Infatuated.

I don’t know what this is. I don’t know why I am feeling this. I don’t want this.

I am confused, really. I’m sure that this is nothing, logically speaking. But when I see you, I can’t help myself but fall for you. It’s very very annoying. Whenever I see you, I think it’s more than a crush, that I might actually like you more than that, but then it hurts when you’re hurt or when you’re calling someone else’s name. I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know how to write this properly since I cannot gather my thoughts right, but I have to go on with this since I’ve been itching to write about you for a while.

I suspect that my teenage girl hormones are behind this. I mean, what else could it be? I’m actually hoping and wishing that we’d like hang out, and that’s something these hormones could do. I want to ask you to prom, another thing these hormones could do. Basically, this is not me, because this is not like me, this is nothing like me. I’m not that type of girl that would do those stuff, especially during high school, and with everything that’s going on. 

We’re different, a little too different. You like things I don’t like. I like things you don’t like. You’re good at stuff I’m not good at. I’m good at stuff you’re not good at. I should really just stop trying to have the same interests as you. I mean, the first one was pretty cool, but I can’t like anime for you. I can’t like other stuff for you. I just can’t.

And you don’t even care. You just don’t care that I am head-over-heels for you. You don’t care that I am dying because you’re sad or when you’re hanging with another girl. Jealousy, another evidence that my teenage girl hormones are behind this. You just don’t care. And I can’t expect you to care, since this is all just my fault, that I can’t force you to like me or even care about me. I keep saying that this is nothing serious, that this is just another crush, no big deal, but sometimes, I wish that it was more, but I know it could never be. Now, I could actually relate to Eponine for her unrequited love for Marius. 

This is a post that I wouldn’t want my parents or relatives to see because it’s so hormone-y, that it’s so crappy and ugh. I really hope no one who knows me sees this, because this isn’t really one of my finest works. This is a post written by a lovesick heartbroken girl that can’t express her feelings verbally. 

This isn’t really an inspiring post, so if you want to read some inspirational stuff, I advise you to browse through my other posts. 

 

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE

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