I don’t know who you are anymore

It was like only yesterday that we were having lunch together. You, me, Isabel, Jean and Faith were part of some group of best friends called “Best Friends Circle). We hanged out everyday at school. I told you everything and, in exchange, you told me everything as well (as far as I know). We played sports during our PE time and we enjoyed it. We ran across the huge field and reached the end of it panting. We;d ride the bus together after school and I’d see you be dropped off at your house. 

But now that we’ve grown up, I don’t know you anymore. I barely get the chance to talk to you since we’re both busy. It’s been 2 years since we’ve gone our separate ways, but, it doesn’t mean we should disconnect. I try to call you whenever I’m at 7-11 and most of the time, I end up getting disappointed. 

Now, you’ve told me you’re starting to use make-up which I find very weird. When we were in elementary, we barely cared about that junk that girly girls used. I might have used it in small doses for special occasions but, you told me that you’d use it at school everyday. I don’t understand you anymore. I try to get in with the idea, but, I seriously don’t like it. It’s not like you should follow what other people tell you about things but, I feel that you’re growing up and stuff.

I know that I’m growing up as well. I talk and act different. I swear and curse a lot. I have different interests now compared to those interests I had when we were in elementary. But, I still take the time to talk to you and the rest of the group. I take time to plan the gimiks that don’t really happen. I miss you a lot and you act as if that’s an immature thing.

I hate you right now. You make me feel sick whenever you say “no” for possibly no apparent reason. You say that I’m immature for being sensitive enough to care and to miss you. You say that I shouldn’t post my thoughts on facebook because it’s not good to see and, basically, crap. I just hate that you don’t make the slightest effort to make ends meet. 

That is bullshit right there and I hate you for that. I know I might sound immature at times but that’s cause of reasons you will NEVER understand. This is the period of growing up and realizing who your real friends are and I’m starting to wonder if I really need a person like you in my life. A person that calls you crap because you’re being who YOU are.

Advice to the readers: 

In the period of growing up, you gain some friends and lose some. Choose who you’re real friends are. Those who would stand by your side even when the whole world is against you. Someone who’s shoulder you could cry on ANYTIME. Someone who you could trust. I’m not saying that I’m a perfect friend. To be honest, I start 80% of the fights I make with my close friends. I don’t know why I may be super sensitive and ignorant at times. I just am and I’m sorry for that.



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