SOS

Like Dodie, and I’m sure, a lot of people, I have no words for what’s happening to the world. Even though I’m not affected, I still feel the sadness and mourning and hopelessness and helplessness. I admit that I can never comprehend how the people who are actually affected by these recent events are feeling, but my prayers are with them and I pray, as well, for the whole world because God please save us.

And because I have no words, I can’t properly write about this, so rather than that, let me just leave this videos that everyone should really watch right now because we need this.

(Note: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING. I give all the credits to the rightful owners.)

For You, From This Slightly Awkward Writer

Honestly, I’m not really good at writing poetry,

But my feelings can’t be expressed so openly,

Tried writing a story, didn’t know how to start,

So, here I am, with the thoughts I’d like to impart.

 

 

I started liking you since the very first day,

You had a nice face; just a happy crush anyway,

And you indirectly caused this writer a sprain,

Got distracted, missed a step, didn’t feel much pain.

 

 

Class was fun enough, you made it kinda brighter,

Just for a moment, everything seemed bit lighter,

I was early, and you, either late or absent,

Any exchanges between us? Non-existent.

 

 

But, there was this one time, when we actually talked,

By that time, you were so much more than how you looked,

Just a brief conversation, nothing note-worthy,

But enough to make me feel giddy- so happy.

 

 

We’ve reached the final stanza, me saying goodbye,

A poem is too short, but I just had to try,

I’m happy to have crossed paths with you, an artist,

Did my feelings reach you? I hope, at least the gist.

 

(Note: Well, this is quite different from my usual post nowadays, and that’s actually good since my usual posts are a bunch of rants haha. Originally, I had planned to post this on Wattpad, but I changed my mind later on because of reasons. So, as you might have guessed, this is a poem I wrote about one of my happy crushes this semester, someone who I probably won’t ever see again.)

Love & Sorrow

Wouldn’t it be better not to have a heart to love someone? There’d be no heartbreaks, no one to miss when their gone, no disappointment due to broken promises and short-comings. There’d be neither neither selfishness for love nor selflessness because of love. People would live happier not knowing what it’s like to experience heart ache, despair, loneliness, longing, and hopelessness.

Nothing. 

But what would it be like living life without love? Sure, everyone would be happier, but what is life without love? We’d have this emptiness inside us that we don’t know. Ignorance is bliss, but we wouldn’t know how beautiful life would be with love. We wouldn’t know how wonderful it feels to love each other and how love is meant to be shared with others. We wouldn’t know how special an ordinary day can become if it’s spent with our loved ones.

Love can definitely hurt us, even kill us emotionally. Sometimes, we’d desire not to have a heart because of how tired we are of caring too much, loving too much. But in the end, love is what makes us understand other people, makes us feel passionate about something, and makes us feel compassionate and emphatic towards others. Love is what completes us as a human and it is love that gives us a sense of purpose to wake up every day.

So, treasure the love you feel for those precious to you. Stop chasing after someone who doesn’t love you because you deserve better than to waste the love you have on them. Give love to people who need it the most and put love above anger and greed and selfishness. Because the one who shares his love with all his heart is the happiest.

(Note: I JUST FINISHED NAGI NO ASUKARA AND OMG I’M JUST OVERFLOWING WITH EMOTIONS!! SUPER FEELS-Y ANIME, BUT SO WORTH IT!! I cried a bit, but that’s okay haha. And since I’m in the topic of love, as a Roman Catholic, I’d also like to bring up a few verses:

John 3:16 which states “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” and

Mark 12:29-31 which states “The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’g There is no commandment greater than these.'”. 

No matter how messed up the world seems, let us not forget that the greatest thing is Love. )

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Please Don’t Forget

I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget anything about my life. I don’t want to forget the people who made me feel loved and special. I don’t want to forget the people who have forgotten me already. I don’t want to forget the places I’ve been to and the things I’ve done. I don’t want to forget any of my memories and how I felt remembering them. I don’t want to forget the experiences I’ve had and how they made me feel. I don’t want to forget who I am and how I chose to live my life. I don’t want my life to disappear from my memory.

