May the 5th be with you..

I meant to go with the flow of everyone who’s saying “May the 4th be with you.”, but seeing that I’m already late with the trend, I’m sticking with my corny instincts. I haven’t written here in a while because I couldn’t write anything decent enough to post. Whenever I try writing something, I end up over thinking the time, worrying about more important things, and losing my inspiration to write. A review teacher told us that we shouldn’t write depending on inspiration, rather by force, because that’s how my college entrance essay would be like, forced.

Surprisingly, I’ve been sleeping early these past couple of days. Mind you, my definition of early is before or exactly 12 midnight. Even though I’d like to keep that record, I can’t. I don’t feel like sleeping right now and I’m reading this love story in Wattpad that just has me on the hook.

College. That is how I think I could sum up all the weeks I haven’t been able to write. I know that my actions don’t justify that statement, but it’s constantly been haunting me. I have to take these exams during my last year of high school, exams that would determine my future. Gods.

My mom recently told me during a very very tense walk around the village (it wasn’t the walk that was tensing), I should just study and do my very very best right now and during those exams because I shouldn’t stress out about the results, rather I should be stressed out if I didn’t review that much. She has an effective point there. I’ve been wasting time, being so nervous about the outcome, that I didn’t  lost time in actually studying for it. What good could stressing out and being nervous do to me? It would just steal the time I have to review and prepare for the actual exam.

Honestly, I have a lot of work to do and my time right now is limited. I am terrible at Geometry, I need to work some stuff out in Algebra, my vocabulary isn’t that wide enough (to know the words vouchsafing, intrepid, flummox, peregrinations, altruistic, etc.), my science is a little rusty, my reading comprehension is pretty okay, and my grammar skills are not that good enough.

My whole life has been revolving around this moment. I can fuck this up. I only get once chance and I shouldn’t fuck that one chance up. I need to focus on these kind of things, the kind of which are important and will greatly affect my future.

I’m excited for my fourth year in high school. I think the set of classmates I have aren’t half that bad. I’m lucky enough to know and be friends with some of them and none of the known bitches or jerks are my classmates, so I guess I’m good.

What else? Crushes? HA! Besides my old crush’s look-alike, I don’t think I have any interest in guys. Regarding the rules in courting, I think girls should be able to make the first move. It’s unfair that guys are the only ones that are allowed to court people they like. How about us, huh? Are girls just limited into standing and waiting for someone to ask them out or tell them that they like them? I know that it’s tradition for boys to initiate, but it’s the 21st century and girls should be able to do the same. Although, if either of them do it too often, I think that they’re just messing around people’s feelings and lives and that they should just stop flirting and start manning up and figuring out what and who they really want.

Am I planning to make the first move anytime soon? heck no. I don’t even have an actual crush at the moment. Up until now, I don’t know why I did what I did during Valentine’s day this year. I guess infatuation overcame me and convinced me that I really really liked that particular person who, in this blog, shall forever be named “Banana Guy” for no apparent reason whatsoever.

It’s already 1:31 am and I should be getting to sleep. Till’ next time..




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