To This New Year Coming

Only a few days before 2014 begins. I don’t know where to begin with this post. New years’ are just usually something people celebrate entering a new year, making those resolutions and stuff, keeping it up for like a week, then forgetting it the rest of the year. I usually celebrate this wonderful event with my family at my relative’s place. I don’t particularly like fireworks, I try not to be that scared of them, and just adore the pretty colors they make. I guess it is fun, watching that moment pass by, until we have to go back home and sleep, with the rest of the year still ahead of us. 

This year was okay. There were good and bad moments that I’d remember this year with, just like every other year. I’ve met some people and lost some people. I changed, somehow, mostly with my hair and maybe my attitude or something. I don’t really change that much and I take that as an insult. I want to change into someone better and worth more than I am. But, nah, don’t have that kind of guts making that big of a change yet. I suck, I really do. 

What else? Uhm.. I’ve written in this blog less, and that’s because of my schedule and usual lack of the inspiration and motivation to write. I really should be doing my world history assignment, but I just finished one and I think that I deserve to write at least one blog post. I’ve been watching Doctor Who and I’m loving every bit of it. Thanks to my classmates, I’ve been addicted to it ever since.

I get I got out of topic in that last paragraph, so going back on track, that’s life. Change is inevitable and people could only make the change if they dedicate themselves to what they want to achieve. I want to change. I really do, but then I forget I do, or do something the night before that just prevents me from waking up in the morning and ruins the whole thing. I’m an insomniac, or at least I think I am. It’s completely unusual for me to sleep early. I’m more likely to stay awake until 10 am than sleep at 10 am, but that’s completely unhealthy and I’m going to die sooner if I continue doing that.

I’ve got amends to do this year, less than last year but amends nonetheless. Starting with my mum, I’m sorry every time I argue or fight with you. I do try not to annoy you or get your blood rising, but then I end up screwing up. I love you and thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I know I don’t usually show it, but I am grateful for you being my mother. Then, to my sisters, sorry if I suck being your older sister at times, most of the time, actually. But then are those sweet moments of hugging and kissing each other and you guys are just so cute and cuddly. Don’t grow up so fast, okay? I love you, guys, so much too. Lastly, I’m sorry to those people, especially friends, I have disappointed. I’m thankful for you, guys, that have been with me through those shitty times at school and those glorious times too. You’re like my bros’ and sis’ without the blood relation. I love you, all. 

I cannot summarize what I’ve learnt this year into one thing. I mostly learned that changes have to be done in order to experience something you have never experienced, you can never be the best but you can do your best. and that you should really cherish those people that genuinely care about you because someday they’re going to perish and no matter how hard you cry you can never bring them back. I’m the type of person that has a really stubborn attitude and suck at being optimistic. I don’t usually learn, but when I do, I forget weeks after. I suck at being a human being and want to be something more. 

So, there. I might post another thing before the new year and I might not. I can’t promise to write before the new year, but I do promise that you’re going to see so much more of me next year. I am never going to abandon this blog because this is my happy place, my silver lining, my virtual world, my first mark to this world. I love writing, and I love this blog, forever. 

Have a happy new year to all ya’ readers!




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