How Many Times Can I Mess Up?

Warning: This is a RANT post. If you’re looking something to brighten up your day or to inspire you, find some other post in this blog. I’m sure you’ll search for something that fits you eventually. But, if your looking for something realistic, pessimistic, and hopelessly desperate, keep on reading. 

I’m all alone again. It’s not because there aren’t any people to comfort me or listen to me, rather, I choose to be alone because I fear that no one will understand what I feel right now. I’ve made a lot of things I regret throughout my life time, so far. Some I regret more than others. People say not to cry about spilled milk, but the “what if’s” are endless. 

Am I a troubled kid? If you’ve been reading my blog, you’d know the answer to that. But, if you haven’t read any of my blog posts before this, yes, yes I am a very troubled teenager. Partly, because of the fact that I’m going through the phase on which a child becomes an adult and learns more stuff about this so-called “life”. And, because, no matter how hard I try not to screw things up, I eventually do.

I’d pretend that everything’s okay just for the sake of enjoying the moment. But, don’t you think for one second that I don’t insult myself whenever I’m in front of that horrible mirror, cry on the inside whenever I’m reminded that I didn’t get in, get hurt whenever I overhear someone backstabbing me, and wish that I was in this other world whenever I feel sad. 

If you could go back to the past and change something, what would it be and why? Most people would answer “I wouldn’t change a thing because all those experiences shaped me to who I am today”, but I’d answer “I don’t know” Then mention a bunch of times where I want to go back to and change things. 

Unfortunately, time traveling is only for movies and the like. In the real world, you screw up, you have to accept the consequences. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time, they say. Every action has its multiple consequences.

I have to cut this short.





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