(Note: This post, like any other of my posts, is just purely my thoughts, emotions, realizations, opinions, and such. You don’t have to necessarily agree with them and please don’t judge me for my way of thinking. Let’s just all get along and respect each others’ beliefs. Your cooperation is very much appreciated.)
As human beings, we all have our own strengths and weaknesses, whether we like it or not. One of the weaknesses that we may experience is “selfishness”. According to the website of Merriam-Webster, selfish means “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others”. I believe that everyone, no matter how good they seem to be, is selfish to some degree. And that’s only normal.
Of course being overly selfish is terrible, but you can’t help admit that you’ve at least thought of selfish thoughts or acted in a selfish manner. Who doesn’t want to get their way? From when we were babies crying to be fed or to be paid attention to when we are (young) adults and mope when we don’t get what we want. It’s practically in our genes. It really cannot be helped that we are selfish to a certain degree.
With all that being said, despite being selfish, we must understand that other people have their own priorities in life, too. Like us, they go struggle through different problems, they have people they love and treasure, and they have a life that they have, by all means, they right to live it. If there are things important to you, they also have things important to them.
I’m not saying that you should always give in to other people’s demands and sacrifice your own happiness, rather I’m helping you realize that, before selfishly thinking about yourself, you should also consider the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of those around you. For example, before throwing a trauma at your mom for not allowing you to go to your class’ outing, think of how tired she is, coming from work, and how she’s only thinking of your safety and well-being. Or maybe when a friend couldn’t come to a hang out you planned because (s)he had other plans that are more important to him/her.
Think before you say or do anything irrational. Yes, you might be hurt because life’s being cruel to you and doesn’t let you get your way. Thoughts like “WHY DIDN’T SHE LET ME GO? DOESN’T SHE TRUST ME?!” or “WHY CAN’T (S)HE GO? DAMMIT! I BADLY WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH HIM/HER!” may cross your mind. Sulk and cry all you want. But, after that, you can become a better person and feel better by compromising a bit, like getting closure with your mom and talk openly about stuff. Maybe she’d understand how badly you want to attend the outing and let you go with a chaperon. Or maybe reschedule the hang out with your friend.
This world is cruel and unruly as it is. We can rise above it by acting rationally and, rather than purely being selfish, consider the people around us. Honestly, I know how hard it is. It’s really hard pushing yourself to think rationally and compromise with the other parties involved. For one, my siblings and I always argue about who gets to use the computer and if we would play board games as family time. We all have our selfish thoughts and reasons for being the way we are, but, again, we must consider the people around us. Being the eldest, it’s really conflicting battle of “I’m eldest and I get what I want.. ALWAYS!!” and “I’m eldest, so I have to be the mature and rational one”.
It’s always gonna be tough, but I think, the people who you give way for would really appreciate it. They might be strangers that needed a ride and you gave let them have the taxi you stopped on a rainy day, classmates who didn’t understand the lesson and you agreed to tutor them, even if it was during your free time and you could have been out enjoying, or your parents that desperately needed a break and you did the chores they were supposed to do. You really don’t know what they’re going through in their life, but by making them feel special or happy because you did something unselfish.
I’ll end this post with a quote that is slowly but surely influencing the way I live my life:
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE