Flash Post 030: I NEED TO SLEEP

Tomorrow is the first day of my second semester being a third year student and I’m having a hard time sleeping. It’s like the night before a field trip when you’re feeling excited and nervous at the same time. I’m super excited to start a brand new semester with new professors, new classmates, and a new schedule (which isn’t half bad, really), but I’m also nervous because of the same reasons.. new semester.. new professors.. new classmates.. new schedule. AND A NEW DORM! Ugh too many new things! Can I have another week to process all this?

Of course not.

So here I am, trying to express myself, through writing, to let go of some of my thoughts and feelings. I need to sleep soon cause’ I don’t want to sleep in class ON MY FIRST DAY.. or in the coming days. I want to break that habit, so I need to get proper sleep at least tonight.

But that’s probably not happening.

Starting tomorrow, I won’t be going to the same dorm I’ve stayed in since I was in first year, I’ll be following a different schedule which means I’ll have to adapt to this new schedule sooner or later, and I’ll probably be missing my schedule, classmates, and professors from last semester and the Christmas break that has come to past.

But it’ll work out – that I’m sure of! I just need to fix the things I need for tomorrow before going to bed and take ALL OF THIS one step at a time.

Let me end this post with a few of my favorite verses and some cute motivational .gif’s! As always, I am proud to be a Roman Catholic and whether or not you have the same religious beliefs, I respect you. So I ask you to do the same for me. Thank you and let’s all spread love and happiness!! ❤

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The Start of the BEST CHRISTMAS BREAK Ever!!

I am FINALLY done with the first semester of my third year in college!!!

Honestly, this semester has been a sort of messy mix of a lot of things. There were times I just wanted to get it over with, but there were also times I felt that it was time was going too fast – I wanted more time and I didn’t want some things to end. I guess part of the reason why it felt faster than it should’ve was because there were simply too many suspension of classes. I think cumulatively, we had about 3-4 weeks of no classes this semester and that’s A LOT of days.

I liked my schedule, my professors, and the groups of classmates I had for this semester. They were all great and I wouldn’t have preferred to have it any other way. Sure, I had this one class where we didn’t meet for about 2 MONTHS, but we ended up with substitute professors who were wonderful in their own ways. I had a class that was sandwiched between two majors, so I had to go from one building to another, then back, but, most times, I don’t regret not cancelling that class. What I thought would be really hassle Tuesday’s and Thursday’s turned out to be my favorite days of the week for this semester.

Actually, I think about that quite a lot. There’s a lot of things that could’ve gone differently if I had done some things in another way. I know it’s like that for everything, but I especially felt it during this semester. It’s true even for seemingly minor decisions at the time – one thing led to another and now, it’s a bunch of things. I can be a very impulsive person who acts purely upon emotions, but I can also be the type of person who plans everything out and over thinks EVERY LITTLE THING. I don’t always get to choose which kind of person I am, most of the time, so I think by now you understand how a little thing could’ve resulted to an EXTREMELY DIFFERENT SEMESTER!

I say that and I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t also think about what it’d be like, but I’m pretty happy with how the semester was. As I said, I had a great schedule, great professors, and great groups of classmates, so thinking about those kinds of things is unnecessary. I’m super thankful for all of that and for the continuous love and support I receive from my family and friends. Honestly, I couldn’t have survived this semester if not for all of them, so thank you, Lord, for blessing me with so many great people in my life.

I’ve also learned a lot of things from this semester, as you could notice from Flash Post 018: Things I Probably Shouldn’t Do Again..Flash Post 25: And The List Goes On.., and a lot of my other previous posts. It’d do me good to remember all these things and other stuff, but I think I’d forget it at some point, so I need to tag those posts here.

So much for this semester. Overall, I’m very happy that it’s over. I’ve got AT MOST 2 years and a semester more in college, so here’s to closing this chapter of my life and ALMOST starting a new one (let’s save that for my new year’s post haha).

Before then, I have A LOT of RiverdaleThe FlashShokugeki no Soma, etc. to watch over the break.

I hope you’re all doing great cause’ you’re amazing human beings and you deserve nothing less. This will be one of my many December posts and I’m looking forward to it.

I’m the girl, you’re the guy. What am I allowed to do?

You already know how I feel, so it’s up to you.

It’s one-sided. I’m selfish. But I want to see you.

I can find ways, but should I? What am I supposed to do?


But, as I wrote on my exam, I’m a “smart, strong, independent woman” who loves herself more, so this isn’t me desperately trying to ask someone for their time, rather, it’s me trying to figure out how “getting to know” works and what “opportunities” mean when I’m the type of person who can plan and make things happen if I really want to.

I’m a smart, strong, independent woman and whether or not we get to meet during this break, I’m going to have the BEST Christmas break of my life and I’m really more than just a girl who likes you.




Update: I’m starting to think that, although he knows, it’s still very much one-sided on my part. Of course it is. And maybe he’s just that type of person and I get that. I really do! We’re all some sort of person with our own personality and attitude and all that. But the least that anyone could do is…

Hmmm.. I don’t want to rant about him here because I like him and it’s one-sided and I just think it’s unfair to write about him negatively in public because he’s just really being him and I don’t want to rant about anyone who’s just being who they are.

Flash Post 28: In The Middle (of Finals Week)

Okay, so right now, I should be studying for an exam for the class where I’m still running for exemption from taking the finals. But I realized that there’s too many stuff going on inside my mind, so I decided to write a quick “Flash Post” before continuing my studies.

There are certain things I simply cannot think about right now AND that’s what this post is about, I think. To make things clear, I’ll neatly write it down as a list.

*Insert my name here*’s to-not-think-about list:

  • Whether or not I’m going to fail my Engineering Statics class
  • Whether or not I’m going to fail my Statistics majors class
    • Do not compute for the score you need for finals to pass.
    • Do not compare yourself with other people. You are your own person!
    • Don’t think you’re going to fail. Worse comes to worst, you still got that +2% attendance bonus!!
  • The mini movie house that just opened nearby
    • You ALREADY HAVE PLANS, so don’t do it. Just DON’T.
    • “Mother knows best.”
  • The guy I really like
    • You can deal with these kinds of things later, *insert my name here*. Now is NOT THE TIME TO BE THINKING ABOUT IT!
    • For Pete’s sake (who’s Pete?), DO NOT OVERTHINK!!!! It’s not helping anyone.
    • Rather than worrying over this, just think of him as an inspiration to slay finals week.
    • Okay, just don’t think about him and do your best 🙂 .

I just really need to get through this day and do great in my exam later, so that I can go home, be exempted from taking the finals for that class, and study for my only remaining final exam this Friday.


Bonus funny material:


It’s funny cause’ I really should be studying, but I stumbled upon it on Twitter. He should’ve still had a sign even though he’s not a “pa-fall” person. He’s just a reaaaaally nice guy that people have a tendency to like (or really like!), I think haha.

I really should be studying now, so bye.. for now 🙂

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Flash Post 27: 4 am Thoughts

Yesterday was really sort of depressing and, for the most part, I didn’t know why exactly. I’ve got ideas on why my day started out on the wrong foot, but most of them aren’t considered as a big deal, really. I didn’t do well on my exam the other day (which is probably the only one that’s a “big deal”). I had to wear a skirt and borrow sandals for school yesterday cause’ I didn’t have any pants that I could wear. I wasn’t able to finish my part of the homework (but I did most of it, anyway, so this is probably fine).

You think it’s the outfit, too, right? Yup, probably the outfit.

And the fact that it was the last day for a class I really liked (for all sorts of reasons, not so much the class itself, honestly) and I wasn’t prepared. Well, most people would be happy that we don’t have to go to class anymore tomorrow, but I’m kind of not.. happy about it.

As an over thinker, of course I just had to deprive myself of the pleasure of being “in the moment” by being sad about how it’s ending and how it’s gonna be the “last time”.

I hadn’t seen them in a week and I wish I hadn’t been sad about the whole thing.

The weather wasn’t feeling all the sunny either. And the last walk was the quietest walk we’ve had ever, I think.

I wish I could’ve said more stuff, but I was over-analyzing the situation, thinking shitty things, and I just felt kind of sick, really.

The point is, things could’ve gone better if I had done some things differently. I was just so anxious and sad, so it just kind of ended like that.


See, I thought that a close friend of mine (who I haven’t seen in a week) was acting kind of cold towards me (because we’re usually really kind of clingy to each other), but, as usual, I was just over thinking it and she’s a really great friend whose advice kind of gave me some peace of mind.

And I thought I was being a bother to someone who’s really considerate and kind and I’m sure he has flaws somewhere, but his good points outweigh his bad points, I think. It’s still a bit scary with this one, actually, to the point where I end up not doing anything cause’ I’m afraid that I’d do too much (cross some invisible line, maybe?) and scare him off.

But, as my close friend said, people actually tell you whether or not you’re a bother (well, too much of a bother since some of them can tolerate a certain level). And while I know most people aren’t like that, I know they are. So I hope they tell me if I’m bothering them too much.

And then there’s my mom. I knew what I had to do, but I still did the thing I knew I shouldn’t do. Last night was a mess, but my mom’s still the best. I seriously doubt there’s anyone else like her.


And it’s actually still very scary to be left alone, really.

But that’s for another time. I still have two exams today and let’s go, derivatives!

To the person that I like,

Even though you know I have a blog, already, I highly doubt you’d be reading this, so I’ll just leave it here.

I hope you don”t get scared cause’ I’m really afraid I’d scare you off. I really want to get to know you better cause’ I like you and I think that’s normal. Please tell me if I’m bothering you too much because that’s one of the last things I want to do.

ALSO, I’ll admit I did some pretty stupid things, but please don’t dislike me for that reason, if you’ve come to that realization. We’re both alright with it now and just don’t bring it up. Just properly talk things out.