I want to remember the happiness I felt when I first saw my sisters. I want to remember how excited I was whenever it was my birthday and whenever Christmas came because I’d always celebrate with my family. I want to remember how awesome my childhood days were, playing around the park with my neighbors whose last name I didn’t even know. I want to remember how joyful I was whenever my dad came home.I want to remember how books and anime became my escape when reality was too much. I want to remember the good times I spent with my classmates. I want to remember how I felt hanging out with my friends and wanting it to last longer, every time. I want to remember how amazing I felt when I found out I got in my dream university. I want to remember how happy I was whenever weekends came and I got to go home and see my family.

I want to remember the sadness I felt whenever my dad left for work. I want to remember how much I missed the friends that have already left me behind and those I don’t get to see that often. I want to remember how sad movies, even if they’re not that sad, made me cry. I want to remember the pain I felt whenever I had a low score or grade. I want to remember how awful I felt during those times that I wanted to be in the star section, but I didn’t get in. I want to remember how hard it was to survive both my first year in high school and in college, the crying, the struggle, and everything. I want to remember all the things I’ve ever regretted, even those that lasted only for a little while.  I want to remember the bad times I had with my classmates, the loneliness I felt.

And most of all, I want to remember me. I want to remember how quiet and shy I was, though I hated that part of me and tried to get over it. I want to remember how I’d choose to stay home over some social gathering, even though I probably regret doing that. I want to remember how I planned my future when I was only in sixth grade. I want to remember how I wanted to cut my heart up and give the pieces to the people I love, to the things I love doing, and to whatever my heart beat for. I want to remember how I thought that would be better than having my heart for myself. I want to remember all the things I’ve forgotten, all of it. I want to remember how I thought pizza was happiness (because it is!). I want to remember how thankful I was to God for everything and everyone in my life, for his continuous guidance and protection. And I want to remember how I believed that love is the most beautiful and powerful thing in the whole wide world.

 

(NOTE: Okay, so I just finished watching “Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind” and though that movie didn’t really make me cry, how I felt about forgetting, especially the ones I love right now, kinda did. I don’t care if I get hurt, or if my heart breaks into shattered pieces, or if I suffer the pain of regret. I don’t want to forget anything, especially the things that made me happy, even if it was just for a little while, because it still did.)

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Flash Post 001: My First College All-Nighter

Okay, so it’s my finals week this week and I’ve only been reviewing for the exams the night before th actual exams!! I’m so horrible!

This semester is probably the worst I’ve had since ever! It’s like this wake up call that I should totally get my shit together that alarms every 15 minutes, but I press snooze every time, until it’s kinda too late now.

Ugh. Well, as long as I don’t badly fuck up finals, I’m sure I’ll pass my classes. This probably the only time it’s like that though cause’ I’ve never really considered failing until now. But I won’t!

I swear, this will be the first and the last time I’ll be this close to failing anything. This semester has been terrible, for me. Never again.

Someday we’ll know…

As an avid reader of romantic novels and shoujo manga, I’ve grown to love the idea of “love”, referring to romantic relationships. I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I read a very sweet line or when something good happens to the main characters. I can’t stop reading until I’m finished with it. And even after that, I re-read about a dozen times, only going back to the favorite parts though. I think about how nice it must be to be in a relationship with someone you love and loves you back- waiting for each other, going on dates, giving each other presents, and the like.

And as an avid reader, I also know that with all those wonderful things come with pain, sacrifice, and the risk of getting heartbroken. I think loving someone means giving them all of you and you accepting all of that person (yes, I love the song, okay?). That’s a lot to ask for from people. And being in a relationship requires time, effort, commitment, and loads of other stuff.

What’s my point? Well, I don’t think people shouldn’t rush in falling in love. It’s really difficult to give all of yourself when you’re not ready yet. Before you fall in love with another person, you’ve got to have already established a strong love for yourself and I don’t mean in a narcissistic way, rather in a way where no matter who leaves you and who hurts you, you won’t lose yourself and be strong enough to continue living, even if you’re alone.

And timing is also very important. You can fall in love with the right one at the wrong time and it won’t work out. You’ve got to make at least enough time and effort for that special person, or else you might drift apart. If what you two have is really love, I believe that both of you can wait for one another. If you truly love each other, you’re going to grow together and when the right time comes, when both of you are mature enough to make the right decisions for yourselves, it’s going to be magical.

