Desperately trying to survive is all that I had been doing these couple of weeks. I haven’t been particularly good at most subjects I have to face this third quarter and I’m not such a hotshot with friends or life either. Sometimes, I don’t want to live in this world anymore, with so much depression and agony and hurt. But, then there’s nothing I can do about it except get over it and keep going.

I don’t want to just survive. I want to excel. I want to be the best of the best, the cream of the crop. I don’t want to be just an average student living an average life with nothing but normality and ordinary in her blood. I want to live, not simple exist. But, how? Existing is all that I could manage. Everything has just been fast paced and confusing. How can I attempt to stand up on my feet when my head’s all jumbled up. 

How can I do my best? I really don’t want to see my grades going down, they’re low enough as it is. Just thinking about it depresses me. I need serious study help and motivation to get through this. I know it’s not over yet, but it almost is. I need to get my shit together and move forward. I don’t want to be stuck somewhere I don’t want to  be in anymore. I don’t want to be as sad and desperate as I am now. 


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