Am I a very messy person right now?

It’s 4 am and I’ve only had 2 hours of sleep.

Do I still love my life?





Flash Post 26: A Really Messy Post

(I’m turning 20 years old next year… I kinda don’t want to.)

It’s 9 am and I’m here writing at my dormitory. Good thing I don’t have an 8:30 class anymore. I would’ve been late for that if I did.

I didn’t do so well on my exam yesterday. I studied more than I  did the past exams, but I should’ve practiced more by answering more exercises.

“There comes a point in a person’s life” wherein they know they’re screwed, mid-exam.

But my mom says I shouldn’t give up yet, since there’s still finals and she didn’t raise a quitter. And, well, “Mother knows best”.

So, I have 2 exams tomorrow, an exam on Saturday, 2 exams next Monday, an exam next Tuesday, an exam next Friday, and finally, an exam next Saturday.

A grand total of 8 more exams left for this semester.

In less than 2 weeks…

I’ve survived a lot worse.. And hey! I’m exempted from taking the finals for one majors class.

There are a lot of things that could’ve gone better if only I had done something differently. I could’ve avoided a lot of arguments with my mom/parents if  I had a different tone or if I had said something different. I could’ve done better at school if only I wasn’t sleepy, lazy, and stubborn. I could’ve had more friends if I wasn’t so damn awkward.

There’s a million things I could’ve done, but I didn’t.

And this post is getting sad, but that’s kinda how I feel right now. Because of the previous line though, I thought of something that could turn this sad frown upside down!

“There’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait.”

Which is a line from the spectacularly amazing musical Hamilton: An American Musical.

(I spelled the word “musical” correctly, but it’s underlined in red and it looks weird, when you really look at it.. Hmmm…)

MY POINT is that I’m only 19 years old and there’s still so much I could do.

Life isn’t over yet and, while I’m going to have to face a lot of challenges..

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I really didn’t mean for it to become a post full of bible verses, but I’m glad it turned out this way.

If you aren’t a Christian, I still completely respect you and your beliefs. I ask you to do the same for me.

This post is kinda messy and I still don’t like the idea of wearing a skirt to school today.

Oh well…




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No? Well, I can, despite having about 15 days of school left. I haven’t really felt Christmas-y in a while (since I entered college, I think) so I’d say it’s a good thing to feel all warm and happy this time of the year.

Hmmm.. not as warm and as happy as I’d like to be, but the sun’s still shining and life is still (and will always be) beautiful.

Like me. HA. 

I just passed my extra homework a few minutes ago and I’m happily writing away inside our school library. It’s nice being able to write after finishing what has to be finished.. even though I wasn’t able to get all of the items. I should really do this more often.

I felt like writing a blog post the day before yesterday, but the title included the phrase “This is NOT a Decent Post” and I started ranting about a lot of things that make me sad, so I decided to stop and just go home.

I still have a class later and a lot of exams during the next two weeks, but for now, I can write and that’s good enough for me.

Happy December, everyone! I hope you’re having a wonderful day to start the month! If you’re not having such a good day, always remember that “Everyday might not be a good day, but there’s always something good in every day” and that you (YES YOU!) are a beautiful human being to whom God has given the gift of life for a special purpose. You might not know it yet (HECK I DON’T EVEN KNOW IT YET.. I THINK), but there is such a reason and you’re future will be amazing.

Personally, I have a lot to be thankful for and happy about! I’m studying in my dream university, taking up a course that I kinda like, surrounded by really awesome people, and having two (literal) places to call home (both with delicious food and sufficient WiFi!). So, this December, I’d like to focus on the positive things in my life and deal with the not-so positive stuff in a positive way!

Hopefully, I’d be able to post my new “My Favorite Things” board soon (probably a bit after the end of this semester). I’d also like to post something like an appreciation post for everyone who make my day better than okay (YAY!), a post reminiscing all the memorable moments this 2017, and a new year’s post posted a few minutes before 2018. HEY! THIS BLOG WILL HAVE SO MUCH STUFF GOING ON THIS DECEMBER! WOOH!

Honestly, 2017 has been a messy mix of good things and bad things, as most years should be, I think. It’s not easy being a year older than 18 cause’ it makes me a year shy of being 20 years and old and that’s just a bit too much to take in right now.

I still have a long way to go in the road of being the woman I’d like to become in the future. And sometimes, the stuff that my mom says, when we fight, get to me, to the point of me actually believing that it’s true, so that’s kinda sad. But I’m a work-in-progress and if I can’t believe it and my mom can’t believe it either, then what hope do I have?

I suddenly just thought of another post idea! I should probably write something for myself as a reminder of a lot of things.. because.. as I said.. I’M FORGETFUL AND STUBBORN AF.. aside from other things.

So there you have it! A kind of messy, but really happy, post to start this December! I’m pretty sure I’ll be busy these next two weeks, so I might not be able to post here, but always remember to…




P.S. Y A Y


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