Stalling

I haven’t written a decent blog post in a while, because all I ever think about is him and I’d rather not write another post dedicated to him. I have to forget that he meant anything more to me than a classmate, a groupmate, and maybe a friend. I have to stand up and move on from this great fall, and focus on more important things, like writing my story, running my page/s, and writing on this blog. Everything is temporary in this world, including thoughts about him in my mind. So, now, I’m stalling and avoiding the mere thought about him, which I completely ignored while writing this paragraph. Twitter is my second ranting place, next to this blog of mine. I’ve been tweeting shitty tweets about being hurt, heartbroken, and feeling like shit. I’ve been tweeting the kind of stuff that are kind of too low level for this blog.

Anyways, lately, I’ve been wondering on who I truly am and how everything I do can affect whatever future I have. I know I am sort of paranoid for over thinking those things, but I just can’t help but become curious on what my future would look like, if I’m making the right choices. And all I know, truly, about myself, is that I am a very lazy person who likes reading and writing and is has a very hard time on focusing on stuff. All I know about me is based on who I want to be. I want to be a people person while the truth is I’m a very very shy and quiet and awkward person. I want to be that smart sophisticated woman when I’m really that lazy slack-y person. I usually feel that I’m just faking the whole thing. But then, I have to fake it because I don’t want to be this shit of a person. 

I don’t know what my opinions are about stuff. I don’t know when to stop being kind to people because maybe they’re just abusing it and using it to their advantage. I don’t know.. how to continue this post. So, I’m going to go now, and continue this post when I decide on who I am. Okay?

 

LIVE, LAUGH. LOVE

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