Flash Post 015: Summer Rant

Summer isn’t exactly going the way I planned. But then again, what does?

Summer term classes are alright. It’s a bit challenging for me because of the mindset that it’s supposed to be SUMMER. I end up spending more time watching Korean drama or movies,  sleeping way to early, and waking up WAY to late. The bed seems more appealing than usual, even though I’m not all that tired. It’s not like I’ve cut class or anything, I was just almost late ONCE. But it’s still unusual because I usually wake up at least two hours before my first class. NOT 45 minutes.

Besides school, I’m still experiencing a terrible case of writer’s block. It’s been 19 days since I last posted an entry in this blog and I’m really inactive in my Wattpad account. And it’s just really sad. It’s summer and I love writing, so why can’t I write? I need to learn more about how to write better and to actually write.

I still haven’t loss any weight. Due to my schedule, I can’t go to the gym, so I need properly stick to my diet and to get more exercise. I don’t exactly know how to do that, yet. But I want to skate and to be able to do that right, I need to be healthier and more fit.

And it’s just a bit saddening to still be me while other people are evolving and doing great in life. Just a thought.

(Note: So summer’s kinda sad, right now, but it’s gonna be alright and I’m alright. I’ll make sure my next post is a lot more positive and decent than this haha.)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Flash Post 013: Say “No” To This!

I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, but cramming an academic paper just hours before its deadline is, by far the stupidest thing I’ve done. Unlike my blog posts, writing an academic essay requires an intricate process to be followed. One must have a proposal approved by the professor, a clear and precise thesis statement, an outline of the essay which is used as a guide while writing the essay itself, and then finally, the actual essay-writing. I was given more than two weeks and what did I do?

I crammed it within 12 hours. And it is THE MOST horrible essay I have written my life.

Which is seriously depressing for an aspiring writer such as myself. I’ve always thought that writing is what I’m best at, that it’s my passion in life, in a way. But now..

I don’t know.

Or you know, time management.

(Note: HEY! IT’S MY FIRST MARCH POST AND OH GODS MY LIFE IS MESSED UP RN. I HOPE I CAN POST SOMETHING DECENT NEXT TIME. I HOPE YA’LL DOING ALRIGHT.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Flash Post 012: Sleeping

Ever since I was preschool, I’ve had this horrible habit of sleeping in class. During elementary and high school, it wasn’t that bad. I still caught up with my classes and performed rather well. But now, I fear that it’s getting worse. Not only do I sleep during class, but I also fall asleep while studying at the dormitory. So, now it’s like I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m having a hard time catching up in class and, with my terrible time management skills, I’m doomed.

And lately I’ve been wondering a bit of what I’m good at. I don’t think I’m that good of a writer and I’m not good in anything else.. so what is there for me? I’m still half-hearted af and I don’t know what to do about that either.

Everything acad-wise seriously sucks right now and I really should be getting my shit together as fast as I can if I want to survive this semester.

BUT in other news, the sun is still up there shining its light to the world and the trees are still grounded and growing and I will get through this.

I watched some stuff in Omeleto  and their videos are inspiring af. I cried a bit and I know I cry easily, but I’m at school and their videos are really amazing and motivating and eye-opening, and the like. So, if you’ve got time, I totally recommend that you watch the videos on their page.

I really don’t know who you are or what you’re going through, but I know that you have a purpose for living and you might not know it yet, but you will someday. Whatever you’re having a hard time with, just keep fighting and you’ll get through it. Never think that you don’t matter because you do. I’m sure there are people out there who love you and who care for you and who will cry their hearts out when you die. I might not be having the best time at school right now, but I know I’ll get through and so will you. You’re a BEAUTIFUL human being and don’t ever think otherwise.

Class in 23 minutes. Bye for now! ❤

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Flash Post 008: How?

Haven’t written here in a while, mainly because of my hectic schedule and my lack of inspiration (basically, the usual). It’s only been a month and four days into my second year of college and it’s already quite the struggle. It really shouldn’t be and for most people it isn’t, but it is for me because

  1. I’m horrible at time management and prioritizing.
  2. I fall asleep almost all the time (during classes and while I’m studying).
  3. I’m a really slow learner and I forget things easily.

And those are only few of the many reasons why my life right now is worse than it really should be. It’s really frustrating, to be honest. Because of my shortcomings, I’ve been constantly asking people to assist me and/or tutor me with most of the stuff. They’re the best and I’m really grateful for all their help. But sometimes it depresses me to think that I’m frequently depending on them and I feel kind of inferior and indebted to them. Like I’m always asking for their help, but what can offer them? I’m not sure whether you understand, but it’s like wanting to give back for all that they’ve given you, but not knowing how to exactly do that.

It’s sad. It’s sad, but I don’t actually know how to fix it. How do I fix my problem with prioritizing things? How do I avoid sleeping in class? How can I make it through the week with doing everything right while also having time for myself to avoid exploding? Theoretically, I know what needs to be done, but how do I fix me?

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

 

Flash Post 007: Rainy Days

Personally, I prefer spending rainy days at the comfort of my own home, snuggled into a burrito in my bed, probably reading or watching funny videos.

I have no regrets on how I spent my summer, overall. I got to do loads of stuff. Sure, I wasn’t able to travel out of the country, or even out of town, but I was able to have time for myself and for my family. That’s what matters and I’m very grateful and happy that I was able to do it.

I sometimes take for granted what I’m blessed with while I’m experiencing it and only realize how special it is and how happy I felt afterwards, especially during difficult times. Whenever that happens, I feel really depressed and end up wanting to go back and do it all over again.

But really that’s the sad way of looking at memories. Of course it’s completely normal to feel nostalgic and want to relive happy moments again, but the best has yet to come!

(Note: This is the attempt of a borderline depressed person on being optimistic about going back to school tomorrow. I’m not really feeling inspired to be inspiring, so I’ll just leave this here.)

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Flash Post 006: Acceptance

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Okay, so my summer of 2 short months is almost over and I feel okay with it. Honestly, I’m surprised with how well I’m taking it in. I was more depressed by it a few weeks ago than I am right now. Actually, I’m not even depressed now.

I don’t know if I’d feel alright when it comes, but for the time being, I feel fine. I’m just trying to be positive about the whole thing cause’ over thinking never helps, especially in this case.

So, I’m trying to prep myself with everything I need (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically T_T ) because I might not be as okay after I actually resume college.

And I still haven’t re-added my best friend again in Facebook cause’ I don’t know if I’m really okay with it already.

Well, that’s all for now, I guess.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

Flash Post 004:Writer’s BLOCK

It’s 2:53 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I’ve been trying to write something decent in my Wattpad account for two hours and I can’t seem to think of anything good enough not to delete afterwards.

THIS IS THE MOST ANNOYING WRITER’S BLOCK THAT I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED! I have like 0.0% inspiration to write and it sucks BIG TIME. I know I want to write something, something inspired and publish-worthy, but I can’t write.

I just unfriended my best friend because I couldn’t get over what we talked about and agreed on the other day. I feel that it’s better not to be reminded of that person for a while because it’s quite troublesome, really.

I just over think a lot of things too much. I’m sure these stuff will pass eventually.

School starts next week though.

(NOTE: Still no boyfriend, just a super close best friend.)