Summer Paradise

All my finals are over and I’ve passed everything I needed to, so I guess this marks the end of my freshmen year in college. I’VE FINISHED MY FIRST YEAR IN COLLEGE!! GODS!! I’ve never felt so free in my life. I don’t know my grades yet though, well except for Physics, but that just makes this the perfect time to enjoy before knowing and probably crying (I sure hope I didn’t fail anything though. That would suck BIG TIME!).

Okay, so it’s also the start of my summer, yes, summer. And I have loads of plans, big, fun, and slightly crazy plans for this summer! Okay, more on the adventurous side than crazy, I suppose, but what’s the fun without a bit of crazy?

Gym is a given, especially with the upcoming event next month. I need to suffer undergo the GM (General Motors) diet  again, which requires a lot of sacrifice, regarding food and partly well-being (healthier but no sweets or whatever huhu).

Besides physical fitness stuff, I’m planning to write as much as I can, not only in this blog, but I’ll try writing some stories. I was thinking of making a tumblr for story requests because it could be good practice for me. I’m also planning to make my other blog, Adventure is Always Out There, active by doing more adventurous stuff and experimenting (with cooking, art, etc.) more.

Ah and I’ll probably try improving my time management and being organized. I was really terrible this semester and I never want to go through that kind of hell ever again. It was the worst. THE WORST, I TELL YOU. Not because of the teachers, oh gods no, and not because of the classmates either (they were all awesome, to be honest). It’s more of because I was horrible at time management, so I was terrible with my classes, and everything just went down like that. But, I’m sure I’ll pass everything. I have to.

It’s summer after all. Who knows what’ll happen.

As always,

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

 

Advertisements

Insomniac Problems

Someday, I’m going to read this blog from top to bottom, reminiscing memories of sleepless nights, a hell lot of school work, life experiences and their lessons, and the like and I’d probably just laugh at it. Assuming, of course, that I live long enough to have a family and become a full pledged adult, which I hope I do. Although, sleeping later than 12 am isn’t the best lifestyle for healthy living, now is it? 

I just finished my World History homework while watching my new favorite television series, Doctor Who, and I think I deserve this time to write and just express myself here in this blog of mine. I seriously cannot contain my feelings about the tenth doctor and rose. I totally ship them. I do have a crush on David Tennant’s doctor, but their still my OTP. 

Lately, my goal has been to just survive life and get through with it. I don’t want it to stay like that. I fear that my grades are going to decrease this third quarter, causing me to get really sad. It’s been hard, really, fighting with this depression I seem to have, struggling to maintain that smile on my face. It’s a lot of work.

It’s almost 3 o’ clock in the Sunday morning and I don’t want to sleep. Let me rephrase that, I CAN’T SLEEP. Thoughts rushing through my mind about Doctor Who, grades, and the boy I’ve been crushing on for about a week. He’s nothing special, and he’s not ordinary either. I don’t know. He’s completely unstable and weird and maybe a little creepy at times, but for some strange reasons, I like him, a lot. Oh, Gods! These must just be the effect of teenage girl hormones. 

I am completely mental. Insanity is my middle name. I’m happy. I’m depressed. I’m lonely. I’m realistic. I don’t know anymore. I need help, really. And this blog post isn’t really going well. It’s like a huge sign saying “I BADLY NEED SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP!”. But psychological help is expensive. I need to get my shit together and fight for what I’ve been fighting for in the first place, my goals, my grades, my future. 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

You Got Me Caught In Your String. I Got the Scissors In My Hands, Ready to Break Free and Fall.

I dreamed about you again last night.Not just you this time but it was about you and me, us.It was kind of amazing, a little too amazing.You were there, I was there, then you held my hand. I tried not to make it awkward so I started swinging it and pretending it’s a casual thing. Cause’ I’m done with whatever this shit is. I don’t know if it’s you or I’m just really really crazy, about you.

Cutting out all the crap, I don’t know what to do. My dreams have already taken over me while I sleep, and I won’t let it beat me while my eyes are open This is me. I’m the boss here. There’s a reason why the brain is higher than the heart. And I’m going to follow it, not wanting to hurt myself again.

This post is really emotional (emo) and shit. I don’t know why. I’m not really heartbroken or anything. The title pretty much explains everything. I’m stuck liking some guy who sorta has me going nuts. I have the tools in my hands to destroy this lock he has on me and fall, ready to get hurt cause’ at least I’m free.

Hahahaha.. THIS POST.. 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Before

I was born kind of like any other normal human being in this planet called “Earth”. I started life which was meant that I signed some contract that states that as long as I’m alive, I have to continue living, learning, and loving no matter what happens. 

Childhood came by quickly, maybe because I don’t remember much of it. I used to play in the park with my village friends which was a lot fun. We played with bikes, light sabers, toy cars, kittens, etc. We came together every afternoon to simply enjoy. I’d return to my house at about 6 o’ clock. But, as the years passed by, the number of kids who played in the park decreased. At a blink of an eye, we were all gone.

It’s true that life is like a roller coaster. It has its up’s and down’s, loops and turns, and a load of shouting and cursing. It’s very uncontrollable and, at times, scary. But, there’s the Guy behind the operating machine known as God. He doesn’t give us anything that we couldn’t handle and he’s never going to abandon nor forsaken us. We have no choice but to hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

I’ve been writing songs, stories, poems, essays since I was just an innocent kid. I’d write about anything. I even wrote a song about “Life blazing by”. It’s funny, looking back at it now, thinking that I was meant to be a writer or something. Although, I’m not planning to take it up at college. 

High school didn’t make life any easier, it somehow made it more.. um.. difficult? Finding yourself while studying isn’t that smooth. I’ve started learning more stuff about life and school. I was.. well, am, still very quiet but crazy on the inside. I became insecure about my weaknesses and flaws, met friends and people that served as lessons to me, had some crushes that probably didn’t know that I existed, and more.

I also learned how to smile without my heart, fake some faces, say words that I didn’t really mean, and the truth behind those lies. In exchange? My innocence and truthfulness. I’d like to have it back, but ignorance is blindness to the reality of the world. 

I had to release these emotions, both happiness and sadness, somehow right? Well, to be continued 😉