Okay, as I’m writing this, I’m 18 years and 5 days old. I guess I’m still pretty young, but gone are my childhood days, my awkward high school years, and my first year in college. Most would see me as a young adult, so I’ve got no excuses for slacking off, for forgetting my responsibilities, and for being clumsy. Does it work that way? I don’t really know. But I guess, I should at least try to convince myself that so I wouldn’t be the same as who I was before turning 18. I can’t change into someone super mature though, but since I want to be the kind of woman who’s got it all together, who’s smart, independent, and reliable, and who’s capable of really chasing after her dreams.
I’m still the same me though. It’s summer, so I’m currently watching Japanese dramas. Yes, I’m growing up, but can’t a grown ups enjoy themselves? I’m not doing anything illegal. I’m not out drinking. I don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke anything. And I don’t think I’ve seen a movie that’s R-rather or NC-17 (I had to research movie ratings for this haha) unless probably it’s horror or violence. I swear a bit though, but I’m trying not to. Well, point is, I’m watching anime and Japanese drama during my summer. I don’t think anything should be wrong with that.
Though I say that, I should also be thinking about my future now more than ever. My dad says I should find something I want to sell and try selling it, something I love. He says it would develop my sales skills and probably my networking, communication, and people skills, too. At first, I told him I’d sell pizza, but then I took it back because I love it too much, I wouldn’t probably be able to sell that many. I’d be eating them haha. But I guess he’s got a point. Someday, I’d be thrown into that big jungle called The Real World, so I’ve got to prepare myself.
I don’t completely know how I’m going to actually do it- to become the woman that I want to be, but I guess if I keep trying, even to the point of faking it sometimes, I might just reach it someday. Like putting up a facade, except it’s not to deceive people into thinking I’m any better than they are, rather it’s because of my selfishness, I guess, because I don’t want them to see me as a weak and terrible person. Does that make sense? Well, I hope it does and, in any case, I’ll try to keep up that facade until I get better and better.
Maybe that’s just life. Maybe this is how it is with humans. I don’t think anyone would want to let others see them as weak or terrible. Maybe it’s just how we endure what we’re going through until we eventually get through it. Ah, I hope I become the kind of person who knows how to help people get through what they’re going through, to touch lives and to help others. Of all the traits I want to have when I grow up, I guess that’s the one I want to have the most. It’s another selfish desire of mine because I believe that if a person if able to make other people happy, even the ones they don’t know, that person will be the happiest. I hope I can be the happiest someday.
Till’ next time ❤
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE