Just thinking about it poisons all the happiness I have within me. I really don’t know how to deal with this dilemma wherein both sides of me win. See, there’s a huge difference between a “want” and a “need”, and it looks like I really need this to survive the next school year, even though I don’t want to attend it anymore.
Why does life have to seem hard? All I want is to have a splendid summer, but that would cause me to be a dumb and fat 15 year old who will never amount to anything. Shit. I can’t seem to find the brighter side to my miserable life right now. I only see it as a dull way to spend an awesome vacation from school.
I know it’s gonna help me in the mere future, but I can’t stand waking up early to go and study, unlike some people. I also feel left out and depressed whenever I’m there because most of the students are in the star section, while I’m the cut offed Rank 3.
I just really don’t want to go, but have to. Make any sense? Excellent.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE