My life right now is basically me trying to survive the week and waiting for the weekends and for exciting future events, such as birthdays and breaks, to happen. Weekdays have become such a negative connotation to me. I feel so depressed during Monday evenings knowing that I have to go back there again and start a whole new week at school. I don’t even remember when I started thinking this way. It’s probably because I treat my life there and my life here as two separate entities. And I view my life here, comfortably at home, as the better life compared to the former. But, that’s just plain wrong.
I am desperately trying to figure out how I’m going to deal with this. Trust me, when you’re battling with yourself on how you’re going to go about life, it’s really frustrating. Everything’s easier said than done! Honestly, I’m a stubborn and lazy idiot. But, the least that I could do is try, right? No good would come out from giving up on yourself.
So, I’ve sort of found a way to at least accept how life is and that’s by choosing to be happy and to live life no matter how hard the circumstances might seem. Happiness isn’t found somewhere or someday. It isn’t limited to weekends, to romantic relationships, to physical beauty, or WHATEVER! It’s a choice that you have to make- the choice to be happy even though life isn’t going your way, even though you’re down on your luck, even though you’re all alone and everything seems so wrong. It definitely isn’t an easy choice, heck it’s a fucking hard one, but you’re so much better off making it.
Don’t wait for those “happy days” where life is perfect because it is never going to happen. There’s still those possibilities that you’ll be disappointed and heartbroken because those plans don’t push through. And it’s like you’ve limited your happiness to those days. It shouldn’t be like that. You shouldn’t be stuck with wanting to live those moments forever (even when it’s already past) and with waiting for more of those days. You deserve so much more than that! You deserve to live your life! You deserve to be happy.
Make the best out of what life throws at you. Staying at a dorm or apartment away from home? Make stuff that would make it a bit more home-y for you, make friends with your roommates by eating out and studying for exams together, and remember why you’re there in the first place (I’d assume it’s for school or work which, in either way, is to pursue greater heights, right?). Studying for exams? Remember why you’re trying so hard, why you even started. Feeling tired and uninspired, to the point where you feel like exploding? It’s okay to take a break every now and then, you know? Do stuff that relax you, such as going for a run, watching 1-2 episodes of your favorite show/anime, sleeping, listening to music, and the like. And, being a Roman Catholic, I believe that I can relax and continue with life by trusting my life to God and knowing he has plans for me, that he would never leave me nor forsake me, and that he wouldn’t give me anything that he knows I can’t take.
Hold on to happiness and never let it go, even when life seems too rough. Please. My wish for you is to be happy because you deserve to be and isn’t it the best feeling in the world? Happiness brings love to oneself and to others. Love brings peace and peace is exactly what we need now. Be happy. Share the love. Bring peace.
(Note: Although I’ve already finished a semester (aka 5 months), I’m still having some trouble getting used to college life. I look too forward to weekends that I just barely survive the weekdays. And it feels awful. I can’t imagine myself continuing this life for at least 4 more years if I keep thinking like this. I hope I can re-read these posts and change my way of thinking from a negative to a positive one. I need to.
I hope this post somehow helped you, too. Feel free to comment whatever you want. I like talking to people, though I really don’t look like it. Well, good luck! ‘Till next time! 🙂 )
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE