I’m usually not the type of person that would explore uncharted territories and go adventures and stuff like that, but I know that I’m also not the type of person that would just give in to life and depression and hopelessness. I have been going through the same shit hundreds of times and the only way out of this maze is pulling myself together and changing this maze, that has now become my prison, all together. If I want something I’ve never had, I must do something I have never done.
I don’t think it would kill me to try new things cause’ the old things have been quite a bore and has trapped me within its boundaries. I just don’t know how to start. I mean, it’s easy to plan that you’re just going to suddenly talk to people about interesting things and all of you are going to enjoy the conversation, but it’s hard to put into action, especially when you’re not really comfortable with those people and especially when you’re not comfortable with talking to people in general. It’s hard for me to admit that I’m the outcast, the loner, but is it really them who left me or is it me who just ran away?
Truth be told, I’m not that depressed anymore. I have stopped crying when I’m alone and in the middle of the night. I tell myself that everything is alright, everything’s going to get better, you just have to survive. But, I can’t just survive. I have to struggle much harder to live rather than simply existing. I don’t want my happiness to depend on the future I want to have or on people that I would most likely lose someday, but I want happiness to stay with me, during those tough and desperate times, and assure me that I can get through whatever I’m having trouble with.. Happiness is always a choice. It is a door that has never been locked, and all you have to do is convince yourself to open it and see the wonders that it has in store for you.
Change is the only permanent thing in this world. It is the cause of progress and development. Without it, we’d probably be stuck in caves and have nothing. I wish I was someone who could try to make a stand and be the change I want for this world. I want to crack out of this hard shell of mine and break through. I wish I’d have the guts to stand out, be happy, live life well, and find those rare true friends that would accompany me in this journey through the road called life.
Explorations are what cause discoveries and breakthroughs and new information that leads to a better world, a much much bigger world. I believe we only know a handful the information about the things around us, and those still unknown are mysteries still waiting to be solved. There are worlds beyond this world and there are worlds beyond those worlds. Knowledge cannot be confined to a certain amount and neither should I be confined within the cage I have put myself into. I have so much more stuff to see, and do, and achieve.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE