Right now, I am really pissed off. I feel bitter and really selfish. I guess everyone could feel this way sometimes. I don’t have any groups at my school and I can’t really commit to it. I can go solo during the time before tests because I don’t want to get distracted. I just walk away from everyone and study all by myself. I don’t see the productivity of studying with people who talk about everything, except lessons. I maintained a pretty okay study group last year, but now, we’ve disintegrated into different sections.
Mind you, I feel really bitter, so don’t take whatever I say seriously. I just want to let it out and probably say something positive, reassuring, and somehow inspirational in the end. I just feel sadness and loneliness. It’s the first day of my semester break and I’m feeling such negative vibes.
To me, right now, they seem like inconsiderate people who rant about shit. They have these pathetic dramas. I don’t want to get involved with them. I hate them. I hate the way they are. I hate how they could all manipulate the plans because, well, majority rules. And I hate myself for thinking such bitter things.
Rationally, I would think that it’s just the way it is. It really cannot be helped. They belong in groups because they’re willing to commit and compromise other stuff for their group’s sake. They come together so that they could feel a bit better because reality sucks. They have people they can turn to, people that fully accept them. Who doesn’t want to have people like that?
I really feel like being sad about this, but I can’t afford it. I can’t afford to throw away my only break, after what seemed like hell, to such a minor thing. No. I will not let this ruin my break.
Where’s the inspirational part? Well, while feeling all this shit, it’s really hard to find the brighter side. But it is, nonetheless, there. If you’re in the same case as I am, try to find comfort from your friends. Yes, you might not have a group, but I’m sure you do have at least a few friends. Arrange a meeting with them. Convince yourself that you are going to be happy and content with what you have. You’re going to meet a lot of people in this world and not all of them will leave you with happy memories.
Remove all negativity from your mind. Like, literally remove your brain, wash off all those feelings of depression, loneliness, sadness, and the like from it, then put it back in again. Those stuff will only burden you. You don’t need the drama.
I want to be happy. I want to be happy. I want to be happy.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE