I Don’t Even Know Anymore

(Note: I wrote this for my class and, while writing it, it’s like words aren’t enough anymore. Words are just empty words until they are put into action. Sure, I try to help people out and influence their lives, but I feel like I can do better than what I’m doing right now, and that’s a really distressing matter, to me. I feel really sad and discontent with what I have written and what I have done in my life, so far, right now. And it’s like 12 o’ clock in the morning. This really sucks. Oh, and please don’t copy my work. I believe that you have your own voice to be heard and using mine wouldn’t do you justice.)

“The Priceless Joy in Touching the Lives of Others”

By definition, purpose means “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists”. Hence, our purpose in life is, essentially, the reason for our very existence. If we were given some sort of manual, when we were born into this world, then it would have been much simpler to achieve our purpose, but we weren’t. Consequently, we’re the ones who must find the reason as to why we are living. We must undertake a rather difficult journey that includes going through different experience and looking within ourselves, in order to find our purpose.

I desire to die knowing that I had done something remarkable, during my lifetime. I don’t need my name to be written in history books and the like, rather I wish to have been able to touch the lives of different people, in one way or another. I believe that creating a positive impact on another person’s life is an incomparable achievement. It may seem like I have a long way to go in fulfilling that ultimate dream, but by constantly taking steps toward it, such as performing small acts of kindness for strangers and trusting that they do the same, I have faith that I can and will achieve it, eventually.

I don’t expect my efforts to be reciprocated. Honestly, as long as I was able to help them somehow and made them feel like someone special, as they should, I don’t need anything in return. What else could I even ask for that would be better than that heartwarming feeling?

To be able to advance with my vision, I need to take a good look at myself and fix who I am, first. I ought to be aware of my personal strengths and weaknesses, so that I could improve and become a better person. If I want to promote change, therefore I need to be the change I want to see in this world. How could I be able to influence other people’s lives if I weren’t trustworthy and credible enough? I don’t want to become a hypocrite and advise people to live their lives in a certain way, while I don’t conform to my own teachings. I must set a good example for them to believe in me.

To become a person that other people would look up to and to be able to help others in a much wider range, I need to excel further in my academics. Certainly, there are plenty of simple ways to perform random acts of kindness and assist people, but wouldn’t I be more able to do so if I had the resources and connections? If I had the opportunity to affect more people’s lives greater, by creating a foundation, for example, then I would be willing to do anything to make that happen.

And where else would I start touching the lives of people but my own motherland? How could I travel and influence people from other countries, while my own country collapses? As a student, I can start small by simply offering food to the beggars and street children I pass by and donating the clothes that I have already outgrown. When I graduate and become a working citizen, I’ll have more means to serve and help my fellow countrymen.

Concisely, I believe that my purpose in life is to be able to influence the lives of people, by helping them in one way or another, and to be an inspiration to others. It will surely be a long and tough journey, but I find fulfilling happiness in accomplishing that goal, so everything I need to do in order to achieve it would be truly worth it. And there are plenty of ways to start pursuing that dream, beginning with myself and giving back to the country that has given me so much.

(Well, that’s all. I still feel awful and dissatisfied with everything. Shit. Tomorrow’s another day to beat who I am today, anyway, so I’m heading to bed. Sayonara~)



2 thoughts on “I Don’t Even Know Anymore

  1. You are one of the best people I’ve ever “met”. You’re so kind and it seams that you are not even capable of hatred. I would really like to be as much good as you and if all people were that noble the entire world would be a better place.

    • Thank you so much for saying such kind words. I’m only human, after all, so I’m capable of hatred and flaws, but I try not to because it’s just pointless to go on and live life focusing on those negative things. I’m still a work-in-progress and I believe that to be able to change the world into a better place, one should change himself/herself first.

      Again, thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Enjoy your day! 🙂
      ~The Girl With The Pen

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