It’s easy to say that you’re going to do tons of stuff over summer or some break, but it’s really quite hard to actually make those things happen. That’s what I’m dealing with now. It’s not exactly a problem, not really, but it’s kind of depressing to see myself unproductive and somewhat weak. While other people my age, or younger than me, are doing incredible things, I’m here at home.
It’s not anyone’s fault but my own, really. It’s not that I’m poor or whatever. I’m just horrible at planning and actually doing shit. How am I ever going to be a successful, strong, and independent woman in the future? Ugh.
And what if I die soon. I mean, no one knows, right? I could die tomorrow, and I have done absolutely nothing today. Yes, it might be some paranoia or whatever, but it’s still true. I would die knowing that I didn’t do anything that would contribute change to the world, help people, and the like. I’d be dying with regrets, and i don’t want that.