Tidal Wave of Emotions

I just finished watching Kaichou Wa Maid Sama and I am definitely in love with Usui Takumi. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely ship him with Misaki Ayuzawa; I just want to find a real human being like him. I know it’s quite impossible, but he’s just so perfect. I can’t not wish for a guy like him. I want a guy that would support and save me whenever I fall or break down, even though he might annoy the hell out of me. My friend who’s also into the same anime assures me that I will meet my own Usui at the right time. Since I am a firm believer that one day I will meet my special someone somewhere, I trust her words. She’s a really good and close friend. For now, I guess, I’ll just have to be the kind of girl that those kind of guys would like. Someone independent, strong, and intellectual.

I am also missing a very dear friend of mine. We used to be really really close and now, well, she has other friends and I have other friends. I think I’m the one who messed up. I was such a dramatic person back then. I started numerous fights and just fucked the whole thing up. And now I feel like her life is so much better without me. Maybe it is. Either way, I miss her a lot. We occasionally greet each other in hallways, but that’s it. *Sighs* Though I miss her, I hope she’s having a wonderful life. She used to have a blog like this, but she deleted every single post. Now I’m alone in this blogging universe. Makes me think, I might still be dramatic up to now. But maybe not as dramatic as I was back then.

Another thing that worries me is that I might be the only one stuck in the past. I watched the video I made for my previous section and it still sort of breaks my heart. Like me other friend, I miss them so much. Although I could be a real loner and a grade-conscious person sometimes, I still had a fair share of memorable experiences with them. Their like family, someone who I can trust and depend on. I miss those times when we crammed our homeworks and reviewing for history class the last possible minute. I miss business management class and our frozen times. I miss a lot of times. And I fear that I might be the only one holding on to those times. It makes me really sad.

Well, that’s it. Yup. That’s definitely it. This is where I end my post and go back to doing other things…

Here I go… Okay… Goodbye for now… Folks… Mates…



4 thoughts on “Tidal Wave of Emotions

  1. You should give her an invite to coffee or something. I know it’s scary and that’s how life is. People make mistakes, especially in high school. Trust me. I’ve been out for a year and a half and reading your blog reminds me of how school used to be. Never be afraid to offer a hand to someone. Even if you’ve burned them in the past, or they’ve burned you. You’ll never know until you try. So just go for it. You only live once. And as for the boyfriend thing, don’t worry. You’re young and have plenty of time. Relationships when your young are overrated. You’ll grow at your own pace.

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