W02Y03

Two weeks into the semester of my third year in college and I’m alright. I still have my sanity intact and I haven’t fucked up, last time I checked. I don’t really intend to fuck up this semester, or any semester (past and future) for that matter. Sometimes, I just do. But I’ll try my hardest not to this semester onward… Well, rather I’ll try my best this semester onward haha.

I’ve just recently realized that binge watching The Flash during weekdays (AND weekends) isn’t such a good idea. It basically just replaced KDrama and anime as my “Ah lemme give myself some slack during dinner” bad habit. I love the series and I love the characters and I love the plot (well, I’m kinda if-y about it rn), but I have to study and practice more, especially since I’m taking the subject that I dropped last semester and re-taking a class that I failed last semester, too. I’m already in season three tho so I might binge watch it this long weekend HAHAHA… after studying ;).

Lately, I’ve been feeling more “out of place” at a certain place. Hmm well I’ve never really felt “in place” at that certain place, but I think I’ve forgotten how it felt like ’till now. I mean, there are times when I feel like I belong there and I love being part of something as great as that group, but during regular days, it’s just a bit depressing. A friend of mine asked me if I’d join the same group if I had a choice (time travel or something) and when I first thought about it, I couldn’t imagine not joining that group because of how long I’ve been part of it. It’s not an “no”, but it’s not a definite answer either. But now my answer would be a “yes”, but I would probably change most of the stuff I did wrong and didn’t do in the past. I’m not asking for an out, just a redo. But that isn’t possible now either. I guess all I can do now is to adapt (which is a REALLY hard thing to do) and to improve myself. How I feel about that place isn’t their fault AT ALL, it’s just me and I need to do something about it.

Also, for this post, I wanted to appreciate all the people in my life. First of all, I’d like to thank my family. Yes, we fight A LOT (we’ve been fighting more recently), but no matter how intense and hurtful and hurt we can get, I love them so much and I can’t imagine a life without them. (I tried not crying while writing that, but I failed.)

Secondly, I’d like to also thank my best friends, especially my best guy friend and my best friend who stays with me even though she knows that there is never a moment where I’m “calm, cool, collected” (there’s just messy and really f*cking messy), for keeping me relatively sane. Although I don’t get to see most of them often, I make the time to chat with them and invite them to hang out cos I’m clingy af.

Thirdly, a big “thank you” to the people I’m not that close with (See, I’d consider them all friends, but I don’t know if they feel the same way) but who make everyday more enjoyable. Thank you for letting me ride with you to places, for letting me drag you to spontaneous dinners, for helping me with school works, for having delightful conversations with me, and for making the walk to class less tiring and actually fun.

I’m very grateful to these people and extremely thankful for having been blessed with such amazing people in my life. So for the last (but certainly not the least) thank you, I’d like to thank God for these people and for guiding and protecting and blessing me every single day. I commit sins and make mistakes, but I am a child of God and I believe in His word. Things might seem difficult, right now, but God has a bright future planned for me and I’m going to trust Him.

So there you have it! My supposed flash post that became the basic summary of how my life rn is going. I know I swore a lot, then ended with a very religious paragraph. See, I haven’t sworn off swearing completely, but verbally, I’m swearing a bit less haha.

Before I end this post, let me just include some gifs cos I love how I can include gifs in my posts now XD.

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I hope you have a great day and amazing life cos you deserve it!

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE



Note: I guess I’m addicted to gifs now HAHAHA. *Insert stuff I can’t include here.. here”. And, if you’re still reading, I made the title “W02Y03” cos it’s the second week of my third year and I’ve been binge watching flash XD.

Also, if you’re not Christian, I completely respect your religious views and I hope you do the same for mine. LET’S SHARE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE!!!

 

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I’m Going Back

Have you been so far away from home and felt that there’s no hope in going back? Was there times in your life when you had too many problems that don’t seem to disappear? Did you ever question something you used to believe in? Has life killed that innocent little child in you?

It’s really hard to admit but my answer is “yes” to every question above. It’s just that I feel that there’s no one really around to listen to me and give me advice. I mean, yeah, there are some true friends that spend time listening to me but, at times, there’s not online and I end up alone and troubled. I do have family but I just don’t really feel like opening up to them about these kind of stuff. It’s not that they wouldn’t understand me and give me advice but it’s just really hard explaining. But, hopefully, that would change because of what happened today. 

“What did happen today?” You may ask, well my dear curious reader, our school had organized us to attend some seminar/concert in the “Cathedral of Praise”. At first, I didn’t feel like attending since I’m not really interested in Christian teachings and stuff, but it was required so, I had to. 

Getting there was no sweat since it was near our school. Choosing a seat was quite hard since it was really complicated. In the end, I followed my heart and sat down by my close friends. I am so glad that I made that decision since because of it, I enjoyed the whole thing. 

We started the day by singing some songs. It wasn’t just songs, rather, songs that hit me like a meteor hitting the Earth. I was so affected and touched by the songs. It’s shouted at me. It was mostly about life being good and God loving us. That previous sentence is an understatement. It was something that hit me in my core. 

I am not the type of person that you would see praying in Church. I don’t pray that often and I usually sleep at the mass (I know it’s bad). I don’t believe that much in God since there is no proof and I can’t talk to him when I need help (like, a real conversation). I have a lot of questions about God and his existence. I am one heck of a teenager, I know. 

But, this morning, something changed. Those lyrics and teachings made me believe that I can trust God always and that would lead me on the road to success. He may not be here physically, but there is always prayer and the Bible. 

I actually teared up a bit since all my high school life, I was pessimistic and held the thought that life is a complete b**ch. Well, now I know that there would always be Someone I can count on, and that’s God.

I really wish I could keep this up. I mean, being good is good, right? Hihi 🙂

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE