Last Day.. Of the 2nd Week

At Bio class right now, our LAST subject. I’m adjusted to the fact that I’m no longer in Euclid, but I still miss it. 2nd year’s super busy and stressful.. but.. it’s alright. I’ve fully gotten over my past crush. Yay me! But to be honest, I’ve been thinking that a lot of guys are cute ever since. But I don’t want to have a crush since.. well.. it usually ends with being Bh </3

Okay, at 7-11 right now. Nothing to do but write. Today’s bus ride was H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E! But not the usual horrible I’ve experienced, it was worse. They (a.k.a. other people in the bus) were talking with the 7th graders and.. well.. I think they’re even closer with my other busmates than I am. They were doing what I should’ve done last year, TALK. I was too busy crying last year. I sure wish  could act normal in the bus and like the other 2nd years, but I can’t. Last year, I’ve been the loner. I was so.. quiet. Then, I learned that they were teasing me behind my back, and since then, I’ve hated and cursed them. Especially.. um.. Jah and Leonard. I think that I could never change that so I try not to care too much.. ugh.. I hate overthinking.

There it is again. My fatal flaw: the want to be p e r f e c t. I hate myself. I’m fvcking fat, u-g-l-y, pimple-y and etc. I’m not like other people, pretty, smart, nice, AWESOME! I don’t think that anyone would EVER like me for me. I know it’s a sad thought but, it may be true. People may see me as a super optimistic person. I thank them for that, but, the dark truth is, I’m not that “optimistic”. I want to be, but I’M NOT.

I don’t know what to do. Once again, I’m LOST, But, what I do know I should do is STUDY! I want to be in the star section in 3rd year. It would totally break me if I wasn’t. Being kinda smart is the only thing, I think, I could be proud of.

I’ve recently learned what I didn’t and don’t want to know.. seriously.. FARADAY *period*

I’ve been crazy, a lot crazy. 

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A CRUSH! It’ll distract me from studying. Especially, if I don’t even know the dude. Wweellllllllllll…. It’s not really a “crush” per se, I’d say it’s an um.. cutation? I think the dude’s cute. It’s normal, I guess.




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