Personally, I think it’s a hassle to date while being students. It could just be me, but I’ll put it out here all the same. A relationship just asks for so much of a person and I don’t think I can comply. But, to those couples who make it work, even if they’re just students, I truly salute you. I salute the way you guys balance acads, love, family, social life, sleep, family, and all those other stuff. I believe that as long as you love each other and make the time and effort, you will get through it. I think that way, you get to know your partner more, actually, cause’ you get to do academic-related stuff together, stress through hell weeks together,and what not.

I’m a hopeless romantic and an optimistic and as long as it’s really love, I believe in it.

 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

(I JUST FINISHED HEROINE SHIKKAKU AND I HAVE A CHEM EXAM TOMORROW! HA HA HA.. IN OTHER NEWS, THE CROWN WILL BE RELEASED ON TUESDAY!! AHHH!!

Oh, and I have 0 experience in being in a relationship, so I don’t know what really goes on. I just read a lot of novels and manga to know enough, I think. Enough to not want to be in a relationship while I’m still in college. Hassle. AND IT’S NOT LIKE ANYONE WOULD COURT ME ANYWAYS, RIGHT? I FIND IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANY GUY TO COURT ME AS I AM NOW. Makes me curious as to how I’ll actually find a guy who loves me when I’m older HAHAHA.

AND IF EVER I OFFENDED ANYONE, I’M TRULY TRULY SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO AND I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL IN YOUR LIVES.)

 

 

On Romance and Writing

I can’t deny that I love romance (and rom com) above all other genres of books and movies. I’m a total sucker for romantic novels and rom com movies. I don’t read the romantic adult pocketbooks though because I think I’m still a bit too young for that. I’m talking about novels by John Green, Stephanie Perkins, Keira Cass, and Rainbow Rowell, just to name a few.

I just finished “Anna and The French Kiss” a few minutes ago and “Lola and The Boy Next Door” about a week ago and I’ve been hooked back into romantic novels ever since. I’ve forgotten how amazing romantic novels are, probably because I’ve been more into anime and manga for the past few months (which isn’t such a bad thing, really). I’ve forgotten how words can take me away from reality and into this whole new world, how it feels to have butterflies in my stomach whenever there’s an incredibly sweet line or gesture or whatever, and how it feels like to be in love with the idea of love (and with fictional characters of course).

Someday, I want to write and publish my own romantic novel and/or write a script for a romantic (or rom com) movie. I’ve always been inclined to making up story ideas about romance that have, of course, it’s own twists and turns. Sure, some might think that it’s cliche or whatever, but there’s always something the author can do to change things up and still make it interesting.

I know I’m still an amateur writer who’s still very much inexperienced and still has a lot to learn. I know that I still have a long way to go before I can write a decent short story and an even longer way to go before I can write a decent novel. I know that I have yet to face a hundreds of criticisms, hundreds of rejections, and hundreds of other shitty things.

But I love romantic novels and movies. I love “love”. And I love writing. It’s what makes my heart beat faster. It’s how I deal with life when it gets a bit too much. It’s what I love doing. That’s why, no matter how hard it may be and no matter how long it might take, I’ll manage somehow. I’ll write, I’ll learn, I’ll improve, and I’ll write again with more knowledge about it than before. I’ll write and, someday, it’s going to be amazing.

(Note: WHY CAN’T I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT PHYSICS, MATH, AND CHEMISTRY? WHY CAN’T THEY BE LIKE ETIENNE ST CLAIR AND CRICKET BELL? UGH. In any case, I am loving Stephanie Perkins’ novels right now and I hope she writes more. I have yet to read “Isla and the Happily Ever After”, but I bet it’s as amazing as the two. AND I JUST REALIZED THAT ISLA IS IN “ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS” AND I LOVE HOW SHE DOES THAT! HOW SHE PUTS THE CHARACTERS OF HER BOOKS INTO HER OTHER BOOKS! But, just an advice, read “Anna and The French Kiss” before reading “Lola and The Boy Next Door” because you’ll get spoiled. BUT I LOVE THE BOOKS AND I LOVE STEPHANIE PERKINS!!)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE