I extremely miss the girl that I was before,
She knew what she wanted in life – that I adore.
Always doing her best in everything she did,
Sure, she had flaws, too. Let that slide – she was a kid!
Now, I’m almost 20. What have I done so far?
Graduated high school, got in college, drove a car.
All the credit goes to the girl I once was,
What happens now when all of that, she was the cause?
Maybe I’ve forgotten how challenging it was,
What she did was quite a feat, a round of applause.
Yes, I may be kinda lost and rather different now,
But there’s a chance that I can be better somehow.
I’ve gone through so much and these challenges will pass.
I’m not her anymore. Not the top of my class.
But if there’s someone I must beat in life – that’s her.
I can and I will even though right now life is a blur.
I have two upcoming exams tomorrow and on Monday and I need to get my shit together now, probably more than ever. I’m currently taking FIVE majors this semester (and a general elective.. hello again Bio) and there’s a possibility that I might get delayed if I fail even one of these. I mean, I’m all for people taking they’re time and moving at they’re own pace, but my parents are sort of strict and I have this personal goal I need to achieve for myself.
It’s pretty weird to compare myself right now to who I was in the past, but it does make sense, right? She graduated with honors in high school and got into her dream university. On the other hand, I’ve failed a total of FOUR classes during my three-year stay in college, so far.
I’d like to continue this post, but I’ve lost my train of thought (above other things) and I need to continue studying. I’ll leave you with some things I wrote not so long ago which are related to my dilemma-at-hand.
“I’ve lost myself somehow. I don’t know how, or when, but the person typing this out is definitely not the owner of this blog. The Girl With The Pen was someone passionate about writing and everything else she did, who loved the idea of love, and who never once thought of giving up. Where she is now? I wonder.” – Taken from The Stranger With A Pen
“So, this me right now is writing this post and she might not be the girl I was in the past and I might not be her tomorrow, but she’s left pieces of herself in her writing and I will leave pieces of myself in mine.” – Taken from A Writer In Love