.

UNTIL last Thursday when my professor told me that I might still have a chance at at least passing the class. I’m not really sure why he’s that optimistic (yes, at least passing is a VERY optimistic thought for someone who’s given up), but I might as well give it a chance and, as my mom would always say, it’s not over till’ it’s over.

How am I cramming WEEKS worth of knowledge and understanding into approximately NINE hours before the exam, well I’m trying to really understand the processes since my professor told me it’s pretty mechanical. Youtube videos of the lessons are very helpful and HOPEFULLY I could give it my best effort, or at least the best effort I could manage at this point in time.

You might be wondering (or not) why I still have the time (and nerve) to write a blog post if I’m super busy studying for the exam, it’s because I need to keep myself awake for the next nine hours (well, 11 hours.. counting the exam.. because I shouldn’t fall asleep.. DURING THE EXAM!) and writing is helping me not only by keeping me awake, but it’s also very enjoyable to be able to express my raw (unprocessed..?) thoughts here again after so long.

And, after all that’s happened, I think I’m back to square five (aka 20% progress). I just don’t see the point of having to make an effort to move on when, after a few clarifications about things, there’s no real reason to do so. It’s true that I’m still (a bit) awkward, that we’re most likely going to be nothing but good friends (hopefully, great friends) in the near (and a bit far) future, and that I still like him, but THAT’S okay and whatever will be will be, I guess. THANKFULLY, it’s still not awkward, in general, and I hope it never does. If you’re reading this (not likely, but still possible), thank you.

It’s 3:52 am and it took me approximately 25 minutes to write this whole thing. Subtracting it from the time I have left to study for my exam, I still have A LOT OF TIME to study!

(Let’s try to be as optimistic as my professor! Yay!!)

Image result for keep moving forward gif

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

 

Flash Post 033: 50-Day Free Trial

Me: So today marks the end of my 50-day trial of the year 2018.

Life: There’s no free trial. You were given 365 days this year and you’ve managed to live through 50 days already. 

Me: What do you mean “There’s no free trial”????



Today is the 50th day of the year and I kind of want a redo of most of the 49 days I’ve already spent this year, but of course that’s not possible. Right now, I have two options: to see it as 49 days down the drain and my year is ruined OR to recognize that I still have 315 days and 13 hours to live this year to the fullest.

Of course I’m choosing the second option because I haven’t actually done anything that’s extreme enough to ruin this only 50-day old year (HEY IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!). It’s just that sometimes it gets really sad that I start to question my life choices. Not that I don’t question them on a regular basis, but it’s gotten a bit more frequent and I’m not really asking the same questions as before.

I guess I’m mostly sad about the fact that I’ve managed to destroy my “no sleeping in class” streak (of two weeks) with “OH MY GODS I SLEPT FOR MOST OF THE CLASS” streak (of three weeks), the anxiety I feel about that Engineering Economics exam I took about two weeks ago which hasn’t been returned yet, and some other problems I’d really rather not discuss or think about.

I have a debate tomorrow, an exam on Wednesday, an exam on Saturday, and an exam on Monday. I’ve gone through worse, but it’s kind of the fact that all of my exams will be the first I take for those classes and I’ve sort of slightly forgotten how to actually study for exams over the break, so yes  I need to get my shit together more than I usually do to get through these next two weeks.

I’m alright and everything’s going to be fine and I hope you’re doing great, as well. Let’s get through all our problems (that we are able to solve right now) together! ❤

Also, to the guy who might be reading this (I say “might” but there’s a greater chance he’d never get to read this in this lifetime), thank you for continuously considering me as a friend and for being the nicest and most considerate crush  I’ve ever had. It took me a while, but I think I finally fully understand what you said about effort. See you around!! 🙂

I better resume the little progress I’ve done in studying for my exams. If you’re looking for a sign to have a fresh start after 50 days into this year, this is it. Today is a new day, the sun is shining brightly, and it’s never too late to decide that this year is going to be your year.

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Image result for cute motivational gif

Image result for cute motivational gif

Image result for cute motivational gif

 

Image result for cute motivational gif

Image result for cute motivational gif

Flash Post 017: Failures & Jenga

So it’s been a month and 12 days since school started and I’m still relatively okay. I’ve failed an exam already and I’m pretty sure I also failed the other exam I took on the same day, BUT I did pass one exam. I know 1 passed exam and 2 failed exams isn’t a particularly good start, but that’s exactly it! It’s only the start of the semester and I can still turn things around! I know I failed because I didn’t study enough, so I’ll make sure to study harder for the coming exams.

It’s my first time using my free internet, so I decided to post a flash post cos’ why not? I don’t really have anything to motivate you guys or to rant about, but I’m writing anyway because I love writing and there isn’t any reason why I shouldn’t write right now.

Well, probably statics, but I can study after I finish this haha.

Yesterday, I realized that Jenga isn’t just a game of stacking wooden blocks and taking pieces of it till’ the tower of blocks eventually crumble. No. It also tells something about love. See, the loser in Jenga is the one who causes the tower to fall down due to their move, while in love, for some people, the loser’s the one who falls first. And it’s a really scary thing to fall, well for me, at least, because you’re suddenly in this state of imbalance in all, or some, aspects of life wherein a single move can break you into pieces.

BUT the good thing about it is that when you fall, it’s not impossible for you to put yourself together again. You’ve got to learn from it and move on. It’s not an easy thing to do, I know, but it’s possible and if Jenga blocks can be stacked back together, so can we. It isn’t the best analogy, but it makes sense.. right?

Well, it’s a good thing I’ve never fallen for someone who does not and will never like me back HAHAHA.. *looks at past posts, especially the ones written by high school me*.. Umm… Well.. at least I’m good at constantly putting myself together again HA..

But seriously, I’ve never fallen THAT hard for someone and I hope that when I do, if I do, I’ll fall for a person that likes me back.

Besides the Jenga logic, I’d also like to give a shout out to all the people who help me get through life one day at a time. To those who help me understand the lessons, who make the class fun by being bubbly and energetic, who sit beside me and occasionally converse with me, who agree to me riding with them even though we’re not that close, to those who agreed to be partners with me (SERIOUS LIFESAVERS RIGHT HERE!!), to the one who I think is trying to reject me in a friendly way, and to everyone else who do seemingly little things that mean a lot to me — THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I should probably make a “Thank you!~” board or something because, really, without my family, friends, and these acquaintances (friends, really, but I don’t know how you feel about me) of mine, I don’t think I’d make it through a day. Seriously.

It might look like I’ve got loads of free time, but I don’t. And I should probably improve my time management skills ASAP. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post “My Favorite Things 00X” soon because I noticed I haven’t written one in a while.

Till’ next time~~~

ALSO, I haven’t slept in class for two days in a row and that’s a record for me already haha. I did have coffee today, but it still counts…

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LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

When I’m Gone

I love you and you should have know that by now. You’re very important people in my lives and you’ve been that way since elementary. I know a lot has changed since then and we’ve gone our separate paths, but the way I feel about you didn’t and won’t change.

I miss you and you should have known that by now. I always plan everything out in the hopes that those plans might just push through. I do my best to arrange something that everyone is comfortable with. I am clingy and persistent af. And all of that is worth going through just to see you.

I might be the only one feeling this way and I really should have known this by now. I feel like all of you have your own lives right now, lives that I’m no longer a part of and it’s just sad to think that you’re still a huge part of mine.

I have academics and other stuff, too, but you know what? I’d gladly make the time for you, given the chance. I know you and I are two different people, but sometimes, a part of me wishes you’d do that for me, too.

So, I’m done. I want to try being without you and not missing you that much. I want to live my own life, like you guys do. But, if you want to talk or chat or hang out or sleep over or whatever ANYTIME AND ANYWHERE, I’ll be here, though I won’t be waiting around anymore.

(Note: OKAY SO THIS IS ME BEING SELFISH AND HURT. IF THEY CAN LIVE WITHOUT ME, I CAN’T. I HAVE TWO EXAMS NEXT WEEK, AND ONE EXAM FOR THE NEXT TWO FOLLOWING WEEKS EACH, BUT I WANT TO SEE THEM SO FUCK IT. BUT, THEY HAVE THINGS TO DO, SO FUCK ME.

AND IF BY CHANCE THE PEOPLE I AM REFERRING TO READ THIS, I’M SORRY IF I’M TO CLINGY, NOSTALGIC, PERSISTENT, AND DRAMATIC. I’M NOT MAD OR ANYTHING. I JUST MISS YOU. IS THAT SO WRONG? PLEASE CALL ME WHEN YOU CAN.

Oh, and the image below is from Google. Credits to the rightful owner.)

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LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

I’m Falling to Pieces

(Warning: This particular blog post is a complete rant post and I doubt that I’ll be able to write any inspirational shit, even towards the end, so I suggest you read some other post of mine. If you want to read a shitty rant about an university student’s confusion, be my guest.)

So, it’s only been a month and two days into my second semester attending college and I’m an absolute wreck. I honestly don’t know how to proceed with life anymore. I have a Chemistry exam on Monday, a Physics exam next next Monday, and a Math exam next next Wednesday, above everything else. Not to mention that I’m so far behind on my lessons because I’m a student who’s a slow learner and a poor time manager. It’s the worse combination, trust me.

I don’t even know where to begin, at this point in time. I’m stuck in this vortex of hopelessness, stuck between wanting to do the things I want to do and knowing that I have to do the things I need to do. I hope I’m making sense, but who cares.

I know that it’s not the end yet, heck it’s only the beginning, but I don’t know how. I don’t know how to balance it all out. I’ve been settling for what I think I could manage to do every day, but by doing just that won’t get me to the future that I want to be in- a future where I’m an independent strong reliable woman who knows and loves what she does. WITH WHO I AM NOW, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO TO ACHIEVE THAT, HUH?

And, of course, I know the answer to that: I have to work my lazy ass off studying my lessons every day, so that I know what’s up and not struggle to catch up. I need to manage my time more efficiently to be able to do both the things I want to do and the things I need to do. I need to prioritize my to-do list, so I’d know which ones to do first. I have to actually follow my to-do list, so I won’t have to end up cramming everything at the last minute. I have to listen to my mother (because I’ve realized that the cliche saying is actually true- mother knows best, I swear it’s 100% proven, well at least to my mom).

I have to get my shit together because nothing good is going to come out of me not doing my best. Settling isn’t enough. I have to push myself to be able to achieve the goals that I’ve set for myself. It’s my fucking life and I need to get my act straight. If I continue things as it is, I won’t be a better person, I won’t be able to make a positive impact in the world, I won’t have the future that I’ve always dreamed and worked hard for, and everything else that I won’t be able to do and I won’t have JUST because I was unable to fix my life. I’m shattered and I need to somehow get all the pieces of myself back together.

(Note: HAHAHA.. this post is basically a shitty rant, so there’s no need for a note, really. It’s just depressing. I’m a very forgetful person, I forget how shitty I felt and how shitty I feel and end up continuing the shitty feeling. And it’s even worse cause’ it’s 2 AM and I’m still fucking awake. Goodbye for now.)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE