I actually really don’t know anymore.
I used to be able to fix my life enough for me to think it’s not messed up. I used to be able to feign confidence and get through with whatever. I used to know what I’m doing, more or less. But now, it’s like everything’s crashing down and nothing is going my way and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I know what I love to do, but I also know that I won’t be able to earn much money if I make that my profession. I know what I need to take up to have a not-so-bad career, but I’m not happy with it at the moment. I’m unhappy with having to deal with engineering subjects I barely understand (yes, I’m looking at you, Statics). The course I’m taking up right now is what I need, but it’s also making me unhappy and not being able to act on it is just terrible.
I’m not sure if I’m just lazying around right now or giving up or just confused. I know I’m far from being a professional writer and, right now, I’m also unable to write anything decently. Honestly, I’m just really unhappy and confused with what to do, at the moment.
If I shift to another course now, it would feel as if I’m quitting and giving up. I don’t even know if it’d be alright to shift to a writing or English course because I’m not even that good in those fields and because I know that there’s less money in that.
But it’s what I want to do in life and not being able to pursue a degree in it kinda hurts a bit.
Maybe this is just a bump in the road or maybe I’m not really meant to be taking up an engineering course because it’s not what I’m meant to do in life..?
What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE