The Truth?

*WARNING: What you are about to read is a somewhat general post about crushes and how I feel about my latest crush. If you are looking for inspiration and the like, THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU. I’m sure I have several posts that can accommodate you on that.*

As of now, I have had several (to be more specific, I’d say approximately 20) crushes. I’m the type to admire someone easily and quickly and I quite hate that about myself. It’s fairly difficult to have a crush, especially if you take crushes seriously, like me. It’s really annoying and, for some reason, no matter how many times I make the mistake of having a crush, I commit it again and again.

Well, I guess having a crush isn’t that bad, but it’s still a somewhat distraction to more important things, like studies. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a distraction, but you cannot deny that your way of thinking when you have a crush and when you don’t have a crush is different, even by a measly neuron.

My crush, right now, is a really decent guy. I admit that he has flaws and what not, but doesn’t everyone? I have been liking him for quite some time now and he’s just constantly in my mind. Of course, I can prioritize what I am thinking enough depending on the situation, but when I don’t have to think about anything important, I’d say he’s one of the thoughts that pop instantly in my head, along with anime and such.

I have only conversed with him a few times in the past, so I’d like to be able to talk to him more often so I’d get to know him better. It is really quite challenging to go up and talk to your crush, isn’t it? There’s this lack of possible conversation starters, an awkwardness to some degree, possible inferiority complex, problems of over-thinking, and the like.

I guess I just have to gather enough courage to come up to him and talk to him frequently. Oh these teenage girl hormones and rants!! I just want to know him well enough, probably become his friend, then maybe later on, become closer to him (even as a friend, I really don’t mind).

Oh, and something I’ve discovered only recently is that one can grow to love the idea of loving someone, but then, when that times comes when you actually love someone or are in a commitment/relationship with someone, it’s totally different. If I take crushes seriously, then I’d say that I take commitments and relationships more seriously. I don’t want to have a relationship with someone I can’t imagine a future with. What then is the actual point of that? And, besides, it’s not like I’d be in that kind of relationship anytime soon (actually, anytime within the next 5-7 years), so I still have loads of time to think about these sort of stuff.

I’m going to give you some advice that I have come up with through the years. Note that these advice is made up by an amateur like me and I haven’t had any experience of serious romantic relationships EVER (and I’m not planning to have it anytime in the near future), but I have had experiences in confessing, being rejected, talking with my crush, etc, so I hope this somehow helps you.

1. It’s alright to take initiative, whether you’re a girl or a boy. How could you even notify him/her that you exist when you don’t make him/her notice you (even just a little bit). Conversations and subtle compliments will do.

2. Don’t get your hopes up too much. Though it’s nice that you’ve progressed through conversations and such, it’s better to not get too carried away by things. It’s highly possible that you’re just another acquaintance/friend to him/her and that he/she is polite enough to respond to you.

3. If you are seriously crushing on someone, don’t tell too many people about it. Most people want to humor themselves with your stories and rants. They might even gossip about it and share it with other people. BEWARE!

4. Don’t seem too awkward. Don’t over-think the smallest of situations, like if he/she doesn’t respond quickly or if you haven’t seen him/her for a while. Chances are, they’re just living their lives with their own personal priorities. Although, do be sensitive if you know you’ve said something unpleasant or inappropriate.

5. Be yourself. I’ve watched plenty of romance movies and read romance novels to know that pretending to be someone you’re not is NEVER okay. Why would you settle for someone who doesn’t like the real you? So, it may not be your crush, but I do believe that will be someone who accepts you, no matter what. You deserve to be with that person.

Well, that’s everything I could write, as of the moment. I bid you good luck with all your endeavors. Ja ne~

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