These past few months, most of my posts have been all about love and the guy that I am infatuated with. I guess it’s because he’s all I could possibly think about these past few months (aside from college, family, and friends). I’m a crazy person because how could I be this terribly infatuated with a guy I barely know. I’ve been saying this a thousand times now, and it’s all that I could say about this whole affair: I don’t know.
I’ve been trying not to write anything about him since I’m trying to get over and move on from him, but writing is my way of expressing my thoughts and emotions. And this is no desperate romantic post, rather a bid of goodbye and good luck to him. I’ can’t really promise not to be awkward around him, but that’s all that I could afford to do, as of now.
I think that all of us have the right to find this one special person that we could have as a lifetime companion, but that’s a bit too long term so let me rephrase that. All of us have the right to like someone because of certain traits and characteristics. It could be an admiration because of his greatness in history and the way he tries deepening his voice to recover from its breaking during a class presentation or maybe it’s because of she’s a fanatic of the same show you like and her cute physical appearance. And all of this is completely random and theoretical. Completely.
I could have a crush on a person who likes someone else who likes someone else who likes someone else who likes me. Yes, having a crush is complicated like that. No, no one has a crush on me. I find it rather impossible for someone to like me. But, going back to the topic, you don’t have a realistic view if you think it’s common to be a person who is the crush of your crush. It happens, definitely, but not often enough to make me believe that it’s common.
Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that even though my crush likes another girl doesn’t mean that I should feel bitter or sad about it. It’s normal. We’re different. I reject the idea of making the effort to like the things he like because he likes it so that maybe he’d like me. I’d be me, he’d be him, and she’d be her.
I see the way he looks at her. I accept the fact that he’d never look at me that way. So, why am I blocking his view of her? Why do I keep feeling affected whenever they’re near each other, whenever he looks at her. I should just maybe wait until I’m older, when someone would look at me the way he looks at her, who loves me for who I am.
To the guy I’m talking about (you know who you are, given the one in a million chance that you may be reading this), I wish you good luck with all your grand endeavors, including your pursue towards the girl of your dreams. I’d probably ship you two later this year. Cheers! 🙂
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE