Have you ever just let yourself laze around with feeling only a slight tinge of guilt? Well that’s basically what I’ve been doing since last Thursday, right after I pass my final requirement for last semester. I’ve gotten my grades for all but one class, but I know my grade in that class, anyway. So, I’ve passed 6 out of my 8 classes last semester (well, 4/6 if you don’t count PE and community service) and, honestly, that’s better than the worst case scenario I had in mind. I’m sad that I didn’t pass all of them, but I really had a hard time this semester, especially with those two classes, so I’ve accepted it already and I’m just gonna have to take them again.
So, I’ve done nothing “productive”, in particular this past weekend. I’ve been trying to install a game that I’ve wanted to play for such a long time. But for some reason, it wouldn’t work, so I’ve given up on it. I’m a bit pissed cos I really wanted to play it, but life goes on and I need to work on mine. YES, I’m writing this post cause’ I can’t play the game. NO, I won’t be trying to install the game again. YES, my several failed attempts to install the game served as a wake up call for me to get my shit together, even though it’s technically summer.
What am I planning to do this summer? I don’t really know, yet. I guess I’d want to try going on a diet, again, to lose weight. Exercise a bit. Try becoming more of an adult cause’ I’m almost not a teenager. Write as much as I can, both in this blog and in my Wattpad account. Learn new skills, both practical and not-so-practical. Paint more and try digital art. And spend time with my family and friends.
Why am I writing all that down here? It’s my blog. It’s been my blog for five years and counting. And I just need to get my act together, so I’m writing it all down. Here.
So, I guess that’s that. Hopefully, I’ll be able to write again this week. I’m probably going to post “My Favorite Things 003” soon, so stay tuned. Or not. HAHAHA.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
(Note: The title of this post is “Puzzles” cos it’s better than my initial idea, “Sh*t Gathering”, and I just think that I need to put the myself back together again. NOT GOING THROUGH ANYTHING. JUST ONE HUGE MESS OF A HUMAN BEING. BUT EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT.)
Also, a sneak peek of my next post (aka what I’ve been doing with my summer, so far)
I’m failing at least one class this semester and all but two, at the most. Unfortunately, I’m not exaggerating about that and this is, for sure, my worst semester in college, regarding academics. I’d like to call this my rock bottom semester cause’ I seriously don’t think any semester could be as remotely bad as this one. This is the last wake up call semester I need for me to do more than get my shit together.
I don’t actually know what I’m gonna do after getting my grades for this semester. I actually don’t know what the consequences of the grades would be, so I don’t know what I can do about it either. But I’ve learned a lot of things this semester, realizing most of it by the end of it, so that’s what this post is going to be about.
1. “Time management is key.” AF
I remember saying that my resolution this year is to manage my time more wisely, but as you can probably infer, I failed horribly. I wasn’t able to manage my time and prioritize the things and ended up procrastinating and cramming everything in the last minute. This tip is probably a cliche for college students, like me, by now, but it’s easier said than done and I, personally, I need to be reminded of this every. single. minute. And more specifically, time management should consider EVERYTHING, such as spontaneous getaways and emergencies. Planning to finish the projects just by the nick of time or planning an all-nighter to finish studying for an exam falls under the poor time management category. Plan and schedule your time in a realistic way, considering, as I said, E V E R Y T H I N G.
2. Study. EVERYDAY FREAKING DAY.
Okay, so this might sound unreasonable to some, but I honestly need to study everyday. I sleep usually fall asleep during my classes, which is a terrible habit of mine I’ve had since preschool, so I need to catch up with my lessons by allotting more time in studying. Unfortunately, what tends to happen is I eat dinner while watching something, probably a movie or an episode of KDrama, then I end up finishing it and spending a bit more time relaxing. After a few hours, usually at 9 pm, I start studying, then falling asleep on my desk. HORRIBLE.
So, I really need to allot two to four hours of pure studying each day to catch up and to be able to understand the lesson and to get enough practice. And to not cram chapters worth of lessons in one night, or four hours before an exam.
3. Take GENUINE interest in what you’re learning.
I went to my classes. I tried not to sleep in my classes. I tried studying for my classes. But I honestly didn’t like my classes. If it weren’t required, I wouldn’t have taken the courses I enlisted for this semester. The only class I did like was Accounting and that’s because I’ve been hooked to business since third year high school. So, I think it’s also very important to make yourself interested and passionate about what you’re learning. I know that’s a rather challenging thing to do, especially when you’re pursuing a course that wasn’t your choice, but to make the semester a bit less painful, we’ve gotta try to like the classes we have to stick with for the duration of the semester.
4. Make time for you and your passions, too.
While school, family, and social life are important, you’re well-being is as important as all of those things. And by making time to make sure you’re well-being is in good condition, I mean to check if your sanity’s still intact, if you’re eating properly and getting close to enough sleep, and if you’re still able to do what you actually are passionate about. Now, when you make time for you, consider the hours of sleep you’d want to have, depending on whether or not it’s a hell week, and squeezing your “relaxation” and leisure activities with the activities related to your passion into a fair amount of time. Because, as I said, I usually get a bit too relaxed and ending up spending more time relaxing than studying.
5. Take a daily dose of positivity!
It might be hell week and/or things might not be going your way, always remember to keep a positive attitude and look at the brighter side of life. Most times, this is easier said than done, like most things, but it’s essential to get through the semester alive. You need to be happy with yourself, to be thankful for all the blessings you have, and to have a fighting spirit all throughout the semester.
6. Spend your money wisely.
Although this isn’t school-related, it’s still a lesson I learned during this semester. I’m constantly saving up for something, which is alright, but I’ve got to be wise about how I spend my money. I went to a convention and spent more than a thousand, I bought a stuffed toy for a person I admire a lot, and now I’m saving up for shipping fees, but to me, who loves anime and likes that person, it’s worth it. Though, in the long run, spending my money on those things aren’t exactly wise. I’m working on it and I’m planning to allot a certain percentage of weekly allowance savings to put in the bank, so yay me.
There you have it, six of the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way this semester. I might not be as well put as I’d want to be and I have miles to go before becoming the woman I want to become in the future, but it’s a start and I’m a work in progress, so to the me who’s trying so hard to figure out what she’s gonna do in life, give your best and be passionate about everything you do today and God will reveal His plans to you at the right time.
I hope this post somehow helped you, too, or at the very least, realize that even though this my life’s kinda messy right now, if I’m getting through it with my head held high and I’m slowly trying to apply the lessons I’ve learned from yesterday’s mistakes, then so should you :). And always remember that you are God’s masterpiece. You are beautiful and you make this world brighter. Things might be shitty right now, but please don’t give up and know that I believe that you will get through whatever challenge it is you’re facing.
Till’ the next time~
With so much love, The Girl With The Pen
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
I’m down to my last month (more or less) of second year and I’m really gonna need to get my shit together to finish this semester without failing any classes. I really can’t mess up after two failed exams in both Math and Engineering Methods in Mathematics, a failed exam in Engineering Drawing (BUT HEY, ON AVERAGE, I’M STILL PASSING!), and two horrible horrible academic essays in College English. I’d admit that this was a really challenging semester, surprisingly even more challenging than the past two semesters. But with hard work, perseverance, determination, dedication, patience, … , and, most especially, God’s help, I know I can still save my grades this semester.
They say that the first step in overcoming a weakness is awareness and acceptance. With that said, let me just say that I cheated on my diet again this week and I feel horrible. How the first sentence is related to the second? They’re probably not (HAHA), but the point is that I’m aware and I accept that I’m overweight and that I need to lose a lot of pounds to attain the “normal” weight range for my age and height. To do so, I need to strictly follow a diet and to regularly exercise. It’s hard af cos of the stress due to schoolworks and also cos of the lack of time for exercise. I tried yesterday, I failed today, and I’ll try again tomorrow. I know and accept that I sleep in class more often than I’d admit and that causes me to lag behind lessons. So that fact, along with my poor time management, is the root cause of my dilemmas. I need to be more attentive in class and to fix my priorities to catch up with my classes. It’s really difficult to do for a person like me for a lot of reasons, such as being distracted easily and terrible sleeping habits. I failed yesterday, I succeeded today, and I’ll try again tomorrow.
I guess life’s just really like that, full of fluctuations and ups and downs. The important part is to never give up because once you’ve considered giving up or settling for less than the goals that you’ve been aiming for, then you’d be stuck with that mindset. I admit that I’m stubborn and I forget this a lot, but I just can’t give up on this semester. I can’t let my parents and myself down. I can’t afford to fail any classes, again.
So, I’m still overweight, sleepy, awkward, poor in time management, stubborn, forgetful, too easy on myself, and the like. But I’m also a work in progress and, despite all the negative stuff about me, I’d say there’s some good points, too. I believe in myself that I can overcome the challenges I’m facing with God’s help and I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that He has a plan for me. Without Him, I am nothing, and with Him, nothing is impossible.
I hope you’re having a great day and if you’re troubled with your own challenges, trust in God and do your best! Never give up! And don’t forget to share the love! ❤
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
(Note: This is the most decent and inspiring post I’ve written in a very long time and I’m so happy cos of it. This month would be a challenging one, especially with me trying to save my grades and my sanity, but I’ll fight a good fight and do my best. 🙂
Also, if you have a different religion with different beliefs, please know that I respect those beliefs and I’m just stating what I believe in. I’m not pushing anything on you, so please respect my religion and beliefs as well. Have a nice day~)
April 13, 2016: Four-ever and Ever!
“I’d like to say that I’ve changed a lot since starting this blog four years ago, but I haven’t or at least not in a grand dramatic scale. I’m still clumsy, poor at time management, pretty awkward, sleepy, overly-sensitive, and stubborn. It sucks because I’m TOO stubborn to learn from my mistakes the first time, or even the second and third time, it happens. But, I’m slowly, but surely, growing and hopefully, in the future, I become the kind of woman I want to be- strong, smart, independent, kind, and beautiful, above all other things. I’m in this constant state of fluctuating, up and down and up and down, but it’s a way of knowing that I’m trying and I’m changing.
I love this blog. It’s a place where I can pour my heart, thoughts, and feelings out. It’s always there for me- when I’m sad and lonely, when I’m happy and feeling incredible, and when I have the urge to write because of something I realized. I mean, sure, I have wonderful friends and a loving family, but sometimes, they’re not there or they can’t understand. Without this blog, I think I would’ve exploded because of my thoughts a long time ago. I love writing and I love this blog.
What happens from here on out? I don’t know and, although I have no way of knowing what happens in the future, the future I still have ahead of me, I want to keep writing for as long as I live, until my last breath, until my heart’s last beat.
This blog has been keeping me sane for four years and it will continue four-evermore!”
First of all, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my blog of 5 years and counting! Least to say, life has been a bit more challenging this past year. As an 18 year old, I’m already expected to act more like an adult- more mature, more understanding, more responsible, and the like. I don’t really know how to grow up yet, so it’s really been quite difficult.
I’ve only written 42 blog posts since my last blog anniversary post and that’s a lot lesser than my usual post count. Believe it or not, I wrote 44 blog posts last October 2012. 44 posts within that month. And now I’ve only posted 42 within a year.
I know I don’t write as often as I used to. I don’t write as much as I’d like to either. College has been really hard for me mostly because of my terrible sleeping habit and my horrible time management skills. I never learn from my previous mistakes and I’m still stubborn af.
It’s really hard to admit that little has changed since I made this blog. I thought by this time, I’d have most of my life figured out. I am blessed with so many things- a loving and supportive family, amazing friends, a roof above my head, and a lot more privileges other people could only dream of having. Not to mention that I’m living the dream– studying in my dream university and taking up a major I chose. So why am I still lost?
I miss having the time and inspiration to write. I miss being passionate about writing. I miss being able to do my best in everything I do. I really really miss the girl who’s this blog used to belong to. I don’t know how to get her back yet. I don’t even know if I’d ever get her back.
What I am proud of this past year is being able to serve God by being a lector in our church and being able to serve the community by teaching elementary students as part of my NSTP requirement. It’s not much, but I’m glad that even by a bit, I’m able to make a positive impact and I’m proud of that. I’m improving, even by just a notch, and that’s a good enough start.
So, yes, maybe I’m not the same Girl With the Pen that I was before and I might never be her again, but I’m still a work-in-progress- still learning and growing up. I believe that by this time next year, I’d be able to give a better report.
As usual, this post is kinda messy and I’m still kinda messy, but I’m working on it. I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank all my followers and readers. I know my posts aren’t always uplifting or inspirational, so I thank you for taking the time to read them anyway. I hope some of my posts are able to help you with what you’re going through somehow. Also, check out my book and anime recommendations in the Interests page. I could at least help you through that.
Hopefully, I’ll be able to post more and grow up more this year. I hope all of you are having a great day and, if not, always remember that there’s always something good in every day. Enjoy life and don’t give up, no matter what.
Love, The Girl With The Pen
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
(Note: Such a messy post huhu. I’m really lost rn with life, but I love life, in general. I’m positive that I can figure things out and get my shit together. It’s Holy Week, so this blog’s birthday is a lot less hectic than last year’s haha. Wishing ya’ll the best!)
I am absolutely in love with Hamilton: The Musical and this is one of my favorite songs. Hamilton is a beautiful masterpiece and if you haven’t listened to any of its songs, I definitely recommend that you do. They are all brilliantly written and the performances are spectacular.
I’m not really good at writing reviews, but the reason why I decided to post this is because I wanted to share something I have been hooked to and also because the musical portrays the important and not-so-important figures in history as humans beings, like us. They have strengths, weaknesses, different views, regrets, and the like. They make mistakes, they rise up after falling rock bottom, and the like. But even as flawed human beings, they became part of something huge and, excuse me for the Yuri on Ice reference, made history.
I actually gives me hope that even a human being as seemingly lost as I am can still create something beautiful and worthwhile. As a kid, the highest achievement that I thought I could make was to have my name in a history book and to have students have to remember me, at least for an exam. But now, growing up, the greatest achievement that I aspire for is to make a positive impact on people, to somehow influence their lives for the better. Being remembered, whether it’s while one is alive or dead, is a fantastic thing and I think all of us want to remembered in a certain way. But people ultimately, people will forget. So now, when I’m on my death bed, rather than desperately wanting people to remember me, I want to die peacefully knowing all that I will die with no regrets and that I did all that I possibly can to make the world somehow better.
This post is quite all over the place and I kinda am, too. But I’m a work-in-progress and with God’s graces, I’ll be able to grow and achieve this dream of mine.
(Note: Math exam on Saturday and Engineering Math exam next Monday. I really have to sort things out. I believe I can do this and I really hope that you believe that you can get through whatever you’re struggling with, too. This post might not be as inspirational as I’d like, but I hope it somehow helped you. It’s a beautiful life and though today might not be so good, it’s still a beautiful life.)
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE
Ever since I was preschool, I’ve had this horrible habit of sleeping in class. During elementary and high school, it wasn’t that bad. I still caught up with my classes and performed rather well. But now, I fear that it’s getting worse. Not only do I sleep during class, but I also fall asleep while studying at the dormitory. So, now it’s like I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m having a hard time catching up in class and, with my terrible time management skills, I’m doomed.
And lately I’ve been wondering a bit of what I’m good at. I don’t think I’m that good of a writer and I’m not good in anything else.. so what is there for me? I’m still half-hearted af and I don’t know what to do about that either.
Everything acad-wise seriously sucks right now and I really should be getting my shit together as fast as I can if I want to survive this semester.
BUT in other news, the sun is still up there shining its light to the world and the trees are still grounded and growing and I will get through this.
I watched some stuff in Omeleto and their videos are inspiring af. I cried a bit and I know I cry easily, but I’m at school and their videos are really amazing and motivating and eye-opening, and the like. So, if you’ve got time, I totally recommend that you watch the videos on their page.
I really don’t know who you are or what you’re going through, but I know that you have a purpose for living and you might not know it yet, but you will someday. Whatever you’re having a hard time with, just keep fighting and you’ll get through it. Never think that you don’t matter because you do. I’m sure there are people out there who love you and who care for you and who will cry their hearts out when you die. I might not be having the best time at school right now, but I know I’ll get through and so will you. You’re a BEAUTIFUL human being and don’t ever think otherwise.
Class in 23 minutes. Bye for now! ❤
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE