Would You Be So Kind?~

I’m not hoping or wishing for anything.

I’m honestly fine with how we are.

I  just.. like you.

I don’t want to mess it up, but I think it’s fine if I leave that here.

And now every love song I hear reminds me of you.

Which sucks in it’s own way, but it’s not that bad to think about you.

I love Dodie!! ❤ ❤ ❤

P.S. This makes me want to try playing the ukulele now!!

AND YAY FOR MY 7TH POST THIS MONTH!!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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Flash Post 020: Is this blog even mine?

Because I keep writing about someone else.. 😦



I don’t know what I’m gonna do ’bout me liking you,

See, I think about you ALL THE TIME –  it’s distracting.

Should I stop this – just be friends? Is that what I should do?

Or should I keep this up – see what the future will bring?



I’d love to continue this poem, but I’ve only allotted 15 minutes for writing this and my time’s almost up. I think about the guy too much already, so I can’t let thoughts of him take up more of my time.

I should probably just stop this cos’, rather than him being just a happy crush, it’s become a sort of infatuation wherein I over think too much and it’s getting really.. alarming.

I think I’m allowed to post this since it’s highly unlikely that he’d read this and, even if he does, I doubt that he’d care.

Since, in his perspective, this poem isn’t for him and he’s not the person that I like.

Am I making sense? Well, sometimes it’s alright not to.

Well, he’s that sort of person – ever so slightly oblivious – but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.

I guess, he just doesn’t know.

Or does he?

Probably not, but who knows?

Image result for pineapple gif

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

P.S.

Dad, if you’re reading this, please don’t talk to me about it. If you do, I will change my URL or stop this blog and move to some other blog website. I swear.

To The Boy I Liked Once Upon A Time

I’d forgotten how scary it is to like someone,

To be extremely happy with them just being there.

I’ve liked a lot of guys, it could’ve been anyone.

But with you, I had no choice, it was like breathing air.

 

Let me just say that it is so hard not to like you.

For your beautiful smile, the sound of your laugh, I fell.

And the way you listen to me, that’s actually new.

I want to talk to you more, but these words- I won’t tell.

 

 

I like how we are now, I don’t want to change anything.

I really want to know you more, but for now, it’ll do.

Maybe you’d stop, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

Still, thank you, for today was a bit brighter with you.



 

I CAN’T BELIEVE I WROTE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! I was browsing through my old high school notebooks and I found this little poem of a hopelessly romantic person. We might have changed and I might not like him in the same way anymore, but this poem remains the same and it was all real, once upon a time.

To clarify, this poem’s writer didn’t experience heartbreak due to the addressee. We became close friends and I just realized that I loved him as a friend, not in a romantic way. Funny how I used to really like the guy I’m now super close to.

Okay. Au Revoir~

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Someday we’ll know…

As an avid reader of romantic novels and shoujo manga, I’ve grown to love the idea of “love”, referring to romantic relationships. I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I read a very sweet line or when something good happens to the main characters. I can’t stop reading until I’m finished with it. And even after that, I re-read about a dozen times, only going back to the favorite parts though. I think about how nice it must be to be in a relationship with someone you love and loves you back- waiting for each other, going on dates, giving each other presents, and the like.

And as an avid reader, I also know that with all those wonderful things come with pain, sacrifice, and the risk of getting heartbroken. I think loving someone means giving them all of you and you accepting all of that person (yes, I love the song, okay?). That’s a lot to ask for from people. And being in a relationship requires time, effort, commitment, and loads of other stuff.

What’s my point? Well, I don’t think people shouldn’t rush in falling in love. It’s really difficult to give all of yourself when you’re not ready yet. Before you fall in love with another person, you’ve got to have already established a strong love for yourself and I don’t mean in a narcissistic way, rather in a way where no matter who leaves you and who hurts you, you won’t lose yourself and be strong enough to continue living, even if you’re alone.

And timing is also very important. You can fall in love with the right one at the wrong time and it won’t work out. You’ve got to make at least enough time and effort for that special person, or else you might drift apart. If what you two have is really love, I believe that both of you can wait for one another. If you truly love each other, you’re going to grow together and when the right time comes, when both of you are mature enough to make the right decisions for yourselves, it’s going to be magical.

Personally, I think it’s a hassle to date while being students. It could just be me, but I’ll put it out here all the same. A relationship just asks for so much of a person and I don’t think I can comply. But, to those couples who make it work, even if they’re just students, I truly salute you. I salute the way you guys balance acads, love, family, social life, sleep, family, and all those other stuff. I believe that as long as you love each other and make the time and effort, you will get through it. I think that way, you get to know your partner more, actually, cause’ you get to do academic-related stuff together, stress through hell weeks together,and what not.

I’m a hopeless romantic and an optimistic and as long as it’s really love, I believe in it.

 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

(I JUST FINISHED HEROINE SHIKKAKU AND I HAVE A CHEM EXAM TOMORROW! HA HA HA.. IN OTHER NEWS, THE CROWN WILL BE RELEASED ON TUESDAY!! AHHH!!

Oh, and I have 0 experience in being in a relationship, so I don’t know what really goes on. I just read a lot of novels and manga to know enough, I think. Enough to not want to be in a relationship while I’m still in college. Hassle. AND IT’S NOT LIKE ANYONE WOULD COURT ME ANYWAYS, RIGHT? I FIND IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANY GUY TO COURT ME AS I AM NOW. Makes me curious as to how I’ll actually find a guy who loves me when I’m older HAHAHA.

AND IF EVER I OFFENDED ANYONE, I’M TRULY TRULY SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL IN YOUR LIVES.)

 

 

Illogical

*Warning: This is a completely idiotic and non-sense post about how I think about my current crush. If you’re looking for an inspirational post, I advise you to browse through my other posts. I’m sure I’ll have something to accommodate your needs.*

Now playing:

I don’t even know how to start with this post. It’s just completely unreasonable to be thinking like this about this. Why am I even thinking about this?Ah well, you must forgive me, at times, for being such a teenage girl filled with hormones and shit.

I really don’t know. I’ve gotten a bit closer to my crush since we’ve been hanging out with friends and we’ve been talking about stuff. And I’m practically losing my mind. It’s like I miss him even if we just haven’t talked for a day or two over the phone when I’m away or he’s away. It’s stupid.

Why do I even care when he barely cares about me? I’d think it’s okay if he felt a bit the same way, too, but fucking hell, I know he doesn’t. It’s really stupid of me to be gushing and ranting about this, but as I said, I’m quite hormone-y right now.

And I realized that I’m in love with the idea of having a relationship, well the good side of it. It’s very impractical for me to commit to something like that cause’ I really can’t commit to anything. I just want someone to act all couple-y with, hang out, care for, and the like. It’s selfish, really.

Oh well, this is completely useless and I’m writing this in a really terrible manner. I’m not even sure if I like the guy as a crush, anymore, or if I’m just really distancing myself from the idea cause’ I know this, whatever this is, is going to end and I’d probably mope around when it does.

I guess I’m content with getting to hang out with him and being his sort of friend. It’s really fine.

And I’m going to college, anyway, so college guys.. hahaha.. B-BAKAA!!

It’s just a crush anyway.. nothing more.. nothing less..

I’ll just laugh while reading this, in the future. I’m sure of it.

I’m laughing now… HAHAHAHAHHA :))

Okay, I’m going….

SAYONARAA~

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Playing Cards

(Note: This post is mostly about my current crush, but I’m pretty sure you’ll pick up a lesson or two by reading this.)

Before, I wasn’t really the type of person that believes in “timing”. I usually chose just to jump for the things I’ve been over thinking quite a bit because if I kept on just thinking about them, I wouldn’t be able to take action. Those things usually compose of crazy stuff like asking someone I’m not really close to for a favor because I really need his participation on something, calling out a certain someone to give him the gift I picked out for him, confessing to someone I hardly really know, and the like. Yes, I am that sort of person that does (somewhat) stupid things like that and I don’t really regret doing them; I just realized that timing does matter and one has to play his cards right in order to win the game.

If you’ve played a game or two of cards, you’d know that strategically choosing the cards you play is very essential to winning the game. You might have great cards, but if you don’t use them properly, you might still end up losing. And there are times when you think you’ve got the worst cards possible, but as long as you know when to make use of them, you could still win.

It’s not that I’m comparing love to a mere game of cards, but really thinking about it, they do have their similarities. One decision leads to another one and each decision one makes affects the whole thing, controlling your fate in winning or losing. There are a lot of factors that could affect both, but of course, timing is a crucial factor. And, this time, I really don’t want to mess anything up.I don’t want to lose just because I didn’t properly use my cards at the right time.

But, then again, when is the perfect timing for these kind of things? I guess I could say that the perfect timing for these things, really, is when I’m older and more knowledgeable about life and such. Right now, I’m still really young, innocent, and inexperienced with things. There really is no need to rush with these kind of things. I’d say that what pressures youth to grow up and decide important decisions about relationships in such a young age is society and the peer pressure around them.

You have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend? It’s perfectly fine. You’re in a relationship? I’m very happy for you, two. I hope you’re happy together, too. Really, people should just stick with what they’re happy and comfortable with. If you feel like having a boyfriend/girlfriend just to catch up with everyone, then whatever relationship you’ll form with that kind of thinking is a really temporary one. Relationships and commitments are supposed to have love as the foundation, not some standards that society had set for us. When you’re with someone, you should be happy being together with that special person, not feeling like it’s an obligatory thing. And, personally, I think you should be able to imagine a future with that person if you’re really serious about them. I mean, if you really love and care for that person, why wouldn’t you want to be with them for the rest of your life?

I don’t really want to assume anything, at the moment. I mean, it’s really nice to be able to see and actually talk to him, especially when it seems like I’m not the only one who wants to keep it alive. I still have so much I want to know about him, so much to tell him, and so much to figure out. He’s not that perfect guy that I always thought he was, but knowing him better makes me actually like him more. I really don’t want to mess this up.

Oh gods, I hope I made this post ambiguous enough. Oh well. Sayonara~

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

The Truth?

*WARNING: What you are about to read is a somewhat general post about crushes and how I feel about my latest crush. If you are looking for inspiration and the like, THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU. I’m sure I have several posts that can accommodate you on that.*

As of now, I have had several (to be more specific, I’d say approximately 20) crushes. I’m the type to admire someone easily and quickly and I quite hate that about myself. It’s fairly difficult to have a crush, especially if you take crushes seriously, like me. It’s really annoying and, for some reason, no matter how many times I make the mistake of having a crush, I commit it again and again.

Well, I guess having a crush isn’t that bad, but it’s still a somewhat distraction to more important things, like studies. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a distraction, but you cannot deny that your way of thinking when you have a crush and when you don’t have a crush is different, even by a measly neuron.

My crush, right now, is a really decent guy. I admit that he has flaws and what not, but doesn’t everyone? I have been liking him for quite some time now and he’s just constantly in my mind. Of course, I can prioritize what I am thinking enough depending on the situation, but when I don’t have to think about anything important, I’d say he’s one of the thoughts that pop instantly in my head, along with anime and such.

I have only conversed with him a few times in the past, so I’d like to be able to talk to him more often so I’d get to know him better. It is really quite challenging to go up and talk to your crush, isn’t it? There’s this lack of possible conversation starters, an awkwardness to some degree, possible inferiority complex, problems of over-thinking, and the like.

I guess I just have to gather enough courage to come up to him and talk to him frequently. Oh these teenage girl hormones and rants!! I just want to know him well enough, probably become his friend, then maybe later on, become closer to him (even as a friend, I really don’t mind).

Oh, and something I’ve discovered only recently is that one can grow to love the idea of loving someone, but then, when that times comes when you actually love someone or are in a commitment/relationship with someone, it’s totally different. If I take crushes seriously, then I’d say that I take commitments and relationships more seriously. I don’t want to have a relationship with someone I can’t imagine a future with. What then is the actual point of that? And, besides, it’s not like I’d be in that kind of relationship anytime soon (actually, anytime within the next 5-7 years), so I still have loads of time to think about these sort of stuff.

I’m going to give you some advice that I have come up with through the years. Note that these advice is made up by an amateur like me and I haven’t had any experience of serious romantic relationships EVER (and I’m not planning to have it anytime in the near future), but I have had experiences in confessing, being rejected, talking with my crush, etc, so I hope this somehow helps you.

1. It’s alright to take initiative, whether you’re a girl or a boy. How could you even notify him/her that you exist when you don’t make him/her notice you (even just a little bit). Conversations and subtle compliments will do.

2. Don’t get your hopes up too much. Though it’s nice that you’ve progressed through conversations and such, it’s better to not get too carried away by things. It’s highly possible that you’re just another acquaintance/friend to him/her and that he/she is polite enough to respond to you.

3. If you are seriously crushing on someone, don’t tell too many people about it. Most people want to humor themselves with your stories and rants. They might even gossip about it and share it with other people. BEWARE!

4. Don’t seem too awkward. Don’t over-think the smallest of situations, like if he/she doesn’t respond quickly or if you haven’t seen him/her for a while. Chances are, they’re just living their lives with their own personal priorities. Although, do be sensitive if you know you’ve said something unpleasant or inappropriate.

5. Be yourself. I’ve watched plenty of romance movies and read romance novels to know that pretending to be someone you’re not is NEVER okay. Why would you settle for someone who doesn’t like the real you? So, it may not be your crush, but I do believe that will be someone who accepts you, no matter what. You deserve to be with that person.

Well, that’s everything I could write, as of the moment. I bid you good luck with all your endeavors. Ja ne~