It’s 3:22 am and I’m currently studying for an exam I have today which will start at 12:30 pm. I’ve already finished two exams this week and this is my last exam for the week, so I’m pretty happy that I’m still relatively alive and sane right now.
Might as well write that I’ve (sort of) given up on this class since before the second long exam WHICH isn’t something ANYONE should do. At that point in time, I still had two long exams and a final exam that could really still boost my grades up. After that, I decided to invest my effort on the classes which I still might have a chance at getting a high grade by the end of the semester. Long story short, I’ve decided that the class was a lost cause and my performance in that class continued to go downhill from there.
UNTIL last Thursday when my professor told me that I might still have a chance at at least passing the class. I’m not really sure why he’s that optimistic (yes, at least passing is a VERY optimistic thought for someone who’s given up), but I might as well give it a chance and, as my mom would always say, it’s not over till’ it’s over.
How am I cramming WEEKS worth of knowledge and understanding into approximately NINE hours before the exam, well I’m trying to really understand the processes since my professor told me it’s pretty mechanical. Youtube videos of the lessons are very helpful and HOPEFULLY I could give it my best effort, or at least the best effort I could manage at this point in time.
You might be wondering (or not) why I still have the time (and nerve) to write a blog post if I’m super busy studying for the exam, it’s because I need to keep myself awake for the next nine hours (well, 11 hours.. counting the exam.. because I shouldn’t fall asleep.. DURING THE EXAM!) and writing is helping me not only by keeping me awake, but it’s also very enjoyable to be able to express my raw (unprocessed..?) thoughts here again after so long.
And, after all that’s happened, I think I’m back to square five (aka 20% progress). I just don’t see the point of having to make an effort to move on when, after a few clarifications about things, there’s no real reason to do so. It’s true that I’m still (a bit) awkward, that we’re most likely going to be nothing but good friends (hopefully, great friends) in the near (and a bit far) future, and that I still like him, but THAT’S okay and whatever will be will be, I guess. THANKFULLY, it’s still not awkward, in general, and I hope it never does. If you’re reading this (not likely, but still possible), thank you.
It’s 3:52 am and it took me approximately 25 minutes to write this whole thing. Subtracting it from the time I have left to study for my exam, I still have A LOT OF TIME to study!
(Let’s try to be as optimistic as my professor! Yay!!)
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE